I'm weird.

[eris]

I'm wierd. I've always been weird. I'm mentally ill but it's more than that. I like weird movies, I like weird music. I dress weird. I say weird things. I'm just weird.

When I was a kid my mom always told me I was weird and no one would like me if I didn't knock it off. I wouldn't say she was abusive as she never beat me but she was very mean and neglectful. I never got birthday presents or school clothes or anything like that.

When I was about 11 I think I finally realized how weird I was. My moms boyfriend was a DJ, and he had a gig at a girls birthday that was about my age. They made me go even though I didn't know anyone. I just sat there quietly. At one point the birthday girl and a few of her friends came up to me and told me I had to leave because it was a private affair. I told her I was with the DJ, but she didn't care and got her mother to make me leave. Her mother told her I wasn't hurting anything and to leave me alone. When I got home he told my mom what happened, and that I didn't even try to make friends. My mom spanked me, and told me I was going to have a hard life. She was right.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Your mother was the one that was ******* weird, not you.

 

[dead]

Your mother was the one that was ******* weird, not you.

+1.

i agree. the weird thing would be to agree with such a cruel statement made by someone that treated you like this. even if they are your parent.

 

[eris]

This is just one example. I've had a lifetime of similar events...

AS for my mom, I think she was always upset because my existing always ruined her plans. The funny thing is that she remembers nothing. I always try to talk to her about things that have happened, even boring things, and she replies with "that never happened !".

 

[Nina]

eris--
I think you're probably a wonderful person, raised by dysfunctional people in a toxic environment. The way you described yourself, you could be any of my fellow artist pals. Most artists are, "weird". Creativity doesn't always lok like it got purchased at the mall...(((eris)))

 

[SophiaGrace]

Didn't some artist guy cut off his ear and paint it?

That was weird, and people think it was creative.

 

[eris]

When I was a teenager I really did do odd things a lot. Like wearing swim goggles outside.

I used to like to mix patterns or clash colors. And I would wear 2 different kinds of socks.

If something was popular or trendy, I would usually avoid it.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Well, even now, your mom still seems like the odd one. Did she really expect you to be best of friends with everyone at a party you weren't invited to? I would have sat out too. It wasn't my affair to go to. And if were my party, I would have probably thought it to be awkward that a mom would send her to child to it because her boyfriend was the DJ. Especially if she weren't there herself.

Your mom never took the time to get to know you. You're not so much weird as we all are unique. Had she taken the time out to get to know you, as a person, then maybe she would have saw it differently. She tried to ignore why her child was a certain way, instead of accepting it and loving it for what it was like a parent is supposed to do. She's still trying to sweep it under the rug, if she really doesn't remember anything. Sounds like her not remembering is her thinking she did nothing wrong.

 

[eris]

Yeah, I was never mad at the girls...I just felt embarassed.
My therapist told me that mean/abusive people often forget what they did because they don't want to believe that they were actually like that.

My mom took me to a psychiatrist when I was about 10 or so, because I was "weird." The doctor told her that she needed to be more involved in my life and that some kids just have a hard time with some things. My mom got really mad (at ME for some reason) and put me in a kids psych hospital for evaluation. I was there for 30 days just because that's protocol. We had a meeting with the doctor once, but all she did was complain that she didn't think she should have to pay child support while I was there.

 

[csmswhs]

i agree with everyone in this thread, your a diamond born in a coal pile

 

[NOAH_FX]

Agreed as we'll, Eris you probably will never realize it, but your a product of your environment. I thought i was weird all my life. Than when i was 18 i just left home, my parents didn't hear from me for 2 years. I met a bunch of punk's and ended up finding out were all weird. Some of us accept it, some of us fight against it, but were all strange compared to someone else.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

AS for my mom, I think she was always upset because my existing always ruined her plans.

Wow, well she needs to grow the fresia up and stop being selfish.

NEWSFLASH: life changes after we become parents. We have new responsibilities, and the hallmark of adult behavior is stepping up to them and accepting them.

It pisses me off to see grown adults bellyaching over all the might-have-beens of their single life that they are completely blind to how wonderful and rewarding being a parent can be.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Yeah, I was never mad at the girls...I just felt embarassed.
My therapist told me that mean/abusive people often forget what they did because they don't want to believe that they were actually like that.

My mom took me to a psychiatrist when I was about 10 or so, because I was "weird." The doctor told her that she needed to be more involved in my life and that some kids just have a hard time with some things. My mom got really mad (at ME for some reason) and put me in a kids psych hospital for evaluation. I was there for 30 days just because that's protocol. We had a meeting with the doctor once, but all she did was complain that she didn't think she should have to pay child support while I was there.

All of this could have been avoided if she had just learned you better. There was really no reason for her to do that to you. You didn't need to be in a ward; You needed some mother-child time with her. And believe me when I say this, later on in life, she's going to wish she had spent more time with you. Don't be surprised when she tells you that.

As for the mean/abusive thing, I think it's true. My ex is like that. Whenever I told him something mean he did, he magically didn't remember, or it never happened, or I was exaggerating. He claims to have a bad memory, but he remembers everything. So, I think it was him not wanting to believe he could be like that.

 

[cheaptrickfan]

The way you described yourself, you could be any of my fellow artist pals. Most artists are, "weird".

That's how I console myself.

 

[JamaisVu]

There's nothing wrong with being weird, I like eccentric people. It sounds like your mom is the one who lacks social sense, it's perfectly natural to not interact with anyone at a party you aren't invited to, nobody would be comfortable in that situation. And putting you in a psych ward is surely overreacting.

 

[Minus]

.... ended up finding out were all weird. Some of us accept it, some of us fight against it, but were all strange compared to someone else.

Yup, some even revel in it and attempt to be even more weird.

Eris, from what you describe your mother was out of touch and unfortunately her child was left to deal with that as best as she could at such a young age.

 

[epic fale boy]

I'm definitely weird. I don't mind so much, but I do mind people judging me because I don't fit into their normal little idea of a normal little world.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I kissed a girl and I liked it. And I liked it. *sings*

Oh wait...that's not what you meant.

 

[Nina]

(Today 05:16 AM)NOAH_FX Wrote:
.... ended up finding out were all weird. Some of us accept it, some of us fight against it, but were all strange compared to someone else


It's all our own uniique, diversity and I do think we need to appreciate it and not live with a ruler in our hands always measuring ourselves against others. WE GOOD ENOUGH... Just the way we are...

---

Epic--
Every time I read one of you posts I feel that you're a warm and very sweet person. If that's weird this world should have a lot more of it.

SophiaGrace--
I LMAO @ this!....

I kissed a girl and I liked it. And I liked it. *sings*

Oh wait...that's not what you meant.

 

[Sean]

i agree with everyone in this thread, your a diamond born in a coal pile

This is so right!