Fake smiles

[sk66rc]

This is more of a vent than anything else... I just happen to remember an old saying...

"The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets... The prettiest eyes cried the most tears... And the kindest hearts have felt the most pains"...

I guess I'm having one of those days... Anybody else find it hard to put up a front, put up a brave face? I know everybody has off days... Those days that just won't get better no matter what you've tried... Anyone tired of trying?

Please feel free to ignore this as I said, this is just a vent... I just wanted to get it out of my head & put it down somewhere & I figured this is just as good of an outlet as any other...

 

[Tealeaf]

At this point, it just feels like second nature to me. I do wish there were more people who'd listen to the things in life that aren't roses and rainbows, though.

 

[Sci-Fi]

To answer you questions with one word, yes.

I've found when you've mastered faking it you can usually spot those who are as well. I used to put on a smile everyday at my last job, even though I did enjoy my work it was just the situation and the loneliness of life that was getting me down. If you'd ask any of my customers they'd probably tell you I was always smiling, happy, helpful, and talkative because that is the front I put on and fooled them.

 

[ladyforsaken]

*raises hand* for the past few days. I'm mostly quite a positive person but I have my moments and I always wonder why it's so hard to keep it up when I've seen some people who can just keep going without being dragged down even on their "off" days. I was feeling a bit tired of trying last night.. or most nights, when I feel the negativity coming out mostly. Some nights I kinda wish I had a jab ready for me to just put me to sleep for the night so I won't think or feel anymore because it tends to just keep you awake.

 

[Case]

I always wonder why it's so hard to keep it up when I've seen some people who can just keep going without being dragged down even on their "off" days.

That's what all my porn-star guy friends say about "work." (bah-dum-bum)
Sorry. I had to. It's a compulsion.

---

Anyway, I am horrible when it comes to hiding how I feel when I don't want to talk about it with friends or co-workers. I only put on a mask if it is absolutely required for me to get through the day.

That saying probably applied to me 20+ years ago more than it does now.
.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I always wonder why it's so hard to keep it up when I've seen some people who can just keep going without being dragged down even on their "off" days.

That's what all my porn-star guy friends say about "work." (bah-dum-bum)
Sorry. I had to. It's a compulsion.

LOL

 

[user 115627]

I don't think I have put up an actual smile for the past 10 years at least, neither at school nor at work. My standard facial expression is empty or focussed - a professional but distant one. I can see how this could be a problem in a profession where one has to deal with customers on a daily basis...guess that's why I chose my trade the way I did. Usually I manage to decipher other peoples' smiles as fake or genuine pretty quick though. I wouldn't mind when others show their real colors for a change for I know it's not all love, peace and harmony everyday. All these brownnosers and whitewashers in corporate life annoy the hell out of me though. Even courtesy has its limits.

 

[Littlesecret]

I'm great at wearing a fake smile, I do it nearly everyday of my life. I can't be sad in front of my family because apparently having emotions means they've done something wrong (so self absorbed), so I paint on a smile till I reach my bedroom, then the mask falls off and try and deal with my issues.
So ******* exhausting trying to push down sadness! As of late, the smile I wear is real, and I would like to keep it that way.

 

[Tiina63]

At this point, it just feels like second nature to me. I do wish there were more people who'd listen to the things in life that aren't roses and rainbows, though.

Same here.

 

[hazel_flagg]

I'm great at wearing a fake smile, I do it nearly everyday of my life. I can't be sad in front of my family because apparently having emotions means they've done something wrong (so self absorbed), so I paint on a smile till I reach my bedroom, then the mask falls off and try and deal with my issues.
So ******* exhausting trying to push down sadness! As of late, the smile I wear is real, and I would like to keep it that way.

God, that sounds like my years at home. And one day I said 'I'm not going to go on about how awful I feel anymore. I'm going to keep it in.' My mother said 'Well good, because you're bringing the rest of us down.'

HELPFUL.

 

[Littlesecret]

I'm great at wearing a fake smile, I do it nearly everyday of my life. I can't be sad in front of my family because apparently having emotions means they've done something wrong (so self absorbed), so I paint on a smile till I reach my bedroom, then the mask falls off and try and deal with my issues.
So ******* exhausting trying to push down sadness! As of late, the smile I wear is real, and I would like to keep it that way.

God, that sounds like my years at home. And one day I said 'I'm not going to go on about how awful I feel anymore. I'm going to keep it in.' My mother said 'Well good, because you're bringing the rest of us down.'

HELPFUL.

I would have not enjoyed that response at all, what did you say back? Whenever I say to my nan I'm unhappy she uses her classic responses 'i don't know what to do, what have I done?' Be a normal human being and ask what's wrong!

 

[hazel_flagg]

I'm great at wearing a fake smile, I do it nearly everyday of my life. I can't be sad in front of my family because apparently having emotions means they've done something wrong (so self absorbed), so I paint on a smile till I reach my bedroom, then the mask falls off and try and deal with my issues.
So ******* exhausting trying to push down sadness! As of late, the smile I wear is real, and I would like to keep it that way.

God, that sounds like my years at home. And one day I said 'I'm not going to go on about how awful I feel anymore. I'm going to keep it in.' My mother said 'Well good, because you're bringing the rest of us down.'

HELPFUL.

I would have not enjoyed that response at all, what did you say back? Whenever I say to my nan I'm unhappy she uses her classic responses 'i don't know what to do, what have I done?' Be a normal human being and ask what's wrong!

No kidding! Them turning it around onto themselves and watching them 'Woe is me' doesn't help.

Thinking back, I don't think I said anything back to her. Growing up with my mother, you weren't allowed to defend yourself otherwise it turned into World War Three. We have a better relationship now that I live in another country.

 

[kirakn]

hey sk66rc...I've been tired of trying for a long time now...At first I thought that faking a smile was just polite, for example when you have to meet people and cant avoid the situation, its rude to greet them with a sad or angry face...

After a long time of effort I realized that I'm faking smiles in all kinds of situations just to avoid making others feel uncomfortable around me...I also didnt want to draw attention to myself...

And suddenly I find myself missing the comfort of being sad...

 

[FPL2014]

Smile when you feel like smiling.
Cry when you feel like crying.
Shout when you feel like shouting.
Dance when you feel like dancing.

Et cetera.

When you do things volentieri, people around you realize it. That's what bothers me the most: falsehood. I do appreciate a truly sincere smile. I puke at the sight of a forced one.

 

[lifestream]

I get tired of trying, sk66rc. Often.

The thing I've learned about faking positive emotions is that most other people we meet are doing it as well, it's just that people like the ones on this forum (people who are sad or lonely at their core), myself included, are a lot better at hiding how we really feel. This can be a curse as well as a blessing, as most people can't tell what we're thinking or feeling much of the time.

I guess you just have to keep trying, hoping that when the good feelings do come they'll be even more precious because you've been on the other side of it.

 

[sk66rc]

At the risk of sounding sadistic, it does make somewhat feel better knowing there are other people out there that feel close to, if not same or worse, as I do... It's only a human nature to feel "weird", for the lack of better expression, once in a while... I guess I just have to remember that & move on... Thanks, everybody...