the-alchemist
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2010
- Messages
- 86
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Man, in one month I'm going to move abroad, quite far away. I have had such a miserable shitty life in this honeysuckle country I live in. And finally I'm going to leave it all behind.
Almost everything has been arranged now. And I am happy to move abroad and pursue my dreams. But these last few days, I've been with my mom alot. And for all her faults and errors, she is still my mom and I love her. Last night she called me and broke down in tears over the fact that I'm leaving.
And I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. My brother lives in another city, and she is divorced with my father. And I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She ended coming over to my place and sleeping over there. She has otherwise been very supportive for me in ways I can never repay her for. My gratitude will never cease for all the help she has given me in this endeavor.
I don't know why, I'm still going through the motions. But suddenly I don't feel anything anymore. Just 1 week ago, I felt so optimistic, I was really looking forward to leaving this hell and start over. And I still do. But now, I dunno why, I just don't feel anything now. What's wrong with me? Why have I lost my drive? I mean, my life here has been total misery, I have no real friends, no girlfriend. The weather is cold. The people here are cold and shallow. I'm just surrounded by people who makes me feel bad.
And I'm not having any unrealistic expectations once I move to my new country. I don't expect everything to just turn upside down and turn into paradise. I know I'll have to work my up from the bottom. I know I'll carry my problems with me there. But it will represent an opportunity for me to rise and get out of this abyss that is my life
Almost everything has been arranged now. And I am happy to move abroad and pursue my dreams. But these last few days, I've been with my mom alot. And for all her faults and errors, she is still my mom and I love her. Last night she called me and broke down in tears over the fact that I'm leaving.
And I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. My brother lives in another city, and she is divorced with my father. And I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She ended coming over to my place and sleeping over there. She has otherwise been very supportive for me in ways I can never repay her for. My gratitude will never cease for all the help she has given me in this endeavor.
I don't know why, I'm still going through the motions. But suddenly I don't feel anything anymore. Just 1 week ago, I felt so optimistic, I was really looking forward to leaving this hell and start over. And I still do. But now, I dunno why, I just don't feel anything now. What's wrong with me? Why have I lost my drive? I mean, my life here has been total misery, I have no real friends, no girlfriend. The weather is cold. The people here are cold and shallow. I'm just surrounded by people who makes me feel bad.
And I'm not having any unrealistic expectations once I move to my new country. I don't expect everything to just turn upside down and turn into paradise. I know I'll have to work my up from the bottom. I know I'll carry my problems with me there. But it will represent an opportunity for me to rise and get out of this abyss that is my life