I think people care about me too much

[African_weasel]

Hey everybody, this is the second thread I've posted. I often feel like everybody cares too much about me and that's making me shutdown even more. And they also try to help when I don''t want them to. I find this absolutely annoying and I just want it to stop. Why can't people just leave me alone?

 

[Sci-Fi]

Because, like you said they care about you. When you care about someone you want to help them. Maybe you should just tell them in the nicest way possible that you don't need their help, but you appreciate their caring and concern and when you need someone you'll let them know. You are lucky though, there are a lot of people who would love to trade places with you.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Because, like you said they care about you. When you care about someone you want to help them. Maybe you should just tell them in the nicest way possible that you don't need their help, but you appreciate their caring and concern and when you need someone you'll let them know. You are lucky though, there are a lot of people who would love to trade places with you.

+1
My thoughts exactly.

 

[Rosebolt]

Do you know why you percieve their excessive care for you?

 

[CyaReality]

Hey everybody, this is the second thread I've posted. I often feel like everybody cares too much about me and that's making me shutdown even more. And they also try to help when I don''t want them to. I find this absolutely annoying and I just want it to stop. Why can't people just leave me alone?

Some people don't handle positive attention (or at least too MUCH positive attention) too well. I know it used to make me feel kind of awkward. But I really think you could be getting a bit paranoid because your trying not to focus on what's wrong and your going to assume your not doing something right if they always want to try to help. I agree with what SCI FI said on how you should handle it

 

[QuietForte]

Though I know it is starting to beat a dead horse, I'd agree with what is being said in here. I know that, personally, when I care about someone, I try to make them as comfortable as possible. I want them to know that I care, and I want them to know that I think they're a great person. This is probably the thought process of those who are doing such to you.

I think that most people just do it out of instinct, showing affection of any sort to those that they care about. I know I do. I know I also do such because it is what I would like to receive from others.

If you would like it to stop, maybe just try explaining to them that the way they are treating you feels unnatural and uncomfortable. I think most people would desist a bit after that. However, I also think it's important to remember they are only trying to do what they think is right because they care for you. It's meant with good intentions.

 

[African_weasel]

Also, should I not tell people my problems if I don't want them to help me. This happened last month, I was going to deliver my friend stuff back to her house but this person would tell me where she lived because he thought I would try to stalk her like he did and thought this because he "related" to me and said to someone on k8r.us that he tried to help me end it before it "broke me" for too long and he did not help at all nor did I need his help. I no longer believe this and should have not believed it from the start but that's for another thread but feel free to ask via PM. Just a little example of where I'm trying to come from.

 

[edamame721]

If you want to share your problems with someone, but don't want them to "help" you, talk about not only your problems but what you are doing yourself to fix them. Then they might not feel like they need to help you. They will know what is happening so that you can ask for help later, if you ever need it. They will also still feel a part of your life and trusted, because you were able to telling them about your life. Sometimes, all a person needs is a listening ear and not a solution. Just let them know that.

 

[Blue_Eyed_Symphony]

Because, like you said they care about you. When you care about someone you want to help them. Maybe you should just tell them in the nicest way possible that you don't need their help, but you appreciate their caring and concern and when you need someone you'll let them know. You are lucky though, there are a lot of people who would love to trade places with you.

I agree with this, Africano. Especially the last part. I'd love to trade places with you.

 

[UGLYDUCKLING]

I guess he feels people care too much in a sense that they feel sorry for him... 0_0

 

[African_weasel]

Because, like you said they care about you. When you care about someone you want to help them. Maybe you should just tell them in the nicest way possible that you don't need their help, but you appreciate their caring and concern and when you need someone you'll let them know. You are lucky though, there are a lot of people who would love to trade places with you.

I agree with this, Africano. Especially the last part. I'd love to trade places with you.

Glad you feel that way

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If you want to share your problems with someone, but don't want them to "help" you, talk about not only your problems but what you are doing yourself to fix them. Then they might not feel like they need to help you. They will know what is happening so that you can ask for help later, if you ever need it. They will also still feel a part of your life and trusted, because you were able to telling them about your life. Sometimes, all a person needs is a listening ear and not a solution. Just let them know that.

Some people have a hard time just listening.

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Because, like you said they care about you. When you care about someone you want to help them. Maybe you should just tell them in the nicest way possible that you don't need their help, but you appreciate their caring and concern and when you need someone you'll let them know. You are lucky though, there are a lot of people who would love to trade places with you.

but they always proceed to help anyway.