LeilaniAWarrior
Active member
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2013
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Mostly everytime I go to sleep I have dreams of being in a forest and I'm running away trying to get out but I can't. Each time I try to run out I come back to the same place. And I feel like this everyday that I am trying to run away from past because I do not want to confront it anymore. My Depression is so deep that it is causing my heart to hurt and it is suffocating me. I just wish I had more people that I can talk to more people that would understand me. I just feel like giving in sometimes and people ask me how can you be depressed and majoring in social work. That's not true everyone has been there to that place where they have a "fresia it" attitude because there is nothing I can do about it. And no one around me seems to care. The past hurts so much and when bad things happen I just mixed that in with the past and end up crying with swollen eyes in the bathroom and start screaming silently to myself. So I started cutting and I've always been a cutter and some how it takes the pain away it feels like a burning sensation almost better than sex. But it's temporary pleasure, the past is still creeping up on me. I don't know if I will make it to 30 I just can see it yet all I can do is just wait for a little while longer and hope that maybe things will get better. Maybe there is an escape out of the forest..