I'm a little confused about my loneliness

[SomeoneSomewhere]

Yes I am. The thing is, I've been lonely all my life and extremely lonely for the last few years. So I've sort of adapted and grown comfortable with this loneliness.

So I don't want it to change. I don't want to make lots of friends, find someone, etc.

But there's a part of me who wants to, who wants to break out of his shell, get out there and feel the rush.

If I ask which train of thought should I catch, I'm sure that a lot of you would reply the second one. But think about it. I've given a lot of time to grow into this and although I don't believe in fate, maybe it has this for me.

So, which one should I go with? Be lonely and comfortable or not?

 

[drr26]

I kind of am split between the two like you.

I'd say try to incorporate both lifestyles to suit your own. Some days you may want to be alone, some days you might want to have company.

The comfertable feeling is now what I have but I want to have both ways of life

 

[WL7.3]

I'm somewhat like that. I feel that I've lost something by interacting with others. Like muddy boot prints in the snow. There's a book that I want to read called Party of One: The Loners Manifesto by Anneli Rufus. Maybe it would help to give an equal credence to both life styles, that is currently lacking in culture. Although people need to interact on some level for survival, I'm not sure that the same amount is necessary in all cases or that a certain amount is ideal. There is a difference in wanting to be alone and being lonely though. Sometimes I just think I'm lonely, because I compare my life to others and conclude without consideration that my life is lacking.When I consider most activities that I enjoy, I think other people greatly take away from the experience. Although if you really feel lonely but have grown accustomed, maybe you're just afraid of rejection or don't want to put in the effort. Nothing wrong with that.

 

[Reno Bill]

I'm the same way. I want to make some friends and have someone to occasionally go to dinner or a movie with. But then again, I don't. I have anxiety and social anxiety, so that idea somewhat scares me. Kind of a tough situation.

Yes I am. The thing is, I've been lonely all my life and extremely lonely for the last few years. So I've sort of adapted and grown comfortable with this loneliness.

So I don't want it to change. I don't want to make lots of friends, find someone, etc.

But there's a part of me who wants to, who wants to break out of his shell, get out there and feel the rush.

If I ask which train of thought should I catch, I'm sure that a lot of you would reply the second one. But think about it. I've given a lot of time to grow into this and although I don't believe in fate, maybe it has this for me.

So, which one should I go with? Be lonely and comfortable or not?

 

[ladyforsaken]

I think you will want to be whichever at different points of your life and I suggest you just go with it. Don't do something just because.. just be yourself and embrace however you are feeling at any point of time.

 

[Legato]

I agree with LF.

It's not like you HAVE to find someone. If you want a friendship/relationship, then only you can make that happen. The fact you even suggested breaking out of your shell suggests a hint of positivity from you, which in my eyes is brilliant to see.

If you'd prefer being alone, then do so. There's no law to suggest you have to find someone. Some people enjoy being on there own, others don't.

At the end of the day, follow what you thinks best. If you can have both in your life, great, but only you can decide