Sci-Fi said:
I'm not saying to have to start being a fake happy person, but you really need to work on what you are going through and pull yourself out of it. If not you will lose every last single person in your life. Even here on the forums you'll soon see people will stop replying to you, they get tired of trying to always build people up. There comes a point where even though many of us know what you are going through we need a break.
Ahem, but this is EXACTLY what the original poster will do. He will put on a mask and say "I'm fine." or "i'm good" everyt time someone asks him or her how they are. His true, troubled, and depressed self will get repressed. It will still be there, just like a repressed gay person's gayness is still there. He (or she - i'm just going to refer to Fvantom as he from now on). They still feel like crap. They still feel miserable. Only, now, they cannot be themselves. Not being yourself can invoke several negative feelings.
1) of disconnection from those around them. (which is actually a risk factor for suicide)
2) Added feelings of stress from having to keep the mask on
3) Feeling like no one actually cares about their pain because they're subtlely forced not to express it or face the consequence of losing their friends, their work, and any little support they have. So the person feels invalidated and that no one cares.
I am not saying that the OP should not try to actively deal with their depression. I encourage them to do so.
I also disagree that the problem lies within the OP because they have problems. have you ever thought that maybe the problem lies within those that respond to the OP in the sense that all of us are laypersons? We do not know how to therapeutically listen to others, and we do not know therapeutic techniques. We do not extensively know the nuances of how mental illnesses can present themselves.
Maybe it is US that should learn how to talk (or at least talk better) to those that suffer from chronic depression/feelings of loneliness, rather than those that are suffering, being forced to wear a mask and yet still be in pain. Maybe it is a problem with US for not knowing how to actually help them or talk to them (since they keep coming back).
WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.
Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.
We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask
http://www.potw.org/archive/potw8.html