I just want someone to love me.

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Naleena

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We all want someone to "love" us. But what does that mean exactly? I think it means different things for different people. If your "soul mate" were standing in front of you and you could express exactly what "loving you" meant or what "being loved" by that person would mean to you by translating it into "I want,"or "I need," in this relationship, what would you say? Note: Saying that we need something in a relationship doesn't mean we are saying we need that person.

A few ways I would express how my feelings of being "loved by someone" could be met would be:

I have a need to feel safe and protected when I am with you.
I have a need to feel an intimate connection with you through physical touch.
I have a need to communicate with you about anything I want to without being critisised or judged.
I need to feel valued.
I have a need be accepted.
I have a need for autonomy.
I have a need for honesty.
I have a need to be respected for who I am.
I have a need to laugh and play.

This is what I need to feel loved...or a few of the things I need...lol
 
LonelyDragon said:
I need to feel valued.



But I don't :(

((((((((((((Lonely Dragon))))))))))))) What would it take for you to feel valued? How can someone meet that need for you? My need for being valued could be met by recognition and someone saying,"Thank you." and "I appreciate you."
 
I pretty much need the very same things as You do Naleena. As awesome as You are, You should be able to attract and keep the very best of partner.
 
Naleena said:
What would it take for you to feel valued? How can someone meet that need for you?

I really don't know. Maybe just to know that I was needed, or even just wanted around. And I don't even know that.
 
I suppose there is more I could say, but instead I will just say. I miss you K.
 
LonelyDragon said:
Naleena said:
What would it take for you to feel valued? How can someone meet that need for you?

I really don't know. Maybe just to know that I was needed, or even just wanted around. And I don't even know that.

Lonely Dragon, I think a lot of us may not know what we need to feel loved. It's hard to expect someone else to know what we need when we can't express it or possibley don't know what it is we need ourselves. I think you did a good job by saying that you had a need to be needed. You may want to think a little deeper and find out what "being needed" means to you. Thank you for replying to my post :)
 
Robin said:
I pretty much need the very same things as You do Naleena. As awesome as You are, You should be able to attract and keep the very best of partner.

I think we all need a lot of the same things. It's hard sometimes to find the words to express it. Thank you, Robin, for your kind words.
 
Naleena said:
To have someone say I miss you, to me, could meet the need to be valued, connected, and desired. It's a great thing to be missed :)

Well, You are missed Naleena. Very much so!
 
Van Hooligan said:
i like to make the girls laugh, i think it's one of the best arsenal a guy could have, and i just want someone to love me really but that's even harder then making them laugh T_T.

((((((((Van Hooligan))))))))) I wonder why you think it is hard for someone to really love you? Sounds like you are being hard on yourself. I wonder what "someone to love me really" means to you.
Have you thought about what you expect out of someone? Something to think about. BTW, humour is a great way to get to know someone. Everyone loves to laugh. I especially like a man who can clown around and who is witty. I think most girls do :)
 
I use to say that to myself all the time.
"I just want someone to love me"
I have a great family, which is awesome beyond belief.
But that is not what I desire at the moment.

For me, I just want someone who can put up me.
Someone who actually wants my company.
Someone who will listen.

Since it has been 24 years and I have not found that person, I have since changed what I say.
It is now "I just want someone to like me".
If you aren't able to achieve the high goal you set, set it lower. =P
I am not sure I can achieve this either but I don't want to lower it more.
The next one would be "I just want someone to tolerate me" or "not dislike me".
 
Naleena said:
...I think a lot of us may not know what we need to feel loved. It's hard to expect someone else to know what we need when we can't express it or possibley don't know what it is we need ourselves....

I probably don't know myself. That in it's self doesn't mean that it is something complicated or difficult, just that i don't know. I also am not sure that i could say to someone "i need you to do this for me to feel loved", because it may feel like asking them to play a role or to do something that is not naturally a part of their character. I guess it seems that i don't expect someone to know what i need. It is either there or it isn't and i don't feel that i have the right to expect them to change anything to meet my needs.

For what i actually need. It could probably start by acknowledging my existence on occassion.
 
Minus said:
Naleena said:
...I think a lot of us may not know what we need to feel loved. It's hard to expect someone else to know what we need when we can't express it or possibley don't know what it is we need ourselves....

I probably don't know myself. That in it's self doesn't mean that it is something complicated or difficult, just that i don't know. I also am not sure that i could say to someone "i need you to do this for me to feel loved", because it may feel like asking them to play a role or to do something that is not naturally a part of their character. I guess it seems that i don't expect someone to know what i need. It is either there or it isn't and i don't feel that i have the right to expect them to change anything to meet my needs.

For what i actually need. It could probably start by acknowledging my existence on occassion.

Exactly. If you have to ask them to do something then it's not really the same.



The way things are for me right now I feel like I'm not really wanted here, but just helping out around the house. It's really not the feeling of being needed I am looking for. I feel more like a room mate than what I need to feel like.
 
LonelyDragon said:
Exactly. If you have to ask them to do something then it's not really the same.



The way things are for me right now I feel like I'm not really wanted here, but just helping out around the house. It's really not the feeling of being needed I am looking for. I feel more like a room mate than what I need to feel like.

What exactly do you need?
What do you see as the problem?
 
eh? said:
LonelyDragon said:
Exactly. If you have to ask them to do something then it's not really the same.



The way things are for me right now I feel like I'm not really wanted here, but just helping out around the house. It's really not the feeling of being needed I am looking for. I feel more like a room mate than what I need to feel like.

What exactly do you need?
What do you see as the problem?

I just want someone to want me around for me. Not because they can't afford the cable bill this month. Or because they need someone to take the kids to school in the morning.
 
Naleena said:
in this relationship, what would you say? Note: Saying that we need something in a relationship doesn't mean we are saying we need that person.

I have a need for understanding
I have a need for a sense of humor
I have need for someone that respects opinions
I have a need for complete honesty
I have a need for physical affection
I need someone that knows what a real relationship can be.

I also need someone that understands my big mouth is part of who I am and doesn't mean I'm incapable of love.
 
You can have all that you may need....

But Nalee..I have what you want :p

You Give me Something....that makes me scare..alright
This could be nothing but I'm willing to give a try
Please give me something, cuz someday I might know my heart.
[youtube]I4HIyOWtzlo[/youtube]
 

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