How do I have a breakdown?

[Fvantom]

thanks, but the best way I can describe it is this. My emotions have become weak over the years, all except for pain, which is now my dominant emotion and pretty much dictates how and when I feel any of the others. I need to break down not because I want to bottle things up, which I dont, its because I need to let everything out that pain has brought upon me, I feel like this will start the process of restoring my other emotions.

 

[In a lonely place]

@In A Lonely Place - that is pretty much me to a tee except I'm a lot older (37)

Thanks for posting that reply. I just hope I can get the help I need before it's too late/things get any worse.

I wish you well.

 

[HC22]

Tell someone you trust everything that has brought you pain over the years, let it all out, I think it will make you feel better.

It feels like you need a little revolution in your life, something that will make you change the way you perceive things.
Reading the message of Jesus really helped me, now I know what true happiness is, I hope you'll decide to read the Gospel too.

Good luck

 

[Fvantom]

thanks but no thanks, my revolution will come from within me, not from an outside source or religion

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The 12 steps consist of this. Letting go of emotional and mental baggages.
Step 4 and 5.
I journal and talk to people as suggested..ect
Just my experince....
As a teenager I was nevered allowed to cried. I stuffed my emotions or numb out.
The way I was raised. The beliefs of Girls dont get angery, boys dont cry.
"Sit down and STFU". " if you cry, I'll give something to cry about"

My HS GF died and I never shaded a tear for her.
My parents or friends never took the time to talk to me about how I felt for her.
I had to behave, act right and keep myself together.
Maintain my social life, go to school, go to work...ect. ect.
I bascailly got stone or party to numb out my pains.

Even years later after my deviorce and my break up with Chloe.
I just party all the time. Fun..fun fun. I was on a run.
Most people thought I was doing great.
I was young...22 or 23 at that time.
A great job, money to burn, fancy cars, nice house...ect.
Looking good on the outside and all messed up on the inside.

Plus I was also ex milatary. Being a man or a tough guy mentality.
I also took on a role or have an image of a badboy.
A Strong man or badboy dont cry.

The guilt, the shame, the hurt, the anger, ..ect I burried it.
It got really bad at the end. I felt so much pains...but I had to numb out
to function. I was bascially drunk or high 24/7. Yes, even at work.
Getting clean and sober was painful for me....I resorted back to burrying my emotions
as a child before drugs and alcohol was avaliable to me.
4 months into my recovery....I had a totally melt down.
I nevered worked the steps...I just couldnt keep it in anymore.

Ive been using the sedona methdoe to help me let go.
I listen to it on my mp3 player.
The intructor is like a guide.
I find it easier to let go then working the 12 steps.
Its not religious.
Yes, sometimes hot tears flows out of me, depending on what I'm going
through or letting go of. I do it at my own pace. In a comfortable safe enviorment.

I've also been listen to meditations software. This also helps me.
Its the same technique that therapist use.
Forgivness, letting go, grieving, guilt, moving with your life...ect..ect

The deal and feel today. I dont stuff my emotions.
I also dont suffer from depression.
Im emotionally stable for the most part.
Yes i also feel veriety of other emtions today.

The 12 steps, sedona methdoe, 7 habits of successful people and various other source
will go into details of letting go of OLD IDEAS and UNWORKABLE beliefs.....such as men dont cry.
Beliefs has nothing to do with religion. Beliefs are ideas put into our heads that we run with.
There are pleanty of ideas ingrained in our heads that no longer serve us nor served us to begin with.
They might serve other people such as our parents, teachers, peers, society...ect.
Change your thinking change your life. We need to weed out what works for us and not for us.
Beliefs are the CUASE. Our actions are the effects.

And example of changing my actions or behaviors first that got me nowhere or worked against me.
I freaken behaved as a child...I act right, did right..ect Its serves my parents but it tunred me into a loonatic. (LOVE EARNING)
We carry these behaviors and ideas into relationships. Hence controll issues.
" If you dont act this way or the way I want you to behave...YOU DONT LOVE ME " or I will withhold my love and approval from you.
Emotional manipulations through guilt.

Intuitively you already know what you need to do for what is right for you.
Nothing wrong with having a breakdown as you already know.
You also intuitively know it's a break through....

ALLOWING MYSELF had always been the key thing for me to get beyound the edge.
Surrender to my breakdown or a welcoming of my break down or Embracing my break down.

In so many ways it's letting go into letting go.

A leap of faith kind of thing.
I just jump off the mother fucken cliff or edge.

For some people it's like a piece meal process. For others it's like a flood gate.
Do whats right for you.