This has taken some time for me to write.
My name is David, and I am a gay male, age 40. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, from the time I was 17. I have been in and out of therapy, and on medication since I was 8 from a suicide attempt. I have attempted suicide at least 5 times.
I live alone, hardly any relationships with men. I work in Telecommunications. I'm proud that I worked myself up from nothing to where I am today. I like to think I have friends, but they may call themselves other things. On weekends, if I don't have to go out, I prefer to stay in until Monday. Ive tried going out, but I'm always rejected. I feel safer at home, with my two meows ( cats).
Due to the fact that I was unhappy and unfulfilled at my last job, I found a new job with more money at a smaller company. I interviewed with five different people, and was hired. I came in to learn and to get excited about the career path I had chosen. I've been here since July, and now I want to leave.
The people here, who once were nice, are now mean, callous, and unfriendly. I have found out that they have constantly talked about me behind my back. Some are not even willing to help me get my feet wet. It is out and out harassment. I also feel like I'm being set up to fail,so they have some grounds. When it came to Telecom, I felt confident about what I knew and how I was able to function in any situation. Now, I find myself second, and third guessing every email, every thought . This has also spread into my personal life. Including me, there are 8 people in this office.
Today, I am the only person that is in the office, while everyone else has decided to work from home. I also found out that all the co workers were invited to another co worker's house for a party. I was the only one not invited. I heard people talking about what time they were leaving their homes to get to this person's house, and it was in whispers. It also doesn't help that these people who are mean and vicious, they ALL have companions, kids, married, the whole nine yards. They get to go home to other people, while I go home alone, and suffer through the silence. Why do they get to be married, engaged, have kids, live the green life, and I have to wonder if this will be the day that anyone says hi to me in the office, or if I decide to take my life tonight.
My name is David, and I am a gay male, age 40. I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, from the time I was 17. I have been in and out of therapy, and on medication since I was 8 from a suicide attempt. I have attempted suicide at least 5 times.
I live alone, hardly any relationships with men. I work in Telecommunications. I'm proud that I worked myself up from nothing to where I am today. I like to think I have friends, but they may call themselves other things. On weekends, if I don't have to go out, I prefer to stay in until Monday. Ive tried going out, but I'm always rejected. I feel safer at home, with my two meows ( cats).
Due to the fact that I was unhappy and unfulfilled at my last job, I found a new job with more money at a smaller company. I interviewed with five different people, and was hired. I came in to learn and to get excited about the career path I had chosen. I've been here since July, and now I want to leave.
The people here, who once were nice, are now mean, callous, and unfriendly. I have found out that they have constantly talked about me behind my back. Some are not even willing to help me get my feet wet. It is out and out harassment. I also feel like I'm being set up to fail,so they have some grounds. When it came to Telecom, I felt confident about what I knew and how I was able to function in any situation. Now, I find myself second, and third guessing every email, every thought . This has also spread into my personal life. Including me, there are 8 people in this office.
Today, I am the only person that is in the office, while everyone else has decided to work from home. I also found out that all the co workers were invited to another co worker's house for a party. I was the only one not invited. I heard people talking about what time they were leaving their homes to get to this person's house, and it was in whispers. It also doesn't help that these people who are mean and vicious, they ALL have companions, kids, married, the whole nine yards. They get to go home to other people, while I go home alone, and suffer through the silence. Why do they get to be married, engaged, have kids, live the green life, and I have to wonder if this will be the day that anyone says hi to me in the office, or if I decide to take my life tonight.