Found a penpal but screwed up

[Hawx79]

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

Every time I suggest where her she could find a partner, she comes up with a problem. Like dating agencies are full of scammer men, dating sites is not for her, men in her neighboring regions live in too cold climate and all married and she wants to live somewhere warm while other times she said she always wants to live near her mother where she is now!
When I tell her if we could meet, she tells me that she maybe will not like me in person.
She sends me messages when she wakes up, at her work and when she is ready to sleep.
I will try to wave her off now by telling her I'm busy at the moment.

 

[kamya]

Must. Fight. Cynical. Thoughts.

Yeah this is a tough one. Good luck.

 

[Menorahman]

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

Every time I suggest where her she could find a partner, she comes up with a problem.

Sounds pretty similar to everyone here telling you to move on, and then you keep on indulging anyway.

The funny thing is, and what many guys don't understand, is that you have more of a chance with a girl if you STOP TALKING TO HER.

 

[Sci-Fi]

If someone makes you miserable, then you know perhaps you shouldn't put up with that. You certainly don't have to, but I can understand how you'd look over that for a friendship.

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

I have to agree. I don't mind talking to anybody really, but when people start to sound like a broken record, it gets tiring.

Agreed, a person can only take so much before you have to walk away. Been in that position so many times, feeling like you are the "wet blanket" and nothing ever changes. No matter what you do, no matter how supportive you try to be, no matter what you try to help people with it gets you nowhere. It's a strain on you mentally and even though you may not want to sometimes you just have to give up for your own health.

Are you expecting more from this friendship or is it just a friendship?

 

[Hawx79]

If someone makes you miserable, then you know perhaps you shouldn't put up with that. You certainly don't have to, but I can understand how you'd look over that for a friendship.

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

I have to agree. I don't mind talking to anybody really, but when people start to sound like a broken record, it gets tiring.

Are you expecting more from this friendship or is it just a friendship?

I have a catch 22 on my hand. When she sends me messages and asks what I'm doing and how my day was, lightens my loneliness a lot. But at times she also makes me sad and takes away my valuable time, better spend on improving myself.

 

[Jenni509]

If someone makes you miserable, then you know perhaps you shouldn't put up with that. You certainly don't have to, but I can understand how you'd look over that for a friendship.

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

I have to agree. I don't mind talking to anybody really, but when people start to sound like a broken record, it gets tiring.

Are you expecting more from this friendship or is it just a friendship?

I have a catch 22 on my hand. When she sends me messages and asks what I'm doing and how my day was, lightens my loneliness a lot. But at times she also makes me sad and takes away my valuable time, better spend on improving myself.

She is lucky to have someone that is so into her and you are lucky to have someone to ease your loneliness if only even a little. It's clear you both have different goals pertaining to each other so it might help to view her as just a friend and keep that connection (it sounds like it's a hard one to let go of) while you continue to look for the right one.

 

[Hawx79]

If someone makes you miserable, then you know perhaps you shouldn't put up with that. You certainly don't have to, but I can understand how you'd look over that for a friendship.

She sounds like she is unwilling to change or take a risk and finds comfort in whining about her misery that she perpetuates by her inertia.

I have to agree. I don't mind talking to anybody really, but when people start to sound like a broken record, it gets tiring.

Are you expecting more from this friendship or is it just a friendship?

I have a catch 22 on my hand. When she sends me messages and asks what I'm doing and how my day was, lightens my loneliness a lot. But at times she also makes me sad and takes away my valuable time, better spend on improving myself.

She is lucky to have someone that is so into her and you are lucky to have someone to ease your loneliness if only even a little. It's clear you both have different goals pertaining to each other so it might help to view her as just a friend and keep that connection (it sounds like it's a hard one to let go of) while you continue to look for the right one.

Yeah that is spot on. I'll continue and see where it lead, but it stings to remain just friends with her while she know I would want more then that.

 

[Menorahman]

In this sense, women are smarter than men.

Men will continue to bash their head into a wall and wonder why their headache isn't going away.

You're only a victim if you let yourself be.