CenotaphGirl
Under the dirt, that’s my home ⚰️
I spent the day longing to be in his arms, I don't know why... maybe I just wanted to feel safe.
I never feel safe just on my own anymore, even when i'm indoors.
I know for most men, simply being in their arms without anything else well... is not an option...
However, I still longed for it. I pictured calming down, breathing in sync, smudging my make up on his shirt.
Crying a little... who am I kidding... crying a lot. I just want to be his problem...
I don't want him to be able to function if I am not okay... as thats how I feel about him.
Oh hey toxic traits! I knew you wasn't too far away... in case you wondered why I am so alone... there ya go.
I don't deserve to be cared about, but I want him to care anyway... tell me its not my fault i'm all messed up and crazy...
Make someone else responsible.... I know it's not true but it's just what I wanna hear...
I want him to play with my hair, cuddle me tight, tight enough to know he's strong, to know he wont let go.
I dont want him to let go, but he will, he ******* will. When he lets go I'll just make small talk, yeah that'll work,
Pretend I don't wanna die as my breathing starts racing, the feeling of calm is quickly replaced with embarrassment as I lift my head to see my make up on his shirt.
The safety... turned to vulnerability. Excuse me, I'm crazy.