Is there something your worth is tied to?

[Doubt The Rabbit]

A common and possibly dangerous thought is that one's only merit is what one can do or be for others as opposed to what one is in and of oneself.

I'm curious about how many other people have a sense of worth that's tied to something that they do as opposed to just feeling good about themselves regardless of their usefulness to those around them. Is there something that dictates how much you're worth? Being a good friend or spouse? Taking care of your parents or siblings or children? Doing well at work? Taking care of your pets?

 

[SophiaGrace]

I used to. Idk how I feel anymore about self worth. It all seems so fragile and new and easily broken if I am not careful.

 

[ardour]

The respect of colleagues matters to me, perhaps more than it needs to. So "work" for me.

 

[ladyforsaken]

I'm sure that I can make myself worthy to a lot of things in my life like of those you mentioned e.g. good friend, good daughter, good stranger, good pet taker etc. But the actual reason for living or actual worth of living? My actual worth in life? I'm still searching to be honest. Not sure if I'll ever find the answer. What am I really worthy of? *shrugs*

 

[TropicalStarfish]

There is nothing I'm tired to that gives me any sense of personal worth. I mostly just am, and my ego is unsatisfied with it.

 

[Limlim]

I learned from the first of Nolans batman movies that what you do makes up what you are. Are you saying this isn't the case? Dawsons creek girl said so though!

But seriously, how is a person inherently worth something if they don't do anything? Could be worth something to themselves of course, but that doesn't require any validation.

 

[EveWasFramed]

A common and possibly dangerous thought is that one's only merit is what one can do or be for others as opposed to what one is in and of oneself.

Is there something that dictates how much you're worth? Being a good friend or spouse? Taking care of your parents or siblings or children? Doing well at work?

These are all the things that define who I am. I don't feel it's my ONLY merit, but it's certainly a big part of it. Your actions and how you treat others...it's part of who you are in my opinion. OTHERS may judge me on what I "do" but for me, it's only a part of who I am.

 

[Tiina63]

Doesn't everyone have value simply because they are human? Someone who is severely brain damaged and who is unable to care for themselves let alone do anything for others has the same intrinsic worth as someone who is capable of helping others and who does so.

 

[Limlim]

I don't really agree with that. Simply existing doesn't mean you are as valuable as everyone else.

Now that doesn't mean anyone is worthless to the point where they shouldn't exist. But I find it hard to grasp the concept that we are all of equal worth. I'm certainly not worth as much as a great number if amazing people out there.

 

[Lilianna]

Doesn't everyone have value simply because they are human? Someone who is severely brain damaged and who is unable to care for themselves let alone do anything for others has the same intrinsic worth as someone who is capable of helping others and who does so.

This^^^ Exactly what I was thinking.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

I learned from the first of Nolans batman movies that what you do makes up what you are. Are you saying this isn't the case? Dawsons creek girl said so though!

But seriously, how is a person inherently worth something if they don't do anything? Could be worth something to themselves of course, but that doesn't require any validation.

Haha, what I was referring to was self-worth, and that's where I think the misunderstanding came about. Take, for instance, a starving artist. He's doing "something" that distinguishes him from a baby or or a doctor or a paralegal or a gaming basement dweller or a comatose patient. Is his self-worth is tied to how well he paints? Would he hate himself if he or others didn't like his paintings? Would he off himself if he lost his hands or art became outlawed? Or does his self-worth come from a place that lets him to feel like he's allowed to live even if the thing he thought he did well turned out to be something he couldn't do at all?

A common and possibly dangerous thought is that one's only merit is what one can do or be for others as opposed to what one is in and of oneself.

Is there something that dictates how much you're worth? Being a good friend or spouse? Taking care of your parents or siblings or children? Doing well at work?

These are all the things that define who I am. I don't feel it's my ONLY merit, but it's certainly a big part of it. Your actions and how you treat others...it's part of who you are in my opinion. OTHERS may judge me on what I "do" but for me, it's only a part of who I am.

I think I felt this way, too. What makes it so hard in my own case is that what is only a part of who I am is taken to be all of what I am. The part of me that does for certain others is the only part of any interest in my life, and I suppose the rest of me starts to focus on doing whatever gets me the most positive feedback - to the point where it becomes all of me. So if I cannot even perfect the one thing I've focused my entire life on, if I don't have that one merit, I might as well go die. That's how my worth is tied to one thing. But I'm just being cranky.

 

[Bob Arctor]

I make a pretty mean quesadilla.

 

[Doubt The Rabbit]

I bet mine is better than yours.

 

[Limlim]

I learned from the first of Nolans batman movies that what you do makes up what you are. Are you saying this isn't the case? Dawsons creek girl said so though!

But seriously, how is a person inherently worth something if they don't do anything? Could be worth something to themselves of course, but that doesn't require any validation.

Haha, what I was referring to was self-worth, and that's where I think the misunderstanding came about. Take, for instance, a starving artist. He's doing "something" that distinguishes him from a baby or or a doctor or a paralegal or a gaming basement dweller or a comatose patient. Is his self-worth is tied to how well he paints? Would he hate himself if he or others didn't like his paintings? Would he off himself if he lost his hands or art became outlawed? Or does his self-worth come from a place that lets him to feel like he's allowed to live even if the thing he thought he did well turned out to be something he couldn't do at all?

If he wanted to off himself that way he could, but I don't see why he would want to. He could learn to do something else, unless he became completely helpless. In which case it now falls to other people to determine his worth, in which they will do so by helping him survive.

To take for instance your sister. She is worth quite a bit because she is important to you and your mom, and she did it without having to have become a doctor or athlete. As with objects, people are worth what someone is willing to pay for. In this case instead of money you think she's worth your love and time.

As for as where someone feels where their self worth comes from, that's going to be something that's different for everyone and goes into a whole other set of issues like how people identify themselves and whatnot. I'm way too lazy to get into that frame of mind to discuss it to that extent however.

 

[Bob Arctor]

I bet mine is better than yours.

I challenge you to a quesadilla off!

 

[ladyforsaken]

I bet mine is better than yours.

I challenge you to a quesadilla off!

Yummy. Can I be the judge?