Low self esteem/can't stay mad.. can't move on

[lostatsea]

I know I have low self esteem. In therapy my therapist constantly tells me I'm always being way too hard on myself, and taking all the blame.

I also know it's impossible for me to stay mad at anyone. This makes it near impossible for me to move on from my situation. I can be so self assured that I was used, treated like crap, and it wasn't all my fault. But within days that all melts away.

Is anyone else like me? What can I do? Some people just get annoyed and angry all the time, which I think is a bad character trait. But I almost never get angry, and rarely get annoyed. At the same time my default emotion now is sadness which makes it very hard to move forward.

 

[Iceman1978]

You sound like me. I would describe it as melancholy, which is what I have a very deep sense of. I have an extremely poor self image in that I believe that I'm ugly, so much so that I believe I'm too ugly for love. I've been told this before, and as much as I try not to be bitter about it, the only thing I can do is try to move on and not think about it. I try not to let it consume me, but sometimes it's very hard to do.

 

[Seeker]

Well, we are looking at the two extreme opposite emotions when it comes to human interactions here, anger and sadness. Both emotions are really intense, and each one brings different consequences. Even noticed that if you either get mad at someone for hurting you or get sad about it, the result is the same? Emotional pain. So I think that the answer lies somewhere in the middle, that is forgiving those who hurt us and try to patch things up, or just cutting them off from our life and try to forget about what they did to us. At least that is the way of thinking that has brought me peace these days. But then again, I'm not a psychologist, just a guy who wants to help, so yeah.

 

[Lowlander]

I can relate to your story very much. I am the same, to a certain extent. I too, can not stay mad at anyone, only in a few select cases, I will stay mad, otherwise, the madness will cease over time, I'd talk to that person, tell them I've put everything behind me, that it everything is past. However, they might still have treated me badly, I just can't help it. It is hard to effectively "move on" and banish people out of our minds or lives when it is really necessary. But trust me, you are certainly not alone. The thing is, you do not even have to be the one who is at fault, even if an other person is at fault, you could still feel guilty.

There is no real solution, other than that you should keep trying to really "move on" and banish people out of your head, out of your life, if need be.