It should have been me !

[pancakes_online]

To be honest, she sounds like a bit of a floozy (lul).

If you don't want to talk to her anymore, maybe you shouldn't. She snubbed you for many years, something which shouldn't be ignored.

Well I haven't heard from her since May so maybe she will let things slide.

---

I do feel your pain. But in different ways. I have a friend who is married and she has told me she married her husband for the money and security, status. Yes she has said that outloud. I happen to offer her something more emotional, as a friend. I value that, but recently when I needed some support, she vanished. Such is life. People do things for all kinds of reasons and they are not all down to you. I am so sorry that you loved someone and watched this happen. It hurts.

I once went to a wedding of a woman I loved or had a crush on, or whatever - and because I loved her, I was happy she got married to someone she loved but it did hurt having to do a reading at the ceremony as her very good friend! Our relationships are unfortunately complicated and messy

Me and you must be different. I couldn't be the 'friend' of any woman. All the so called female friends I have had - it either never lasts or they disappear for weeks on end.

---

If you can't be the friend of any woman, why continue corresponding with her?

Didn't you say she used to ignore you for years?

She likes the energy and attention she gets from you. Stop being a beta and delete her number.

 

[Triple Bogey]

To be honest, she sounds like a bit of a floozy (lul).

If you don't want to talk to her anymore, maybe you shouldn't. She snubbed you for many years, something which shouldn't be ignored.

Well I haven't heard from her since May so maybe she will let things slide.

---

I do feel your pain. But in different ways. I have a friend who is married and she has told me she married her husband for the money and security, status. Yes she has said that outloud. I happen to offer her something more emotional, as a friend. I value that, but recently when I needed some support, she vanished. Such is life. People do things for all kinds of reasons and they are not all down to you. I am so sorry that you loved someone and watched this happen. It hurts.

I once went to a wedding of a woman I loved or had a crush on, or whatever - and because I loved her, I was happy she got married to someone she loved but it did hurt having to do a reading at the ceremony as her very good friend! Our relationships are unfortunately complicated and messy

Me and you must be different. I couldn't be the 'friend' of any woman. All the so called female friends I have had - it either never lasts or they disappear for weeks on end.

---

If you can't be the friend of any woman, why continue corresponding with her?

Didn't you say she used to ignore you for years?

She likes the energy and attention she gets from you. Stop being a beta and delete her number.

---

she didn't ignore me for years it was months. She goes missing for a few months and then sends me a text wanting to meet up completely out the blue.

 

[Triple Bogey]

I got a text from her a few days ago wanting to meet up.
I sent one back saying I am sometimes free on Tuesday. She hasn't replied yet.

 

[pancakes_online]

From what you've said I think she may honestly be a genuine friend. She takes the initiative to meet up which counts for a lot in my book. A few years ago I told I female friend how I felt and she pretty much cut me off after that. She said it would be nice to keep in contact, but not once has she ever contacted me. From the sounds of it your friend has more integrity, so unless being around her makes you feel bad, I think you should cherish the friendship. They don't come around very often.

 

[Triple Bogey]

From what you've said I think she may honestly be a genuine friend. She takes the initiative to meet up which counts for a lot in my book. A few years ago I told I female friend how I felt and she pretty much cut me off after that. She said it would be nice to keep in contact, but not once has she ever contacted me. From the sounds of it your friend has more integrity, so unless being around her makes you feel bad, I think you should cherish the friendship. They don't come around very often.

Oh yes I think she is genuine. Nobody else wants to meet up with me for a coffee. I know people tend to say things and then not bother.

The one stumbling block is 4 years ago when she worked at my place, there was loads of rumours the manager was screwing her. He was married and also I hated him. He was a rude, ignorant c**t. I was so glad when he got moved. The woman denied anything happened, told me face to face but the saying 'there is no smoke without fire' - it was obvious something was going on. Everybody knew. And I can't understand why she would go with that wanker. At the end of the day she chose him over me. That stings a lot. She obviously moved on from the manager and has now got married. I don't mind that one bit. From what I hear her husband is a nice guy.

But her choosing that manager. He must be the most ignorant bloke I have ever known.

 

[pancakes_online]

Well I couldn't talk to her again if I liked her in that way, but it's up to you. The manager guy probably escalated with her quickly and had game. If you like a woman tell her straight away.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Well I couldn't talk to her again if I liked her in that way, but it's up to you. The manager guy probably escalated with her quickly and had game. If you like a woman tell her straight away.

I did tell her relatively straight away. (For me anyway - months not years)
But yeah I will keep her arms left. It isn't a big deal anymore.

 

[Lonely_pokemon]

Imo life is too short to spend your time with someone who is bringing you sad memories. If you dont want to meet her just tell her. Leave the past to past and start enjoying your life with people who didnt hurt you like she did.

 

[Triple Bogey]

Imo life is too short to spend your time with someone who is bringing you sad memories. If you dont want to meet her just tell her. Leave the past to past and start enjoying your life with people who didnt hurt you like she did.

thanks Lonely_pokemon