hartbroken
Member
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2014
- Messages
- 6
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I initiated a relationship about 6 years ago with a girl. We met at a church, and I said in my heart I wanted to marry her someday - very premature, but I thought I really did like her that much.. I called her up at her workplace, because I got her number from some friends who knew her better than me.
She was flattered to go out with me, and so we did. I was doing alright, and so was she for several months. Soon our passions flared up and we had our first sexual encounter. A year later I put an engagement ring on her, although we had no definite marriage plans as of yet.
We began to work out the details of getting married. The big problem was that I am disabled and cannot work. I need to stay on my current medical supplemental insurance (because it's the best way to get my needs met) and we could not afford the Healthcare Act reform at the time to supplement my Medicare.
We've been disappointed, and I believe true love outlasts problems like these. But now I am getting nervous all of a sudden around her. I suppose it was a good thing we didn't get married. But she is 120% in love with me, a super nice girl, and I can't stand the thought of breaking up with her. She has told me that if we ever break up she couldn't face life and would probably quit work (because of her broken heart) and "be a bag lady under the bridge."
I am put in a very hard spot, to tell her I feel differently about her for some reason I don't know is coming over me, and face the heartbreak she would go thru (I really do care for her, I'm just nervous around her) and myself included (even though I am nervous around her, I still would miss her like crazy) OR continue to be together and hope things still work out someday.
I've been to counselors and psychiatrists and pastors and my doctor and a specialist for my nervous issues, and we can't get anywhere. I do wonder if it's as simple as me being nervous around her, or if I am going thru some kind of test or trial to test my faithfulness for her. I don't know.
If I didn't give a rat's &%$ about her, I'd probably break up now. But I do care so deeply about her. I don't know what makes me nervous about her. Maybe more counseling is in order to get to the root of this.
Any suggestions?
She was flattered to go out with me, and so we did. I was doing alright, and so was she for several months. Soon our passions flared up and we had our first sexual encounter. A year later I put an engagement ring on her, although we had no definite marriage plans as of yet.
We began to work out the details of getting married. The big problem was that I am disabled and cannot work. I need to stay on my current medical supplemental insurance (because it's the best way to get my needs met) and we could not afford the Healthcare Act reform at the time to supplement my Medicare.
We've been disappointed, and I believe true love outlasts problems like these. But now I am getting nervous all of a sudden around her. I suppose it was a good thing we didn't get married. But she is 120% in love with me, a super nice girl, and I can't stand the thought of breaking up with her. She has told me that if we ever break up she couldn't face life and would probably quit work (because of her broken heart) and "be a bag lady under the bridge."
I am put in a very hard spot, to tell her I feel differently about her for some reason I don't know is coming over me, and face the heartbreak she would go thru (I really do care for her, I'm just nervous around her) and myself included (even though I am nervous around her, I still would miss her like crazy) OR continue to be together and hope things still work out someday.
I've been to counselors and psychiatrists and pastors and my doctor and a specialist for my nervous issues, and we can't get anywhere. I do wonder if it's as simple as me being nervous around her, or if I am going thru some kind of test or trial to test my faithfulness for her. I don't know.
If I didn't give a rat's &%$ about her, I'd probably break up now. But I do care so deeply about her. I don't know what makes me nervous about her. Maybe more counseling is in order to get to the root of this.
Any suggestions?