Feeling unwanted by your own friends.

[cryingcloud]

i have one really good friend...well i thought i did, she never talks to me unless i talk to her first and she lives like 30 min. away so i dont get to see her a lot, but she always makes time for this other girl and always says how much she loves her and could never be without her.even though, she complains about her allll the freeking time. that makes me feel special. NOT. and also, she posts it on facebook,like why would she do that? its basically rubbing it in my face. :/ my life is hard right now and i dont think a friend is too much to ask for. i dont see why i have a cell phone,noone ever calls me on it. the only time my so called ''friends'' talk to me is if they have no one else to. im not a freeking backup!!! GOSH! if they only new how i feel atm, they wouldnt be leaveing me alone to rot in isolation.

 

[Luna]

Hey, sorry you're feeling so down on this.
Have you thought about talking to your friend on how she is treating you?
I've let go of people where *I* was always the one to have to initiate and put effort - friendship is a two-way street.
I'm not suggesting that you should let her go, but have you thought of meeting new people as well?
It doesn't hurt to open your social circle and hopefully you'll find some new friends that are more appreciative of you.
You're always welcome to talk to us here on the forums of course...

 

[Outlawstarl337]

she never talks to me unless i talk to her first

i under stand this so well I've always been one that feels like you. i put some much of my time effort and feelings into friend ships that never end up going any were. I hate how it feels when i try so hard to get more friends and the only time they ever even care to hang out is when i call them first. they never end up putting time in to try to get me to hang out with them and i'm dreadfully sorry that you have to suffer the same fate i've been having )=

 

[LucieMay]

You will experience many friendships in your life, they come and go. Some will come back to you. Some won't. Some will last forever but most won't. If you think you have explored all avenues to make the friendship work, it is time to move on and put your energies into new people. Some people simply do not put in much effort when it comes to friendships with anyone, it is not always related to you personally.

 

[lonelyfairy]

I know exactly how you feel. I also have one ''friend'' to who I am invisible.

I hope you will get good friend(s), everybody needs at least one.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

I know what you are going through. My former roommate forgets I am around when he gets a girlfriend. I even told him about that flaw, yet he still does it. I am single so I have fallen to the bottom of his friend pool, as I cannot relate to stuff...... I guess. Even worse he faults me when I do not remind him of an anime convention or other events he might want to attend.

I am not sure what to do in either of our situations. Friends are a weird thing. Maybe back off and just be a more casual friend. Keep things simple and fun. If you pour too much on to fast then people get scared.

 

[Unwanted94]

That's what I told my mom... I told her that I don't 'need' a cellphone because no one calls me besides her and I'm not calling anyone either. She told me it's for safety, so I agreed. I think cell phones are a bit overhyped, but can be very useful in many situations. When I used to have 'friends', I felt unwanted many times. I tend to feel more unwanted when I'm around others than when I'm alone. It's strange. Maybe it's a sign that some of us need to get out more or something? Loneliness is a very perplex and complex journey. It really is,and I don't think any of us on this dark road will ever be able to full understand it.

I only have 1 friend that I talk to (via the telephone) and he lives over a million miles away, but we talk almost everyday. Only problem is...I'm so insecure in this friendship because I've had friends like this before,and they just disappear. One friend that I met online went to college and Ive never heard from him since. You just have to learn not to get so attached to people. I think a huge problem with The lonely road is trust issues,being clingy,insecurity, and even having too many high expectations. I think sometimes we're really our own worst enemy. We probably create problems that aren't even there. I swear, I think isolation can make one become delusional...

 

[Arsenic Queen]

Someone recently promised me they would always be my friend, no matter what. It's already gone.

 

[Nolife Princess]

People not wanting to be friends, or make friendships with others, can be for many reasons. But one reason folks seem to forget about is:
Jealously.... or feeling threatened... They themselves are to insecure to be friends with (insert your name here) because they are jealous, and feel they cant stand up to what (You are) What I mean is, Example.
If you are popular- then the potential friend will avoid you, talk about you, put you down, all out of jealously because they feel intimidated by you.

Or if you are a good singer, OR artist, OR dancer, OR history major, OR ... you have longer hair, OR you dress better... get my point? ppl are always going to be jealous... and when folks are jealous, they are intimidated , and avoid the one that intimidates them.

So actually it is not you they do not like... they admire you, and probably wish they could be like you.. but flee from you out of the frustration they they will never be you.

So, that being said... be a positive thinker.. move on in what you love. find people who are like minded.. and confident in them selves.. and you will be able to make friendships that are on the same level. and equel amount of respect for each other.. and not all this one sided, two faced bologna .. I am your friend when it is convenience for me, that is crap... you are special.. and know it, walk it, be it, and screw those who do not or cannot handle it.

*hugs*

 

[Jacob]

You will experience many friendships in your life, they come and go. Some will come back to you. Some won't. Some will last forever but most won't. If you think you have explored all avenues to make the friendship work, it is time to move on and put your energies into new people. Some people simply do not put in much effort when it comes to friendships with anyone, it is not always related to you personally.

This has happened to me a lot and I know that it is going to happen to me again! I know exactly how you feel. Like Lucie said "it is time to move on and put your energies into new people.

 

[jjam]

Someone recently promised me they would always be my friend, no matter what. It's already gone.

How did that happen?

And I guess I'd like to know what you guys/gals think of this.

When a friend does not initiate gestures of friendship, such as initiating contact or a plan to spend time, does it always mean they don't care? Or does it mean they lack the strength (for whatever reason) to put forth the kind of effort that would convince you that they remain genuinely interested in being friends with you? And IF the latter, why does the friendship need to end if you have the strength to put forth those efforts? If you blame them for being distant, are you any better once you turn around and reciprocate that behavior? Perhaps you are even worse, for you DO have the strength to behave otherwise but CHOOSE to walk away, whereas the other may have it a zillion times easier at attracting people who'd like to be their friend but a zillion times worse at showing someone their capacity to SHOW love and plain old interest in a true friendship.