Hi - and thanks to everyone on here

[monkeysocks]

HI

I live in the UK and first came across this forum in July When I was virtually clinically depressed, after spending a month without seeing a soul.

It was the final nail in my emotional coffin as after finding myself homeless twice in the space of 3 months (neither at any fault of my own) I was forced to buy a caravan miles away from anyone I knew.

It was very hard to deal with because basically my whole life had been destroyed by a swindler and then immediately after a cowboy boat builder who wrecked my canal boat (which was my new home).

So I was sitting in a caravan and to be honest it might as well have been on the moon.

I didn't have anyone to talk to, no job and didn't know anyone. Going into town was a No go as I found it all too upsetting seeing everyone else getting on with their lives and I had nothing and no one and didn't even know anyone to say hello to.

But after reading the posts and identifying with many of the experiences and feelings expressed on here really helped me to see that it didn't just happen to me or was even my fault I was alone.

Ending up alone isolated was always my greatest fear, so bad I hated the 'elenor rigby' song all my life and every time I heard it I would turn it off.

But within days of reading your posts on here I took the first step - went into town and sat in Macdonalds saying to myself 'it will all be ok'.

I know that sounds a crazy thing to call an achievement, but if you knew how upsetting it was to go through all that to face my greatest fear at the end of it - it was like climbing Everest to me.

What I began to realise is no matter what life throws at you, or takes away, if you look at your life or what you do have as 'the bottle half full instead of half empty'.

So thanks, I am now really getting stronger and optimistic and I hope that I can give something back

 

[Barbaloot]

Hello. I am glad the forum has helped you so much.

 

[monkeysocks]

Thank you, it did and lit a little light bulb in my head of positivity when I couldn't find any. I didn't come on at the time because I couldn't think straight at all.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hey monkeysocks, welcome to the forum.

I'm glad you're looking at things positively. It really helps you feel better in life and I personally think it's less effort lol compared to feeling negative and all worked up. Life is good, it's just that some of the people in it suck. So yes, keep it up! You've got my support. *hugs*

 

[harmony]

Thanks for your post it really touched me as I've got massive money worries at present, although my situation is very different to yours. It's good to hear you managed to find that bit of positivity to walk into town and trust you have something to give. I know that's far from easy. Maybe losing so much can make what you do have easier to see and appreciate. That's certainly been the case for me.

 

[monkeysocks]

Thanks you all for your welcoming replies and I agree 'yes life is good' if we don't close our minds to the fact that it still is.

Its a shame that we are a species of both sharks and dolphins. However in my circumstances, I equally blame the antiquated laws of this country for making it so easy for the cowboys to get away with it. But enough said about that !

I realise now that viewing it like I was an 'undeserved victim' was not doing me any favours, in fact it was making me ill and preventing me from looking at how to find the answers to resolve the problems or truly accepting my new situation.

It was a great point that it takes less effort to be positive and looking back drawing on the negative is **** exhausting !

its still no fairy tale, but I won't allow my mind to dwell for too long, because if I do I entrap the situation as purely negative and ruin the good things, instead of looking at ways to better my new life.

Don't get me wrong, its not easy and takes a lot of self discipline and I have the odd 'pity party' moment.

Very true Harmony - I also appreciate what I have instead of taking it for granted. There was a point when I got down to my last loaf of bread and didn't have any money. A horrendous shock for someone who had always had a full fridge and a full bank balance. I suddenly felt ashamed of all the times I had jumped in a taxi when I could have caught a bus or had purchased that outfit that I didn't really need.

There is an old saying

''ruin a man - give him a million pounds,
Make a man - take everything away from him''

I know it sounds crazy but I have learned more by going through the latter of those two scenarios and that is priceless.

 

[MissGuided]

Hey there and welcome to ALL.

 

[Bei]

Welcome!

 

[MissyEchelon]

Hi there, i really identified with your first post, as in the past i've found myself in a lot of similar circumstances.
Virtually homeless and terrified of what's gonna happen to you, jobless, no money, and seemingly without any future prospects, living alone in your own home and not seeing anyone for a whole month (this literally happened to me also, darkest time in my life and i'll never forget it) but there's only one place to go from rock bottom, and that's back up again.
It really can take quite some time, but it's those little successes and achievements you should aim for and celebrate.
I'd love to get to know you so say hey sometime!
Welcome, also

 

[dead]

Hey Monkeysocks - great usename by the way.


Eh, losing your home sounds terrible... I can't say that i know how it feels - and i don't want to find out. Just going to wish that you get out of this situation as soon and as easily as possible - and start building your life again. (sounds like you are on your way there )

 

[monkeysocks]

Hey Monkeysocks - great usename by the way.


Eh, losing your home sounds terrible... I can't say that i know how it feels - and i don't want to find out. Just going to wish that you get out of this situation as soon and as easily as possible - and start building your life again. (sounds like you are on your way there )

Thank you - I am fine now but that is a situation I never wish to find myself in again.