Need some advice. Should one break all communications with an ex?

[VeganAtheist]

Basically, I was in a long distance relationship with someone from the UK for 6 months. It didn't work out. She is in another relationship.

I told her that I would always be there if she needed - stuff people in love say - and I meant it then and still do now. I haven't had any communications with her since Easter. I feel like an ass for not attempting to contact her.

So I planned on sending an email tonight that simply said:
Hey [her name].

I just wanted to let you know that I am still here for you if you need me. You can always email, call, text, etc. if you need anything.

Hope all is well with you.

~my name


Short. Simply. Emotionless.
Harmless, right?

Since I am being irrational as it is, I will put this up as a poll. Whichever receives the most votes is what I will do.

 

[ctarchives]

Sometimes, it is just better to let go. I know you mean well, but she is in another relationship. Move on, my friend, but never forget.

 

[kamya]

Yup. Until you are over them. Then you can think about talking to them again. If you want to.

I've had good experiences reconnecting with exes as friends (wayyy after breaking up and cutting contact). I've also had one or two terrible experiences. It just depends on the people. For sure cutting contact is the best way to go though.

 

[choxie]

I agree with the above.

 

[Wanderer145]

I was thinking of doing something similar, haven't spoken to the person in nearly a year haven't looked at her facebook, blocked her on email and everything else after I found out she was with someone else. As I haven't met anyone and we split nearly 2 and a half years ago, I realise even though I think about her there is no benefit to knowing how she is and at the most it will only bring some pain back. Wait until you're happy where you are and you are indifferent completely so it will be like talking to someone with no emotional hold. Who knows it might be better at that point to speak to them.

 

[jaguarundi]

You have to ask yourself, are you really wanting to stay in touch to keep your word, for her sake and all that. Or is it just your wanting a sliver of hope to cling on to, that she will be in touch and come back to you?

I would guess that there might be some wanting to cling to hope here, and you need to shut the door on it, I am sorry to say. It will be bad for you to keep the hope alive, having no contact will help you get over it, in time.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I would cut her off entirely. From what you've said, I don't think you are in a place right now to just be friends with her. You will eventually make yourself worse by continuing to try to communicate with her. Perhaps in the future you could try to gain a friendship with her....AFTER you have let go of any more romantic ideas about her, but for now, it's unlikely to be a wise idea.

 

[Tiina63]

I agree with the above posters that not contacting her would be better. Maybe one day, when you no longer have strong feelings for her, you will be able to be friends with her. Or by then you may have moved on to the extent that you no longer want or need her in your life. Either way, I feel very sad that you are hurting so much and I hope that one day you will find someone who will be just as special to you as she is.

 

[9006]

I would. It's never a good idea for two people to stay in contact like that after a relationship, particularly if there were any strong feelings on either part. It's something that plays with your emotions when if you had no communication it's much easier to be able to get over that person.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yup. Until you are over them. Then you can think about talking to them again. If you want to.

This.

 

[painter's radio]

Yup. Until you are over them. Then you can think about talking to them again. If you want to.

This.

That.

 

[murmi97]

I am still here for you if you need me.

That doesn't sound emotionless to me actually.

Since the promise is what demands further communication and since it seems to still be important enough to you to keep(which I really admire by the way ), I think you should contact her once to ask her to let you free of it.

 

[Rosewood]

It depends on the Ex. You have to consider your life, If this person is toxic to you no. Some people have children or a financial reason to make a formal arrangement with little emotional attachment. Other people are friends for years.

 

[VeganAtheist]

I think you all are probably right. Emotions are still too high for me to send any type of email to her.
Maybe in a few months when I am not still as emotionally attached.

Thanks for your input!