I just don't know what's what anymore...

[Eath]

Hey guys. I'm really confused and depressed right now. People said I'd a lot of friends and is a good friend to have but there's this detachment feeling when I'm with my peers. It's like I'm just out of place. They genuinely laugh at my jokes like what friends do but sometimes I just get that insecure feelings. It's like I'm being shunned yet am not. I just feel out of phase from them, sometimes they just seems so far away.

-Sad Guy, Eath

 

[diane58]

hi eath,
well,just know you are not the only one who feels that way sometimes. it's a crazy old world. anyway,this is a great place to come to when you feel that way.
maybe poke around and write about things that you like and see what convos you can start up here...

or...would it feel better to talk more at length about how you are feeling? does writing/typing/communicating help?
diane

 

[cheaptrickfan]

I get a similar feeling quite often. I can be in a crowd, seeming to socialize well (on the surface at least) with others, making people laugh, whatever, and still feel completely disconnected from everyone.

At times I feel utterly alien.

 

[Eath]

I generally tend to able to express my feelings better while typing. I'm kinda introvert but most people will just say, "O' Rly?".
Also among my peers, there's no one really is on the same wavelength as me. I'm forced to read up on stuffs they talk about, etc because if I don't, I'll be left out. I'm so tired about this. I will definitely feel better writing out what I'm feeling now...

---

I get a similar feeling quite often. I can be in a crowd, seeming to socialize well (on the surface at least) with others, making people laugh, whatever, and still feel completely disconnected from everyone.

At times I feel utterly alien.

You completely said what I wanted to say. I'm feeling really empty about this. My friends do care about me but what I'm feeling may be superficial. I know I'm really contradictory but I just try to live with it. 1.5 years had passed (I'm away from my homeland due to education purpose) and now I don't think I can continue this any more. I feel like I'm not me, I'm used to hearing I'm a cherry-always-smiling person but after coming here, what I'm hearing now is, "Why so emo?"...

 

[Coverage]

I had similar feelings with the group I hung out in highschool. They would treat me good to start with and listen to what I had to say and we would kid around a good bit, but there was alwasy that detached feeling I had around them where I really didnt feel I belonged. It was fine till about a year and a half later I discovered that they really weren't "friends" and that I really should have made the effort at finding a new group of buddies to spend time with.

 

[Papabear]

In the end the only person you have is yourself, always remember that. People are tools, whether we want to admit it or not. Tools to lean on, tools to laugh with, tools to fresia, tools to make ourselves feel better.

 

[It was Mine]

In the end the only person you have is yourself, always remember that. People are tools, whether we want to admit it or not. Tools to lean on, tools to laugh with, tools to fresia, tools to make ourselves feel better.

I don't think you're a tool, your a human being god dammit. your life has meaning! even if i don't know you. I know this to be true of us all.

 

[Thomas Crystalstick]

In the end the only person you have is yourself, always remember that. People are tools, whether we want to admit it or not. Tools to lean on, tools to laugh with, tools to fresia, tools to make ourselves feel better.

I don't think you're a tool, your a human being god dammit. your life has meaning! even if i don't know you. I know this to be true of us all.

Personally, I've seen too much evidence to suggest that yes, we humans CAN be tools when we want to be.

But we can also be "human beings."

Is there love, genuine warmth, sincerity? Or is there protocol, superficiality?

Sometimes human interactions seem like some kind of chessboard, I swear... We should all try to investigate what this feeling of "disconnect" is because obviously if we can describe it to each other and recognize it, then it is a phenomenon squirming around in the collective mind.

 

[Eath]

I agree to the point that we human made use of each other but that's because we are human.

In the end I still feel empty after at the end of the day.

Also is getting lonely easily a bad thing?

 

[Ridin Solo]

I had similar feelings with the group I hung out in highschool. They would treat me good to start with and listen to what I had to say and we would kid around a good bit, but there was alwasy that detached feeling I had around them where I really didnt feel I belonged. It was fine till about a year and a half later I discovered that they really weren't "friends" and that I really should have made the effort at finding a new group of buddies to spend time with.

That's disturbing... sounds just like me. The group I hung around in was heavy into the hip hop/gangster culture. I never felt like that type of person but they accepted me in their group and I appreciated them for that. Still, I always felt like it was "them" and "me." When I was around them I thought stuff like, "Is this what friendship is suppose to feels like?" I felt constantly on guard, felt I couldn't be myself, though whether that was justified or not I can't say for sure. I felt relieved and more comfortable everytime I left their presence, and over time these feelings distorted my mindset to the point where I thought I was better off alone... that led to heavy drug addiction and isolation. Now I realize there are people out there I can be 100% comfortable around... it's just a ***** trying to find them.

 

[Eath]

That's disturbing... sounds just like me. The group I hung around in was heavy into the hip hop/gangster culture. I never felt like that type of person but they accepted me in their group and I appreciated them for that. Still, I always felt like it was "them" and "me." When I was around them I thought stuff like, "Is this what friendship is suppose to feels like?" I felt constantly on guard, felt I couldn't be myself, though whether that was justified or not I can't say for sure. I felt relieved and more comfortable everytime I left their presence, and over time these feelings distorted my mindset to the point where I thought I was better off alone... that led to heavy drug addiction and isolation. Now I realize there are people out there I can be 100% comfortable around... it's just a ***** trying to find them.

So you're suggesting me that I should get out there to find a group just for me? How do I do that?

 

[Ridin Solo]

That's disturbing... sounds just like me. The group I hung around in was heavy into the hip hop/gangster culture. I never felt like that type of person but they accepted me in their group and I appreciated them for that. Still, I always felt like it was "them" and "me." When I was around them I thought stuff like, "Is this what friendship is suppose to feels like?" I felt constantly on guard, felt I couldn't be myself, though whether that was justified or not I can't say for sure. I felt relieved and more comfortable everytime I left their presence, and over time these feelings distorted my mindset to the point where I thought I was better off alone... that led to heavy drug addiction and isolation. Now I realize there are people out there I can be 100% comfortable around... it's just a ***** trying to find them.

So you're suggesting me that I should get out there to find a group just for me? How do I do that?

I've been asking myself the same question for last few years and still haven't come to a reasonable answer. It's taking a toll on my sanity.

 

[Eath]

I found a solution... well, this is what I do and it kinda makes me feel better overall. Since I'm a guy, I got this privilege of acting stupid in a sense that if I said something wrong, I just don't really cares and quickly change the topic before shits fall on me. People who kinda piss me off, I will go all silent and wait for them to finish their last sentence. After that I will change the topic to something else. Yeah... tell me is it doable? Well, it's just temporary relief since it's really hard to find a true friend but hey, this got me to feel a little bit happier about life.

 

[under0ath]

i know exactly how you feel, being in the same situations. and some on this site have told me that it's just that we're human, and we go through it sometimes. though... i still haven't found out why :/
but i wish the best for you