reynard_muldrake
Well-known member
2015 was supposed to be the year where I managed to accomplish some personal goals. Dropping some weight, finding new friends, developing more independence by getting my license, and maybe looking into a return to education. The first few months were fine. I was studying for my driver's permit and lowering my consumption of sweets/junk food. Somewhere along the way, though, hopelessness sank in. Attempts at self-improvement slowly tapered off as the year continued on. In fact, I ended up gaining more weight. A year that had so much promise managed to just offer so much disappointment and melancholia. And forget about friends. There was one who held promise, but just drifted away.
I just see my life as a series of failed attempts to get "back on track". It's why I haven't been able to regain the drive to correct any problems. Existing like this is the last thing I need, yet I find myself physically and mentally unable to develop motivation of any kind. I would prefer to not exist at all than to just continue on as a shell of a human being. People like to toss around the quote "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". Somehow I seem to miss 100% of the shots I *do* take.
I just see my life as a series of failed attempts to get "back on track". It's why I haven't been able to regain the drive to correct any problems. Existing like this is the last thing I need, yet I find myself physically and mentally unable to develop motivation of any kind. I would prefer to not exist at all than to just continue on as a shell of a human being. People like to toss around the quote "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take". Somehow I seem to miss 100% of the shots I *do* take.