Long time no post <3
I've spent the night looking up old friends from school in Facebook, or people I cared about once (and thought they cared about me).
I found profiles from people I knew in school, from when i was the age of 6 - 14. They're all grown up now, moving on, having fun, getting the good jobs and the perfect groups of friends and partners...
I've never felt so left behind and alone in my life.
And I did this to myself, I isolated myself from a young age and they forgot about me. I stopped growing up at that stage, i got stuck in the awkward phase and now I can't get out of it. When I see their faces in the pictures, I can't even imagine them "grown up", I still think of them when I last saw them... ugh. They are all like different people now, the quiet ones have photos of their selves in parties, falling over drunk and having amazing times, the loud bitchy ones seem to have grown up and suddenly become sensible, going to top Universities.
I've freaked myself out seeing all of them after all of these years, and they've all grouped up and become one giant circle of friends. And I'm here, without a soul in the world sitting in all night creeping around facebook and looking at photos of people who don't even remember me.
I want so badly to start over. Disappear, become someone new and start over. I wish I had a friend or a boyfriend or anything. Just someone to be there, it pisses me off that no matter how hard i try to get out of this hole, I just fall flat on my face over and over. This **** cycle will never end. In Uni, I meet people but they've all got their own friends. They say hi, then we go our own ways and that's that. They don't need new friends so why should I bother?
I hate Facebook. :/
I've spent the night looking up old friends from school in Facebook, or people I cared about once (and thought they cared about me).
I found profiles from people I knew in school, from when i was the age of 6 - 14. They're all grown up now, moving on, having fun, getting the good jobs and the perfect groups of friends and partners...
I've never felt so left behind and alone in my life.
And I did this to myself, I isolated myself from a young age and they forgot about me. I stopped growing up at that stage, i got stuck in the awkward phase and now I can't get out of it. When I see their faces in the pictures, I can't even imagine them "grown up", I still think of them when I last saw them... ugh. They are all like different people now, the quiet ones have photos of their selves in parties, falling over drunk and having amazing times, the loud bitchy ones seem to have grown up and suddenly become sensible, going to top Universities.
I've freaked myself out seeing all of them after all of these years, and they've all grouped up and become one giant circle of friends. And I'm here, without a soul in the world sitting in all night creeping around facebook and looking at photos of people who don't even remember me.
I want so badly to start over. Disappear, become someone new and start over. I wish I had a friend or a boyfriend or anything. Just someone to be there, it pisses me off that no matter how hard i try to get out of this hole, I just fall flat on my face over and over. This **** cycle will never end. In Uni, I meet people but they've all got their own friends. They say hi, then we go our own ways and that's that. They don't need new friends so why should I bother?
I hate Facebook. :/