Have you ever spoken to psychologist?

[AlexChristy]

There is a lot of people who feel alone here. And the easiest way is to go to psychologist.
Have you ever spoken to psychologist about your loneliness? Do you think, it is a good way to express yourself to a doctor?

 

[Bocephus]

I've spoken with psychologists before. Didn't get much out of it. I think it depends on the individual. Different things work for different people. The goal is to get well. Whatever the method. If it works, then it's all good.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Nope and nope. Probably should though but finding the right one would be difficult. I wouldn't want to go see someone who treats me like a text book case.

 

[Amethyst]

Nope and nope. Probably should though but finding the right one would be difficult. I wouldn't want to go see someone who treats me like a text book case.

I agree with you there, Sci-Fi. I personally do not want to see a sociologist who treats me like a text book case. With been a carer for my son, I have found the search for someone with life experience and empathy, is like looking for a needle in a hay stack!

 

[Seeker]

I'm too aware of the fact that that the only reason he would listen to me was because I would be paying him to go to one. It's the same reason I never even thought of going to prostitutes. Paid advice and paid sex are just that, paid, no real interest involved.

 

[Mr.YellowCat]

I disagree with two of you, Seeker and Sci-Fi, talking about text-book case approach, and the detachment of one because of the money.
I believe that this is not how it works. I believe that there are tons of psychologist that became who they are out of need to help people, that want to help them. There is many people, not only psychologists that care about people even if then see them for the first time. Heck, some people care about people they have never seen. I, for instance, feel often for people in here, that I have never spoken to, just read their stories, or temporary problems. And just like that, there is tons of people in the psychology realm that deeply care for those who seek them, and want them to help. I dont believe they are like "lets get his honeysuckle with this dumbass over with so I can get paid".
Of course, there are many people who are psychologist, and some are like that, and some are like that. They are different as well.
And try to understand their position. Two things mostly, the money thing, and the detachment thing. Money..They have to feed their family, right? I know it may create the barrier between patient/costumer and them, but this is how the world work. People need to get paid. There is no going around it. Maybe if we lived in a money-free world, they would still be psychologist. I believe they would most likely be psychologists. And that is because if they were into it for money, why the heck would they have chosen psychology to study? That is not that lucrative area. Its a nice well paid job I guess, but they could have chosen something more lucrative. That leads me to a conclusion that they chosen their school because they wanted to help, because they feel compassionate towards people, and want them to feel better.
And the second, the detachment. I heard that the burn-out syndrome (or something like that, I will explain) is quite common among them. That is because of they feel close to the people they see and try to help. When they do bad, they feel bad for them, and feel bad for not being able to help them. It often is a reason for depression among psychologists, as well as other negative things. If you were a wife, husband, of a psychologist, would you urge him to feel attached to patients, or rather to try to be detached, not to get burned himself/herself? Its not easy.
The thing is, that they protect themselves. Not that they dont care. They are in extremely vulnerable position, please, try to realize that. Analogy may be that people say that you may not depend on finding bf/gf for you to get better. Its not wrong, of course. And that is the same thing that psychologists may want. To be detached from you because of you, for you to find the solutions in your life, and not them to do it, as you would depend on them. If you started to feel as his friend, as it may happen, he would have thousand friends (a joke...kinda). He/She needs you to help your life. But it cant be him/her to it for you. I feel they need to be like this for themselves by a large part...And for you as well.

I think its wrong to think so negatively of them as you two did. I think they deserve our great respect for being there for us, becoming who they are for us to get better, for them to be able to help us. And they did help a lot of people. Many psychologists are great great people, that we should be thankful for that they may be in our lives to make them better. We cant think of them as an unemotional unliving object. They are people as well. They feel as well, they want to live as well. They may not be our friends I guess. But that doesnt mean they are bad, detached from all. They are to us who they are. And for friends of their they are someone else, although the same person.
I´m thankful for them, that they are there to help those who seek help.
I hope you will reconsider your stand point at least a little bit based on what I wrote. You dont have to of course.



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To the OP question.
No.
Would be a waste of his/her time, to spend it on me.
That is why I´m here, to cope with my loneliness some other way

 

[Rosebolt]

Been in therapy for three years. Forum helped me in about 4 days.

Draw your conclusions.

 

[9006]

No, but sometimes I wonder if I need to.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Yes, I have one right now.

 

[constant stranger]

Yes, I was in therapy for about three years in my mid twenties. No real issues were resolved for me but I'm still glad I invested the time and commitment to it.....the relationship with the therapist was key. It was a special relationship and we were embarked on a journey together, the journey being my self discovery and learning the many skills of controlling my own life.

Look, as to the paying a fee thing, here's how I see it: a dialogue with a therapist is a lot like a dialogue with a close friend, however with a friend the issue of reciprocity comes into play......fairness implies the focus ricochet back and forth between the two. A therapeutic relationship is by definition, a one way thing insofar as it's the client's well being at stake....So the reciprocity part is taken care of by the paying of the fee.

In my case, the lady and I became friends and saw one another outside of the therapeutic chamber. A forbidden thing among some schools of thought, however her brand of therapy was very personal; it was OK with her and me so eff the rules. BTW, a ground rule was that during personal time, no therapeutic issues were spoken of.....kind of a tricky judgment call because the dividing line between personal and therapeutic can become blurred.

If anyone cared about my advice, I'd urge them to search for references in choosing a shrink. A personal M.D. might be a good place to start. If one's friends have been in therapy, listen to their reports.
An effective therapy is contingent on a good relationship between client and counselor.....right shrink for the right counselee.....ironic when one considers the venue of this forum.

 

[Batman55]

I wouldn't bother with any the-rapist

 

[Snoopy]

Hi I am snoopy I HATE mornings,
I am looking to make some friends I am fairly new to this stuff and not ver good at it,
I like art films tv my iPad comedy old buildings people think I am funny I think I am a bit bonkers in a funny way

 

[TheWalkingDead]

There's a bit of a difference between a psychologist and other kinds of therapists, but maybe the difference is more pronounced in the UK.

I started seeing a counsellor about 5 years ago after some major bereavements happened to me, to say it was a transformative experience would be an understatement.

My confidence increased, my self esteem grew, and I stopped chasing after the wrong kind of people and relationships and found ones that mattered and meant more.

Of course it can't remove feelings of loneliness altogether, to some extent I think that's an existential issue we all face and have to find our own way to deal with - but it can help you stop trying to cover up that loneliness in the wrong ways (for me it was always mainly alcohol, I rarely drink at all these days) and find some self acceptance (people pleasing used to be a real issue for me, but not any more!).

You could argue that they only care because you're paying them, but a lot of therapists work as volunteers, and have put in the work and paid for training because they care about people. Of course they need to have boundaries, they can't become your friend, but I believe the care they show is real most of the time - some are better than others, I was lucky to find a really good one who I still see occasionally

 

[lonelyfairy]

Yes, many times... I am not sure does it help, though.

 

[Aisha]

Psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors. Not always as a patient. Very mixed bag of thoughts when it comes to them in general because of the variation I've seen and their different approaches.

 

[el Jay]

Been to a therapist, and she was somewhat helpful, although I was pretty much at my worst at that point in my life, so making progress was as easy as it would ever be. Unfortunately she then had to move away just short of a year later, and I had to find someone else. I didn't, though (my own choice) and went without. She's actually what got me back to college (albeit for just one class the year after I saw her), and from there I went to finish a BS in Biology.

Then I went to a psychologist a few years later, and he was somewhat helpful, I guess. I never felt like I benefited much though, and stopped seeing him a few months later. He wasn't bad or anything, but I just don't think he was the right fit. But I'm also not sure anymore what I would even hope to get out of a psychologist. They aren't going to be able to magically fix my problems, and short of that, I don't really see it helping much. I suppose I may give it another try at some point (since my mom has always been willing to pay for it, if I don't have insurance), but I just don't know.