My Pet Daemon, Loneliness

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Skydancer37

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I had a dream a long time ago. I say "dream", but the lucidity of it was more than mere dream 

In it I saw myself as a hideous, lonely demon thing. A grey/white body, bloodless and cold.

It's, my, eyes were red coals, burning hot with anger, but my environment was bitterly cold.

I sat on a cold rock in deep misery. I needed to have some company, but every time someone came up to me, I grew angry at them immediately and threatened them until they left.

I woke up and drew what I saw. I have it to my friend who kept the drawing it was so vivid. I'm not really an artist, so it was strange how it just came out of me.

My fear, is that this dream was prophetic in some way, and that I'm headed for a very lonely existence, beyond my current self isolation.

I don't like people. They don't like me. And yet, I ache to feel some unique connection with someone. Someone able to break through this stone, cold demon heart. 

I nurse my loneliness, I used to pride myself on being a loner, and now, I'm going to turn into hemophiliac Gollum with sauron eyes.

Urgh, the self pity of me. I don't even like me. :club:
 
Dreams can mean something deeper that's happening in our lifes.
Or it may mean nothing and is just random. Only you would know?

This translates to me like your after company but when its offered you push it away.

Maybe this is what you do in your conscious life?
 
It's fine to allow yourself a little self-pity, as long as it doesn't consume you. I think a lot of people feel it more often than they would care to admit.
 
ewomack said:
It's fine to allow yourself a little self-pity, as long as it doesn't consume you. I think a lot of people feel it more often than they would care to admit.

This perspective was very useful. I'm going to think about this carefully. Thank you!
 
Skydancer37 said:
ewomack said:
It's fine to allow yourself a little self-pity, as long as it doesn't consume you. I think a lot of people feel it more often than they would care to admit.

This perspective was very useful. I'm going to think about this carefully. Thank you!

I hope it helps! Take care!
 
Skydancer37, it's reasonable to think that our lives and daily activities affect our thoughts as we sleep and dream at night.  Rather than demons haunting you with a looming prophesy, perhaps your subconscious mind is merely being influenced by your daily life, feelings, and activities.  Let me comment on your own telling statement:

"I don't like people. They don't like me. And yet, I ache to feel some unique connection with someone. Someone able to break through this stone, cold demon heart."

Are you aware that the scientific evidence for a Creator of the universe, world, and life as we know it is overwhelming, and that further evidence points to God and the Bible as the ultimate source of truth for determining our purpose and path in life?  Given that, you should consider that you were created for a reason: to know and love God, and to love and care for others.  So, life is about relationships.

If life is about relationships, which even many non-Christians will concede, then you can appreciate that being alone is counter productive.  To not build relationships is a wasted life. In your case, I don't know what your beliefs are, but might I suggest that you focus on God first as your Creator, Lord, and Savior? That will change your heart and allow you to work better on the relationships with others that you innately desire and need.   
 

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