Paranoid Android
Member
Hey everyone, its been a while.
I started college back in August, and it has been the most life changing thing that has ever happened to me. Back in high school and middle school, I had some serious problems making new friends and the friends that I did have were either incredibly abusive or they were too strange for me to really connect with. Now that I am in college, I have met people who I think I can relate to. We all share many common interests and we are quite open about our problems with one another. I trusted them enough to even let them know about my depersonalization disorder, and I always thought that would be a secret that I would take to the grave. These people are some of the greatest people I have ever met, and I would feel terrible if I lost any of them.
But there is always a lingering thought that haunts me. It's one that I am positive is not true, but it always makes me feel sick when I think about it: what if they don't really like me? It seems like a stupid thought to have, especially since they have never shown any real sign of distrust of me, but this thought always haunts me. Nearly every single friend I have had has messed me over in some way or another (either by physically hurting me or by mentally hurting me), and I feel like this might be coming back to hurt me now when I am so close to being normal. I want to be able to put my full trust into them, but this thought is keeping me at a distance.
How do I make these stupid thoughts? I want to be able to trust people again
I started college back in August, and it has been the most life changing thing that has ever happened to me. Back in high school and middle school, I had some serious problems making new friends and the friends that I did have were either incredibly abusive or they were too strange for me to really connect with. Now that I am in college, I have met people who I think I can relate to. We all share many common interests and we are quite open about our problems with one another. I trusted them enough to even let them know about my depersonalization disorder, and I always thought that would be a secret that I would take to the grave. These people are some of the greatest people I have ever met, and I would feel terrible if I lost any of them.
But there is always a lingering thought that haunts me. It's one that I am positive is not true, but it always makes me feel sick when I think about it: what if they don't really like me? It seems like a stupid thought to have, especially since they have never shown any real sign of distrust of me, but this thought always haunts me. Nearly every single friend I have had has messed me over in some way or another (either by physically hurting me or by mentally hurting me), and I feel like this might be coming back to hurt me now when I am so close to being normal. I want to be able to put my full trust into them, but this thought is keeping me at a distance.
How do I make these stupid thoughts? I want to be able to trust people again