Is loneliness a state of being or a state of mind?

[BeyondShy]

Some advice…be a little more open and kind.

Ain't that the truth... The people responding you to, Beyond, are trying to help. Help with some advice or ideas or just a supporting shoulder. But being rude and ignorant to those who don't tell you what you want to hear will not do well by you.

I can try to be kinder as you said but I don't know how to be more open.

 

[oh-kay?]

Nothing worthwhile is given freely. Effort has to be made and in meeting people the effort requires you to be open and honest about yourself. Nothing works better than being yourself and putting everybody at ease with that person. People, for the most part can sense something wrong about a person who is defensive or stand offish.

In order to gain something you must be able to open yourself to hurt and I'm not sure you are ready for something like that. All I can say is the payout is tremendous when you finally find that one person that will be your first true friend. Don't get me wrong, there will be a multitude of people who you will become acquainted with, but your list of true friends will be much smaller. Just remember that friendship is not just a relationship. It is an honor and a duty that works both ways. Some of my friends are closer to me than my family.

 

[BeyondShy]

Nothing worthwhile is given freely. Effort has to be made and in meeting people the effort requires you to be open and honest about yourself. Nothing works better than being yourself and putting everybody at ease with that person. People, for the most part can sense something wrong about a person who is defensive or stand offish.

I don't know how to do this.

In order to gain something you must be able to open yourself to hurt and I'm not sure you are ready for something like that. All I can say is the payout is tremendous when you finally find that one person that will be your first true friend. Don't get me wrong, there will be a multitude of people who you will become acquainted with, but your list of true friends will be much smaller. Just remember that friendship is not just a relationship. It is an honor and a duty that works both ways. Some of my friends are closer to me than my family.

I don't think I am ready to get hurt either.

And just reading about what you have makes me so envious.

 

[HoodedMonk]

I don't know how to be more open.

Well, sometimes people get caught in negative feedback loops. Where they only look for the negatives in situations, and then when others tell them their perspective, they immediately shut down because it doesn't fit into their worldview.

I've seen you do this sometimes.

 

[BeyondShy]

Well, sometimes people get caught in negative feedback loops. Where they only look for the negatives in situations, and then when others tell them their perspective, they immediately shut down because it doesn't fit into their worldview.

I've seen you do this sometimes.

I will take your word for it. I'm sure you are right.

 

[HoodedMonk]

Well, sometimes people get caught in negative feedback loops. Where they only look for the negatives in situations, and then when others tell them their perspective, they immediately shut down because it doesn't fit into their worldview.

I've seen you do this sometimes.

I will take your word for it. I'm sure you are right.

I think you're just saying this to placate me...

 

[BeyondShy]

I think you're just saying this to placate me...

No. I am actively trying to take a step back to try and see what you folks see.

 

[oh-kay?]

I don't know how to do this.

I don't think I am ready to get hurt either.

And just reading about what you have makes me so envious.

Why are you afraid to be vulnerable when being vulnerable is your greatest assett?

[video=youtube]

 

[HoodedMonk]

I think you're just saying this to placate me...

No. I am actively trying to take a step back to try and see what you folks see.

Okay. I trust you are saying the truth here.