lovableplatypus
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- Joined
- Oct 11, 2014
- Messages
- 32
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Thinking about it hurts and makes me cry but it's true, I hate myself. I hate to be around people, I hate to see my reflection on surfaces, I hate my voice and the fact that I'm shy and socially isolated. Whenever I go someplace new (new job, school, etc) I can act happy and social for a couple of days but then I change back to myself, barely looking anyone in the eye, barely greeting anyone. That's just because my voice has always been so quiet, no one ever hears me. That's why people probably think I'm rude but I'm not, I'm just shy and awkward. It makes me wnder what is wrong with me when I greet someone and they don't even respond (because they can't hear me) . I can't relax, my smile is usually the awkward kind that doesn't reach the eyes. Everyday is hard, I'm suffering because of all of this.
This self hatred has always been with me, I don't know how to be different anymore. I just don't know how long I can keep living this way. Can't form meaningful relationships etc.
Sometimes I have a lot to say to people but I can't say it aloud. Words don't come out of my mouth. I just hate this.
I think I would have needed therapy ever since I was a kid. I was always like this. I'm already 24.
This self hatred has always been with me, I don't know how to be different anymore. I just don't know how long I can keep living this way. Can't form meaningful relationships etc.
Sometimes I have a lot to say to people but I can't say it aloud. Words don't come out of my mouth. I just hate this.
I think I would have needed therapy ever since I was a kid. I was always like this. I'm already 24.