I'm tired of being single

[Ymir]

You know I used to think I wanted a relationship but relationships seem so complicated. I'd rather not.

Too much time spent in investing oneself in one and I have too many goals/dreams for it at the moment.

This is what i keep telling myself. But instead of actually feeling/believing it, like you do, for me it's just something that i try to talk myself into. Truth is that from time to time i do really miss it. I try not to think about it and just move on with wathever lies ahead, but it hurts sometimes.

Sometimes I think I make my relationships complicated. Or maybe they do complicate things. :s

Yes, for all of this. I feel like I have too many goals and no space for someone in my life -- which is true actually -- but then again, I complicate things by not allowing myself to be less goal-oriented. It's a behavior that I can't seem to turn off.

So far, so good. I'm still young and growing more independent. Wonder what it will be like when I grow older and all those health issues start getting worse.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Wonder what it will be like when I grow older and all those health issues start getting worse.

I wonder about this too, for myself. I guess only time will tell.

 

[Pike Creek]

I convinced myself from the age of about 26 through to 42 that I didn't want/need a relationship, that solitude was my chosen way of life. Of course, I had the same thoughts, relationships are too complicated and there is too much room for heart break and emotional stress. I loved my freedom and independence for a long time. But I did long for romance and companionship after those long years of being alone. Even though the same applies, the complications that is...I still choose being in a relationship over being alone, the good outweighs the bad for me. I guess it's nice to know I have somebody there for me in good and bad times.

 

[African_weasel]

So this girl ran into me a few weeks ago. She said that I could text her and message her on Facebook. Should I go for it or do I not bother? Well what do I know, nothing ever went my way to begin with. Every time I try to date even date someone I want to date and it never turn out never go the way I want it to go. I guess that I should just be glad that someone even would spend time with me because they don't have to. I know this dose not make any sense but I just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere and twitter is only limited to 140 characters. So thanks for taking the time to read this passage on this thread. Grazie

 

[ladyforsaken]

When she says you could text and message doesn't mean you should jump on the opportunity to ask her out. You should just do that and get to know her first, talk to her for a bit and arouse some interest between each other.

If you don't try at all, you'll never know if there is a chance here or not.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I convinced myself from the age of about 26 through to 42 that I didn't want/need a relationship, that solitude was my chosen way of life. Of course, I had the same thoughts, relationships are too complicated and there is too much room for heart break and emotional stress. I loved my freedom and independence for a long time. But I did long for romance and companionship after those long years of being alone. Even though the same applies, the complications that is...I still choose being in a relationship over being alone, the good outweighs the bad for me. I guess it's nice to know I have somebody there for me in good and bad times.

^^ This is me, but more in the last 3 or 4 years. However, actively looking for someone (recently - in the past year or so) proved pointless in my case so I decided to just stop and focus on other things. Right now, I'd not want to get involved with someone and then have to deal with the fallout when it ended. You're right about the heartbreak and emotional stress - that stuff just does me in. I might, at some point, decide it's worth it (to take a chance on someone) but that someone would have to be pretty **** special.
I do miss having someone to share my life with though. It's nice to be there for someone and to have someone be there for you.

 

[SelfDefenseFamily]

It's been four months, almost five months since I've been alone and to be quite honest I'm getting pretty sick of it. I tried to get out the most out of being alone. Hell, I even went to Amsterdam a couple of days ago on my own but it still felt like something was missing. The girl I still truly care about is worlds away and not interested in a (very) long distant thing, and to be honest neither am I because I know that wouldn't turn out the way I would want it to be. So I've decided that I need to get my head back together and start retracting from my self imposed isolation. But I don't have the faintest idea how. Most girls here just don't seem interested in me. I don't know why. What is wrong with me. I know that I'm not very good looking but everybody has at least something they can offer, right? How come I don't have anything and to make it worse I don't even have the guts to speak to girls. I just don't know what to say. I guess I am just to afraid of being rejected. To be honest, most of my previous relationships have started with girls talking to me not the other way around. I think of it as a lucky break. And that was my strategy, just wait on that lucky break. But between those periods I always end up feeling bad. I want to take control of everything, but I just don't know how.

 

[Batman55]

So this girl ran into me a few weeks ago. She said that I could text her and message her on Facebook. Should I go for it or do I not bother? Well what do I know, nothing ever went my way to begin with. Every time I try to date even date someone I want to date and it never turn out never go the way I want it to go. I guess that I should just be glad that someone even would spend time with me because they don't have to. I know this dose not make any sense but I just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere and twitter is only limited to 140 characters. So thanks for taking the time to read this passage on this thread. Grazie

Do you live in Italy? Curious.

 

[African_weasel]

So this girl ran into me a few weeks ago. She said that I could text her and message her on Facebook. Should I go for it or do I not bother? Well what do I know, nothing ever went my way to begin with. Every time I try to date even date someone I want to date and it never turn out never go the way I want it to go. I guess that I should just be glad that someone even would spend time with me because they don't have to. I know this dose not make any sense but I just wanted to put my thoughts somewhere and twitter is only limited to 140 characters. So thanks for taking the time to read this passage on this thread. Grazie

Do you live in Italy? Curious.

No, I just happened to know some Italian. I live in the US.

---

It's been four months, almost five months since I've been alone and to be quite honest I'm getting pretty sick of it. I tried to get out the most out of being alone. Hell, I even went to Amsterdam a couple of days ago on my own but it still felt like something was missing. The girl I still truly care about is worlds away and not interested in a (very) long distant thing, and to be honest neither am I because I know that wouldn't turn out the way I would want it to be. So I've decided that I need to get my head back together and start retracting from my self imposed isolation. But I don't have the faintest idea how. Most girls here just don't seem interested in me. I don't know why. What is wrong with me. I know that I'm not very good looking but everybody has at least something they can offer, right? How come I don't have anything and to make it worse I don't even have the guts to speak to girls. I just don't know what to say. I guess I am just to afraid of being rejected. To be honest, most of my previous relationships have started with girls talking to me not the other way around. I think of it as a lucky break. And that was my strategy, just wait on that lucky break. But between those periods I always end up feeling bad. I want to take control of everything, but I just don't know how.

Have you tried telling them that you have a girlfriend? Not talking about saying that you have one straight up but somewhere in the conversation. I'm going to start using that strategy until I feel that I no longer need to resort to doing that.

---

When she says you could text and message doesn't mean you should jump on the opportunity to ask her out. You should just do that and get to know her first, talk to her for a bit and arouse some interest between each other.

If you don't try at all, you'll never know if there is a chance here or not.

I know her already, the only thing is that I don't have a phone but I do have internet(My life is so incomplete). She'll probably be too busy anyways so I'll probably go back to dating sites again until I have my own transportation. Plus my mom's car has transmission problems so I can't drive since it doesn't work and she has not paid for in awhile.

---

Meeting someone IRL is the way to help weed out those who are just playing games. It seems 95% of people on free dating sites are just there for their own narcissistic pleasure. I did try e-harmony but got the rejection notice.

I don't think anybody in the world had luck with e-harmony at all. I think it's a weird one I might try that one again in the future.

 

[African_weasel]

I convinced myself from the age of about 26 through to 42 that I didn't want/need a relationship, that solitude was my chosen way of life. Of course, I had the same thoughts, relationships are too complicated and there is too much room for heart break and emotional stress. I loved my freedom and independence for a long time. But I did long for romance and companionship after those long years of being alone. Even though the same applies, the complications that is...I still choose being in a relationship over being alone, the good outweighs the bad for me. I guess it's nice to know I have somebody there for me in good and bad times.

^^ This is me, but more in the last 3 or 4 years. However, actively looking for someone (recently - in the past year or so) proved pointless in my case so I decided to just stop and focus on other things. Right now, I'd not want to get involved with someone and then have to deal with the fallout when it ended. You're right about the heartbreak and emotional stress - that stuff just does me in. I might, at some point, decide it's worth it (to take a chance on someone) but that someone would have to be pretty **** special.
I do miss having someone to share my life with though. It's nice to be there for someone and to have someone be there for you.

Sometimes I can't help but actively look around for a gf. However, I feel like I'm a bother to people. so much that I feel like I have to compensate for their time some how. And if I can't somehow compensate them somehow afterwards, then that person will hate me for taking up their time. In a way I have to incentivize people to spend time with me. I don't know why, but I have to somehow convince them within a particular time frame that it is worth them spending a certain amount of time with me.