I'm from England and lost contact with my family a long time ago. Any friends moved on with their lives. So I've moved around a lot to survive and ended up with no friends or acquaintances at all. It's ruining everything for me
I can't work in the jobs I want because of lack of industrial contacts, I can't go back to study because no academic references. Moving can be hard because no one will be a guarantor. I can't even own a passport anymore because no one will act as a countersignature after it got lost. Which means despite being a lifelong citizen I cannot hold a passport.
What is worse is how bad the damage is to my mental health and sense of being alive. This is really horrible and there is simply no help. I don't want someone to talk to me about joining a book club or volunteering, I am talking about the essential connection you need as a person which everyone needs. Except everyone has walked away and there's no chance of making friends as an adult. Everyone is either at work or too tired afterwards to be bothered.
Being alone almost constantly is leaving me with a very bad level of anxiety. I don't bother with the doctors anymore because they don't take me seriously and there is no point doping myself up. I need to try and build connections but that is impossible. All I can do is try to zone out because this is barely worth living for but as I get older that is becoming harder to do.
I spend all my energy trying to stay sane but
