missing someone

[Solace]

I am missing someone. I am miserably lonely. I am utterly homesick.

The only problem is A) don't know who i'm missing B) spend a lot of time with my family whom I love and have a sort of decent relationship with and C) I AM at home.

I'm homesick at home. Anyone else ever feel like that?

And on top of that: tonight I am starting to flip out about things I don't even really believe. I guess you would say i'm delusional. But that is to be expected for someone like me. Maybe you could call this whole longing for home, someone I don't remember but once knew... maybe you could call it all a delusion.

But wanting to find that person? I think that's totally sane. I'm so lonely. I've never felt like I connected with anyone. I've got one close friend but i'm still not all the way there with her either. All my life i've been missing someone. I don't want to accept that it's the baby my mom lost early in her pregnancy with me, because that means there's no finding that person.

 

[evanescencefan91]

ya sometimes i feel like i just want to go home, sometimes in my head i even say it, even though i'm already at home, kinda weird,

just need some kind of comfort

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've felt like that before....It didn't matter what i did or didn't do.
I felt something or someone was missing out of my life.
yes...a sort of homesick feeling like I didn't belong...

I went into a deep depression for the past year.
while i didn't have the grestest relationship with my dad.
He nevered treated me bad....
My mom is very supportive and loves me very much...however i still felt lost and alone.
Also at the sametime i didn't want to be touched by anyone.

I love Jenni very much and she ment the world to me.
There's nothing I can do or say that will bring her back.
i used to wake up every day with thoughts of her on my mind.
Sometimes...I'll even talk to her as if she's still here...still alive.
Yes...delusional. I felt crazy at times...
But it's about as normal as a thing i can do , If i lose someone i love.

Maybe i don't feel the same as you do...
and maybe the circumstance are a little differnt.

It's good that you're writing about it.

I've been writing alot...
Yes...acceptence is not easy...but it was a begining of the healing process for me.
I broke down and cried again....recently.
Someone held me tight, a person i hardly knew...
I let all the tear out...I said what i really want to say after all these time.
The person told me ..."it's not your fault" as I cried uncontrolably.