Sci-Fi said:
Your family might have abandoned you because they don't know what else to do. I doubt you make it easy on them either, as teenagers we can be very resentful, moody, and just pains in the butt. Have you ever told them "You don't understand me"? You do have access to therapy, a lot of communities have outreach programs for teenagers, your school might have them too. All you have to do is ask.
To me, the first thing you need to start working on is this self forgiveness issue you have. Whatever it is, you have to get over it, we all screw up and do things we regret. You obviously realize that there is something you've done/do and that is a good thing. We make mistakes, we learn from them. One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Batman Begins, when Bruce Wayne is a little kid and his father asks him, "Why do we fall? So that we can learn to pick ourselves back up."
Hi Sci-Fi,
Seriph is my younger brother. I know a great deal about his personal story and he has gone through quite a lot. He has never done anything against his parents but seek love from them. We have the same mom, but his dad is my stepdad.
His dad is an alcoholic, abusive person. He most likely hates himself, which is why he took it out on my brother and I. Our mom has been abused for several years by my stepdad and isnt really "there". They have hardly provided him anything at all. He has no cell phone or car and isn't even allowed to go to church. He's not permitted to have a social life, because his father is worried about him revealing the truth to others. They've taken him to several psychologists, but once they learned that Matthew was telling them the truth about his parents, they took him away and wouldn't let him go back. Now they won't take him to a doctor at all because they're afraid the truth of their abuse will come to light.
Seriph's parents won't provide him with food or clothing and I've personally had to take care of him as best as I can. I'm just his brother, but I've basically had to be a provider for him. I'm the only one who will drive him to youth group at church, or take him places.
I can vouch for Seriph. He isn't the typical spoiled, rebellious teenager. He's a loving, respectful person who has only ever been rewarded with hate. His father has called him several destructive names and has abused him sexually as well. Seriph has been through more than a lot of adults have and was pretty much robbed of a childhood.
I think maybe if he wrote his entire story on here, members might really get a picture into his mind. He's a good person suffering from years of extreme abuse. I hope he can find healing. His self-forgiveness issue is a result of abuse. He is trying to understand why his parents would treat him this way as they really have no reason to. Because he's been treated so badly, it's a natural psychological reaction for him to feel guilty or ashamed of himself. He blames himself for things because it's the only way he can rationalize their behavior towards him.
Thanks for trying to help him. I thought I'd post to give a bigger picture of his background. If you'd like to see into the situation further, you could read my story. I've been through a lot of the same stuff that he has...abuse from my stepfather. The link to my story is in my profile.