how many people thought of ending ur own life?

[BadGuy]

I have thought about it
I worry that I know how to make sure it happens

 

[Estrus]

Many times, mostly due to depression and feeling like I'm in pain. Just don't feel like dealing with it anymore. My family is probably the main reason I haven't shot myself in the head. Can't let my enemies win either. But sometimes I worry that one day I'm going to snap, not give a sh** and just do it.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

Many, many times. I came very close to doing it three times since November. I'll be honest, I don't know WHAT stopped me. Maybe because I've been daydreaming so long about things getting better, meeting people who actually like me, bumping into a beautiful girl and falling in love, stuff like that, that it's become near impossible to let false hopes go. But, mostly just being afraid. I know there's nothing on the other side, but what IS nothing? Ending my entire existence. That's a concept so alien to me, so scary. And even if there is an afterlife... the, I guess what you'd call "spiritual" things I've experienced that have been more than just self-delusion... let's just say I'm not going any place good. Also, lack of means. All I had was a knife. I hate the idea of dying so painfully and horribly. And partly knowing that it would ruin my mother's life, and really hurt the only good friend I have left, who might never even find out I died because she lives halfway across the world. So I just ended up spending hours (4 or 5) in bed crying, listening to music on my phone.

 

[cyrano]

I tried to hang myself in a park when I was 21; what stopped me was that the branch broke. Tree was rotting from the inside, an apt metaphor for my situation. That was close to bottom for me; I'm still not sure I'm glad I survived, some years later, and I know I will not let this body and mind live until they're no longer functional. There are days when my upper body pain moves that day forward, and every time my memory doesn't work quite as well as I wish it would, I wonder if I'm losing it there too. I feel like I've got people fooled; I look healthy and even strong, and make my living with my mind. There are a few things that I look forward to in the near and middle term, so no plans to catch the bus yet.

 

[BadgeFTW]

We all think of suicide it is a natural "what if" scenario. What has stopped me was myself, i think suicide is just, stupid, for lack of a better word.

 

[netflixonfridaynight]

I tried to kill my self at 17 and it was a failure. Nothing stopped me besides my luck. It's like that saying, don't make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. What ever is making you feel like that will pass, you just need to find a different way to cope with whatever your going through. For instance I'm finding comfort in just sharing my problems online and getting advice from all over the world, helps me realize that others can relate to my experiences opens up my eyes that I'm not the only one feeling like honeysuckle.

 

[BadGuy]

I tried to kill my self at 17 and it was a failure. Nothing stopped me besides my luck. It's like that saying, don't make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. What ever is making you feel like that will pass, you just need to find a different way to cope with whatever your going through. For instance I'm finding comfort in just sharing my problems online and getting advice from all over the world, helps me realize that others can relate to my experiences opens up my eyes that I'm not the only one feeling like honeysuckle.

your right ...your not the only one !!

 

[handheart]

Wel just think that in this world whe are paralized thy have HIV cancer are blind and many other bad things .And they want to live .So just think about it why you must kill yourself ?

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

Wel just think that in this world whe are paralized thy have HIV cancer are blind and many other bad things .And they want to live .So just think about it why you must kill yourself ?

Because when I am suicidal, I still suck. It doesn't matter who has it worse, I only see who has it better. And I only see that people will be better without me.

 

[Lacrecia]

Wel just think that in this world whe are paralized thy have HIV cancer are blind and many other bad things .And they want to live .So just think about it why you must kill yourself ?

being sick is not really a factor to distinguish who wants to live or who dont. sometimes, one does not really want to live, but they still persevere and try to overcome their desire to die.

 

[Lacrecia]

Because when I am suicidal, I still suck. It doesn't matter who has it worse, I only see who has it better. And I only see that people will be better without me.

Just see me and let's be suicidal together while cuddling (wary)

 

[mari1969]

I think all the time that suicide is my only way to stop the pain of being alone but i dont make the click yet, i mean that im not very near about it, i think in different methods and i dont feel good with them.
By the other side i still having a little hope of have someone to love, share and care and recive the same. Life is nothing if you think in the inmensity of the universe, in the million years the we will be sleeping or being nothing.

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I've come close at least once a week lately. Two days ago, I would have if I had the means.

 

[Dawn Jellyfish]

I think about suicide almost constantly.
For me, it's not due to depression, but rather anxiety, so it's not serious contemplation, just a recurring thought.
Everything stresses me out, and everything worries me and I keep thinking "This is literally the only way out".

Of course, it's the anxiety that keeps me from seriously thinking about it because I'm like, "omg, my family will be hurt, who will take care of the dog, jeez what if there really is something after death and it's more of the same".
But then the idea of "You can always die" is the main thing that comforts me and helps me deal with my anxiety.

It's kind of messed up to think how all my mental problems are the source of my greatest virtues (i.e. my depression leads me to not caring about anything unless it really makes me feel better or fixes something, which helps me keep my priorities in line... my anxiety makes me meticulous and prevents me from being careless or missing something)...

 

[Everydaystruggle33]

I have thought about ending my life on several occasions at one point in my life it was all I thought about. My family and fear of the unknown.

 

[saxzman]

I am thinking about it i have had to fight my whole life nothing has ever come easy to me and now im facing 2 huge obstacles. I am a professional musician and thats how i make my living. First I have CML which is a bad condition and i will probably have to rake tge medication im on the rest of my life and second I have a torn slap 2 tear in my labrum in my left shoulder. I am in pain everytime I play and it will require surgery to fix which i dont have the money for. I had a really nice body which was the only way I had ANY self esteem ,because im nothing to look at. I cant even look at myself in the mirror anymore and i take showers with the lights off so i dont have to see myself. Im shrinking more and more everyday and the body I worked so hard to get is going away and there is NOTHING i can do about it. How I use to deal with stress is to workout now thats gone!!!!!!! Today on top of all of this I lost my brand new contacts and that put me over the edge. I put them in my pocket to go to work and they were gone. I searched my car around my house even on the ground next to my car. This was the straw that broke the camels back I was angry before but now im livid and i drank a lot which i havent done in months to try to escape the pain. I dont have anyone in my life and not a lot of support i have 2 brothers left in my whole family that basically dont want to deal with my problems or dont really understand them. So there you have it my life sucks!!!!!

 

[hellostarlight]

Yup, first felt suicidal around 12 and decided I could manage things until I hit 16.. something happened that made my physical health problems get really bad to the point where I was slowly dying but it was then that I kind of realized how much I didn't care anymore.

Instead of going to the hospital I just thought about what it would be like to die and thought if I'm gonna die I'm gonna die. Clearly I didn't, because my family noticed got me medical help and I recovered fully about a month later.

Then last year (17) I slit my throat (have a big scar there now, greeeat -_-) my kitten actually tried to stop me lol.

Then another day I tried to hang my self over and over again until I realized it just wasn't happening and gave up.

Then I suffocated myself with a bag and felt weird for a week or two.

Then I ran out in front of some cars.

And now... idk. I still think about it. I'm trying to do other things to prevent me from doing that but they're all bad stuff that could still kill me so I don't know if it's any better anyway.

I feel really embarrassed about it because honestly who fails that many times but my family say they'll make me go to a hospital if I try that again so trying not to.

I think part of the reason why I do this is because I don't feel much attachment to my body though obviously I know without it I can't exist. Maybe I'm fine with not existing though :x

I know people think it's selfish and that "teens don't know what real problems are" but w/e. If I didn't feel desperate I wouldn't bother.

 

[NobodySomebody]

I've thought about doing it never really did maybe two to three times or more. I never went through with anything because I knew it'd hurt my mom.

 

[stinky_cheese_dude]

Had suicidal ideation on and off since my teens. Came close to actually doing it about 5-6 times in my life. Wanted to drown at sea, nearly jumped from a cliff, piled up pills for an overdose, put the knife against my wrist.

The only thing that stopped me was the ironic thought that I like existing, and hoped things would change - even in my darkest depression it would boil down to a simple battle in my mind whether I continued to exist on earth or not. I'm too much of a thinker, an introvert and as such find my own understanding of consciousness has probably been the only thing that kept me living at times.

 

[ABrokenMan]

Every day it draws another day closer.