Revanchist
Active member
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2014
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Hey guys, so these past few days I've been chatting with a person, and there is something that sort of slapped me in the face and reminded me of an issue many people have. I just want to make this issue open and public so you can hopefully gain from my experience 
Here's the problem.
Depression is easy.
Yep. There is nothing easier than giving up. I went through the "depression" and later on, upon talking to the school councelor, i learned that I was in fact NOT depressed. She told me directly that depression is like...something serious. Something messed up, like its nothing to joke about. People take meds for it etc.etc. and then I discovered at that moment, that I was nothing more...but a little *****. Yeah i mean hear me out.
I used to lay in bed and cry at times, thinking oh i wish i had more friends. Or perhaps someone to love, and then it dawned on me...***** nobody can hear you. I noticed this with closer friends, they tend to moan and complain hoping someone will hear them and come and say...hey...i wanna marry you or something.
That isn't gonna happen. People aren't attracted to sad people. The only kind of people you'll get from that is people who look down on you and want to help you. They take pity and try to help. Its not a bad thing, its called friendship. People who help you out. But you cannot expect strangers to come and give you everything you need. Its not very attractive to introduce yourself to strangers in a negative mannor.
Even if you think badly about yourself a little, you should never talk to others in a tone that is disrespectful to you. They might correct you and help but if you keep doing it they'll give up.
Just think of this. Would you sooner be attracted to a person who rejects every compliment, and drowns in self pity, or a person who smiles to your compliments, returns some and spreads an aura of relaxation?
You should open your social problems to closer people, but if you really feel like you have a problem, don't expect to use it to get a partner. You can use it to get friends, like on this site.
I noticed self destructive behavior with many people online. This forum is an exception because you open yourself here, but i mean social networks. So i was on this one site and this person shared about how sad they were. Then someone commented about how they should keep their chin up etc.etc. So i thought, hey...this guy isn't that bad. I mean he feels down but he'll get better with support. Then I click below and see that on every positive comment he got, he responded with something like " Oh i don't think so...or...no im not, im ugly". In that very moment i instantly got pushed away. Why should I bother helping someone who doesn't want to be helped? This is a stranger. I'd rather help out a friend.
It is selfish somewhat, but hear me out. Every time you apporoach someone in such a fashion, they will think the same thing. You're a stranger, they don't owe anything to you and they won't help you unless you ask for it. It comes off as attention seeking and fake.
::::
I'm just trying to say that nobody will come with magic words that will mend your heart. I don't care what age you are, you need to start feeling good in your skin so that others may feel that goodness and be attracted to it. Then common people will be friendlier because its so much easier to breathe around a person who is friendly.
You'll surely meet bastards who don't give a crap about you, and them you should avoid. But nobody wins the first time. You gotta keep trying. Change your tactics.
This was sort of a long post that just explains a perspective, but its something i noticed on people. As a matter of fact there was this guy i kinda liked online and now i got really put down when he said he had social problems. I mean I'll help him and ill be a friend for him, but that romantic image faded because personally I want someone who will make me smile, not constantly laugh at everything I say. So I'll be his friend but hardly anything more.
Here's the problem.
Depression is easy.
Yep. There is nothing easier than giving up. I went through the "depression" and later on, upon talking to the school councelor, i learned that I was in fact NOT depressed. She told me directly that depression is like...something serious. Something messed up, like its nothing to joke about. People take meds for it etc.etc. and then I discovered at that moment, that I was nothing more...but a little *****. Yeah i mean hear me out.
I used to lay in bed and cry at times, thinking oh i wish i had more friends. Or perhaps someone to love, and then it dawned on me...***** nobody can hear you. I noticed this with closer friends, they tend to moan and complain hoping someone will hear them and come and say...hey...i wanna marry you or something.
That isn't gonna happen. People aren't attracted to sad people. The only kind of people you'll get from that is people who look down on you and want to help you. They take pity and try to help. Its not a bad thing, its called friendship. People who help you out. But you cannot expect strangers to come and give you everything you need. Its not very attractive to introduce yourself to strangers in a negative mannor.
Even if you think badly about yourself a little, you should never talk to others in a tone that is disrespectful to you. They might correct you and help but if you keep doing it they'll give up.
Just think of this. Would you sooner be attracted to a person who rejects every compliment, and drowns in self pity, or a person who smiles to your compliments, returns some and spreads an aura of relaxation?
You should open your social problems to closer people, but if you really feel like you have a problem, don't expect to use it to get a partner. You can use it to get friends, like on this site.
I noticed self destructive behavior with many people online. This forum is an exception because you open yourself here, but i mean social networks. So i was on this one site and this person shared about how sad they were. Then someone commented about how they should keep their chin up etc.etc. So i thought, hey...this guy isn't that bad. I mean he feels down but he'll get better with support. Then I click below and see that on every positive comment he got, he responded with something like " Oh i don't think so...or...no im not, im ugly". In that very moment i instantly got pushed away. Why should I bother helping someone who doesn't want to be helped? This is a stranger. I'd rather help out a friend.
It is selfish somewhat, but hear me out. Every time you apporoach someone in such a fashion, they will think the same thing. You're a stranger, they don't owe anything to you and they won't help you unless you ask for it. It comes off as attention seeking and fake.
::::
I'm just trying to say that nobody will come with magic words that will mend your heart. I don't care what age you are, you need to start feeling good in your skin so that others may feel that goodness and be attracted to it. Then common people will be friendlier because its so much easier to breathe around a person who is friendly.
You'll surely meet bastards who don't give a crap about you, and them you should avoid. But nobody wins the first time. You gotta keep trying. Change your tactics.
This was sort of a long post that just explains a perspective, but its something i noticed on people. As a matter of fact there was this guy i kinda liked online and now i got really put down when he said he had social problems. I mean I'll help him and ill be a friend for him, but that romantic image faded because personally I want someone who will make me smile, not constantly laugh at everything I say. So I'll be his friend but hardly anything more.
