I am an atrocity when I'm naked

[Among the Sleep]

Does this hold anybody else back from trying to find a relationship. I don't think that most people look at me and think that I'm really a bad looking guy. But my insecurities eat me alive on a daily basis. I'm 22 and my hair is starting to go white already, and receding. I have more stretch marks than any human on Earth, I'm fairly convinced. I'm fuckin' pale as honeysuckle, 20 pounds or so overweight, I kinda look 17 and (TOO MUCH INFO ALERT) I'm uncircumsized and pretty small down there. When I look in the mirror all I can think of "WHAT girl could look at this pasty blob of honeysuckle, and actually be sexually attracted to it? WHAT girl on Earth would call ME her boyfriend?" and it makes me wish I was dead.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Mu dude is pasty white, his hair is thinning, and he has a lot of other imperfections that he's very self-conscious about. He's told me that I'm about the only person that knows what he doesn't like about himself. And why do I know? Because I'm someone who loves him very much, regardless of anything else. You have to trust that you'll find someone who loves you regardless of everything. If you don't believe in it or trust it, no one else will.

 

[Ak5]

We're our own worst enemy.

The only thing you can do to fix those insecurities is work out. Receding hair is genetic. Being pale, sunbathe?

Out of all the girls on this planet, I'm sure one of them is interested in that.

Work on it if you feel insecure.

 

[Ox Blood]

I feel like I could have written this -- minus the private bits, as I am a girl.

It seems like such a recycled answer...
Change what is within your power to change -- most importantly, accept the things you cannot.

If you somehow succeed in doing this, especially the latter part... Please come back and share your secret.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

k....I was a Thai kid that imagrated to the USA.
I didnt get the red carpet treatment as my sisters did.
They are Thai women, china dolls and whatever the fresia the stima or view
on that is. My mother is rather a very beautiful Thai woman also.

As for me...I got fed balony.lmao
I had never tasted balony before. It is totally mother fucken gross to me.

I heard every mother fucken asian jokes and been called every names
in the book.

My skin colour...
Well, my name is Michael. LOrd have mercy... my last name aint Jackson.lol
I aint Tiger mother ******* Woods. Maybe he's out to contaminate
whitie's gene pool too. Hahahaaaaaaa

You know what they say about asain men with little dicks.
And we're sure as hell aint fucken catholic...No part of me is going to heaven
Not even a little skin.lmao

Im 45 now...I got my first streak of gray on the left side at the age of 22.
Thats what i get for marrying a white girl.lol

Wrinkles and scars on the inside and outside from living in general.

Well...fresia it all anywho. Balony causes brain damage...man.
I gotta luagh at alot of this honeysuckle. Luaghter is healing.
Once i can luagh at myself..whatever the fresia anyone say or thinks of me dosnt mean beans

On a serious note...Sorry, dude.
I know people will say to work on yourself from the inside out and all that good stuff.
I do alot of those things for my well being and mental health. Good self esteem and good body image..ect
I went through a lot of those things...I still work out and try to stay in shape.

However, this also played a major factor in my psychic.
My first GF. She was like an oasis. A rose in a desert. A shining light in the darkness.
She love me for me. Whatever the fresia life, society or my peer group were throwing at me she displaced that.
In other words, she open up my mind and heart...

She made an impac in my life. She looks like this. Beautiful on the inside and outside.
Her name is Rita...Incidently Sassy happens to look like her too...So I dont know what kind of other psychological
impac she also made. Most if not all of my life, Ive alway been in relationship with blondes with irish decendent.
Weird unexplainable stuff or patterns in my life that I didnt totally understand.

ALOT OF IT IS IN MY HEAD.....
The first time i hear about...."It's a self fulfilling prohecy " was here on this site.
People on here knows about a lot of stuff. It made me think or ponder.

I also notice some people that would come on here and complain all the fucken
time how thier lives are forever doom or set. How they're never going to change
or get a girl. Over and over again and again. They refused to change their beliefs.

Stuff like...Act is if...See as if...FELL as if...your handsome, a chick It magnet...etc
If you read losing weight books or self esteem book. They'll say the samething.
Lots of positive selftalk. Lots of positive thinking to flood out our old ideas (balony) or unworkable beliefs.

Stop telling yourself you're never going to be with someone or good enough.
Stop thinking and believing like that. It's self defeating.
Its not the easiest thing in the world to do..To change the way you think and believe.
Stuff that got ingrained inside of us for so long.

Anyway, I never thought nor believe I wasnt going to get women or not have women in my life.
That was never a part of my mental make up or mental blue print.

here's Sassy

here's me and Sassy

 

[Tiina63]

I'm sorry that you are so unhappy about they way you look. But you are not alone in this. I think that almost everyone is insecure about their looks, mainly because society and a lot of people around us constantly reinforce the message that looks matter so much. I think that your problem is lack of confidence. All any of us can do is make the best of ourselves and then try not to worry too much. I know I sometimes feel that I am the ugliest person alive and wonder if anyone could ever think I am attractive, so I know where you are coming from.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I dont have too many pic's of kelsie's mom.
kelsie is my step daughter.
Kelsie's mom asked me out or persuied me just like Sassy just showed up
at my house oneday with a friend.
But Im not shitting you...there were wierd stuff going on that all these
women look striking simular comes into my life or manifested themselves.
And alot of it was becuase this is the type of girl Im attracted to and wanna
be with. And I thought and day dream about it lots.
It's wickage....

heres my step daughters and me. Tiffany and Kelsie.
Tiff looks just like her mom

 

[Stranger]

Seriously, there are lots of guys who look like that. In fact, it's extremely hard to find a guy who has both an attractive body and a nice character, so if you have one of the two, you should have no problem with girls... just knowing that they won't fall for you based on appearance, take it slow and let them get to know your character first. No girl can resist a guy who is nice and kind to her, who helps and pays attention! There are many hair dyes available that are made specifically for men, and noone can see stretchmarks in the darkness. My ex-boyfriend had them and I didn't even notice until several months into our relationship. You could even lose a little weight - not the full 20, but 5-10 pounds would make a huge difference to the way you look, especially if you exercise and build muscle at the same time. Don't be upset - every problem you mentioned can me solved! (exept for one... haha but that one's not even important)

 

[roguewave]

How did you originally get the messages that the qualities you dislike about your physical self are undesirable? Really think about it.
Advertising used to focus mostly on tearing down women but now they're realizing if they do the same thing to men that there is loads more money to be made.
In advertising, media, our spoken language, even places you hope would be free from body shame like the medical field all contribute to our body hatred.
Ever noticed how there are multiple products you can buy to esthetically "improve" almost every part of your body? That's not an accident.
It's not an accident that people literally have lists of things they physically hate about themselves. We've been so brainwashed into thinking this degree of focus on our body parts is normal. After all, everyone has things they hate about their body, right? Right?
No. This is a modern cultural phenomenon. Don't let it destroy you.
After you figure out where you got these negative messages in the first place, keep an eye out for them in media outlets. Once you learn to identify the messenger you will be able to "take back" your body, in a sense. At least it works for me. I hope this was helpful.

 

[Hoffy]

Don't think that of yourself. If you have more stretch marks than me I'd give you 100 bucks. I've had three kids, looked like I was carry twins with all three. I'm not skinny and I'm not the prettiest flower in the bunch, but my boyfriend loves me and my body. I also never even knew what he looked like till we had been talking for a little over a month, and this was after I had fallen in love with him. You can find someone who will love you for you. They are out there, I promise. Circumcised penises are over rated definitely. As far as size it's all in how you use it. If you think you're to white, go get some sunshine. Your hair you can always dye or you could go for a really short hair cut. I think you're being to hard on yourself. No one is perfect and everyone has things they don't like about their bodies. Try and focus on the things you do like and don't beat yourself so much

 

[betteroffdead]

I feel the same way man. I have horrible (ace and back) acne and a weird shaped face. im small, unmuscular, and im covered in scars. I still managed to find a great girl who liked me for who I was. Of course , since we broke up, the only girl i liked since isnt into me at all, but whatever. you know?

Youll be fine man.

 

[Gutted]

Don't worry about how you look friend. Just work with what you were given :] What matters is that you're clean and tidy. As long as you clean and tidy (which I am sure you do) you are just fine, no matter what any shallow person near you says. Also, I'm sure you have a perfectly fine personality. That will get you far as long as you don't let such feelings as the ones you have now get to you. You'll meet a girl eventually =D Look forward to that time~

 

[gnome3]

Lots of good advice here. I would have to say that I agree with most of it. There IS someone out there for most everyone.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Okay well the weight issue is fixable. Yes?

Btw being pale is not a bad thing. Do not sunbathe. It gives you cancer and wrinkles later in life.

 

[aribeth]

My weight gets to me. I never had a weight problem till my 40's. Before that I was thin. Now I dread looking in a mirror because of my weight and because my face aged. I can no longer wear makeup like I used to. It just brings out the aged skin I now have. I hate getting old! I thought one was to age gracefully.

 

[Keep On Keeping On]

When I think about myself I can easily find loads of things that I don't like about how i look.
But I learned not too long ago that our physical selves are only a small part of what influences other people.
My character comes over
how i think of myself affects other people
how i treat other people and behave in their company affects how people think of me
And so whenever I consider myself, if there is something i don't like about how i look if I can change it I will (I could dye my hair and/ or get it cut, get a tan, stand straight with better posture etc) and when i do these things people think differently about me.

And so if you don't like how you look - change what you can and then accept yourself. And then focus your attention on other people and how you can help them

When you do that i guarantee you will start to feel better about yourself

 

[Pandapanda]

It's funny Among the Sheep. I just started posting today, and my insecurities about my body are what compelled me to do so. Speaking as a 26 year old virgin (and female), trust me. I know a lot about shallow judgement on my appearance. There's so much pressure to get married and have kids by a certain age otherwise you'll be an old hag past 25.

I have back acne scars from when I was a teenager and to throw in some TMI, I'm also not fond of my genitals. I'm dark skinned so their purple and pink, not the fleshy color you usually see in porn. I have curly hair and I only ever get tons of attention when it's straight, but then I have to worry about straightening it all of the time. I'm not tall, I'm 5'1. I have a gap in my two front teeth. I have stretch marks on my hips and thighs, and it's kept me afraid of living for almost 27 years, and I learned that life will not stop for anyone. You can either accept yourself and live your life or you can criticize yourself and wait to die. Easier said than done, believe me I know.

To the poster who said most people are either attractive or have a great personality, I find that to be true. I'd take personality over "sexiness" any day. I'd love to meet someone who loves movies (especially Sci-fi), eating food (especially ice cream-my personal fave), video games, and books. At the end of the day, I just want someone who will accept me. I think the reason most of us are on Lonely life is because we feel misunderstood by others. We are scared in ways many just simply don't understand.

If I find someone who shares my insecurities and I can make him feel strong in ways he never felt possible, I'll be forever be happy.

 

[AFrozenSoul]

Stretch marks are Awesome. Mine make me look like a tiger . Your weight is something you can control. If you are overweight then it is time to buckle down and lose weight. ^_^ I have lost plenty of weight so I know it can be done. Whether it be guy or girl. Being fat is something you can control, most of the time. So that is something you can fix. AS for your white hairs. Remember men become more attractive as they get older. However, in the mean time you can dye your hair. It is not unheard of. >.< If you are pasty white get a tan it is not hard. I like being a pasty white ghost. ^_^ Means I will age slower and am less at risk for skin cancer.

 

[Stars]

Does this hold anybody else back from trying to find a relationship. I don't think that most people look at me and think that I'm really a bad looking guy. But my insecurities eat me alive on a daily basis. I'm 22 and my hair is starting to go white already, and receding. I have more stretch marks than any human on Earth, I'm fairly convinced. I'm fuckin' pale as honeysuckle, 20 pounds or so overweight, I kinda look 17 and (TOO MUCH INFO ALERT) I'm uncircumsized and pretty small down there. When I look in the mirror all I can think of "WHAT girl could look at this pasty blob of honeysuckle, and actually be sexually attracted to it? WHAT girl on Earth would call ME her boyfriend?" and it makes me wish I was dead.

1. Pale skin is in. Girls love the vampiric look it seems.

2. I love the extra padding. All the guys I've been interested in were overweight.

3. Uncircumsized is sexy and you have more sensitivity. It's exciting to see a turtle pop out of its shell! (Well, for me I guess...lololol)

Why in fact, I'm already aroused!

Good work, sir.

---

I have back acne scars from when I was a teenager and to throw in some TMI, I'm also not fond of my genitals. I'm dark skinned so their purple and pink, not the fleshy color you usually see in porn.

Oh wth.
Different races have different genital colours!!!
You can't compare a white chick's junk to an indian chick's junk to a black chick's junk etc!!
Nothing to be ashamed of!!!
If anyone rejects you for it - they are an idiot and obviously too brainwashed for you.
Haha I'm purple and pink too! Buddies <3!!
But seriously, there are waaaay too many mainstream-obsessed idiotic guys that think if you're not a white blonde (artificial usually) with DDs and bleached ass that you're ugly.
Well I say, screw those losers and leave them alone to their lonely forever porn-fapping in their mom's basements!

 

[AFrozenSoul]

1. Pale skin is in. Girls love the vampiric look it seems.

:/ If you say so, everyone I meet, male or female, tells me to get some sun