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DisturbedHell

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i do not know why the hell my thread was locked up and why are people saying such nasty things to me?

http://www.alonelylife.com/showthread.php?tid=29263&page=4

yes i admit i was harsh but ever thought why did i say that yes my humanity is lost but why?

All of you are only good at scolding and flaming me..

but do your ever understand the true message behind what i was trying to get through?

Ever been in my shoes and embarrassment to see what i have through?

How i was mercilessly rejected at dates?

Without waiting for me to give an explanation my thread was locked up..

If your say i am bad, the way your were shooting back at me it makes no difference between me and you.. we are of the same breed...

Do your really understood or gave me a chance to explain things?

Apparently your are no better, you do not bother to see further but only on the surface of what i am writing..

And to that guy who mentioned a wig..

Do you know once i wore a wig on a date and the wig slipped off how embarrassing was it? I never heard from the date again.

sometimes you can be a nice person in life but people take advantage of you or discriminate base on looks.. apparently you do not know how it feels.

so much for all the hypo critic words..

if wigs could solve all.... after mentioning to another date i wore a wig, i never heard from the guy again.

and to lady forsaken who says she has cancer... i have PCOS i do not know if i can conceive or not in future...

happy to hear that? Yes i have lost all my humanity...


You have no idea how much my stupid friend hurt me..

she was flicking her thick long wavy hair and said "oh come on its only your hair not as if you have been raped, grow up.. then oh i am going to rebond my hair this saturday... "

why the hell did nobody criticise her but me? ha...

if she was someone like me, i could have taken it in my stride yes..

but she had so much more than me and she is saying it in such a sarcastic manner.. this is why i became so sick wrong or right.. if she was nicer i would not have been so mad.. if she had said "try seeing a doctor while getting a wig to cover up" i would have been more pacified..


but instead she said "oh come on its only your hair not as if you have been raped, grow up"

Why the hell did she ever bring up rape in the 1st place? if your claim rape is psychological and intimate while hair is superficial?
you are comparing diff things

apparently there are idiots out there who do not see facts and choose to flame me..


and to eve who was framed - have you ever showed respect to me?

you are just as superficial like others. you see what your eyes what to see but not the true message..

forget it
 
Listen what your friend said to you was not right. That has been acknowledged though you claim it has not. I am sure it hurt, but that in no way gives you the right to turn around and spit hate at others, and wish upon them to suffer.

The fact that she said that about Rape, was not an okay thing to say, I acknowledge that. But to me you are doing not only the same thing your friend did to you, you are doing far worse! Because you are wishing ill upon other people, innocent people who have not wronged you in any way.

Many people on that thread reached out to you with sympathy and compassion and tried to offer what help they could. And you turned around and kept spitting the same vile remarks, about rape and your hair, they are two different things and just because your friend linked them together dose not make it okay for you to do the same.

You said stuff that truly hurt someone I care about, someone who always tries to be supportive and helpful.

You are clearly not well and need help. But this is not a place for you to come and wish ill will towards people. What you are doing buy saying the things that you have is much worse than your friends remark. Your friend was at least trying to help you feel better. Granted it was not in the right way. But at least she was not wishing upon other ill will.

I hope this thread gets closed right after this post, because there is no argument you could possibly have that could make wishing suffering on others okay.

I am a very compassionate person, but you are pushing the limits of my compassion.

Please go get some help! Please. You don't deserve to be suffering the way you are. And I know that to say the things that you have that you must be in a horrible place, and I am sorry for that. BUt that does not give you free reign to treat others with such hate. I wish you the best and hope you can find a way to have some peace in your life. Please take care.
 
Garbageman said:
Listen what your friend said to you was not right. That has been acknowledged though you claim it has not. I am sure it hurt, but that in no way gives you the right to turn around and spit hate at others, and wish upon them to suffer.

The fact that she said that about Rape, was not an okay thing to say, I acknowledge that. But to me you are doing not only the same thing your friend did to you, you are doing far worse! Because you are wishing ill upon other people, innocent people who have not wronged you in any way.

Many people on that thread reached out to you with sympathy and compassion and tried to offer what help they could. And you turned around and kept spitting the same vile remarks, about rape and your hair, they are two different things and just because your friend linked them together dose not make it okay for you to do the same.

You said stuff that truly hurt someone I care about, someone who always tries to be supportive and helpful.

You are clearly not well and need help. But this is not a place for you to come and wish ill will towards people. What you are doing buy saying the things that you have is much worse than your friends remark. Your friend was at least trying to help you feel better. Granted it was not in the right way. But at least she was not wishing upon other ill will.

I hope this thread gets closed right after this post, because there is no argument you could possibly have that could make wishing suffering on others okay.

I am a very compassionate person, but you are pushing the limits of my compassion.

Please go get some help! Please. You don't deserve to be suffering the way you are. And I know that to say the things that you have that you must be in a horrible place, and I am sorry for that. BUt that does not give you free reign to treat others with such hate. I wish you the best and hope you can find a way to have some peace in your life. Please take care.

in this thread when did i say i wished suffering upon others?
when the hell did i say i was wishing suffering upon others in this thread please open your eyes bigger and read this thread not the previous one..

if you are this compassionate read this thread properly and do not make accusation of me wishing hurt upon others
 
I'm supposedly away on status right now but I cannot let this rest. I am sorry, some things just have to be said.

There have been many .. many bully and abuse threads opened on this forum and I never put myself out there to discuss much of what I've been through myself because it's something that I had painfully went through which is something I would never have wished upon anyone else.

My first post reply to that thread of yours, was actually a nice one to you. I didn't disregard the fact that you saw how important your hair was to you as compared to rape. But I also gave my 2 cents.

What did you do? You disregarded what I said. Had you at least been one tiny bit grateful for those positive and encouraging posts by the other members, it would've been something. You lost your faith in humanity because of your shitty friends, well don't you at least see some hope in humanity by the people on this forum? We were trying to comfort you and help you and suggest things to you to help you with your issues.

If that wasn't what you were looking for, then please state clearly you are not looking for advice or any suggestions on how to tackle your problem.

Yes what your friend did was despicable, insensitive and mean. Then ditch her. Or say something to her, say all these things to her face. Go on, why don't you? If it has bothered you so much, confront her. Afraid of not having friends after that? Well, would you rather be friends with a mean person or not have friends at all? Maybe the former, who knows.

By the way, she shouldn't even be called a friend to you if she couldn't be sensitive to your feelings about your condition.

There would be no way ever that I would find pleasure in flaming you, or disrespecting you. If you just for a few minutes, stop feeling so negative and re-read the 1st page of that thread, and actually acknowledge some positivity from other human beings here. They were all being supportive of you.

DisturbedHell said:
i do not know why the hell my thread was locked up and why are people saying such nasty things to me?

You say nasty things to people, and you're asking why people are saying nasty things to you?

DisturbedHell said:
yes i admit i was harsh but ever thought why did i say that yes my humanity is lost but why?

All of you are only good at scolding and flaming me..

but do your ever understand the true message behind what i was trying to get through?

Ever been in my shoes and embarrassment to see what i have through?

Yes, we understood, we addressed your problems and why you felt that way. I even said I understood where you were coming from. Didn't you bloody read what we wrote? You're only picking on what negative things we said - and you haven't even LOOKED at what negative things YOU said. How insensitive of you, too, my dear.

DisturbedHell said:
How i was mercilessly rejected at dates?

Without waiting for me to give an explanation my thread was locked up..

If your say i am bad, the way your were shooting back at me it makes no difference between me and you.. we are of the same breed...

Do your really understood or gave me a chance to explain things?

Apparently your are no better, you do not bother to see further but only on the surface of what i am writing..

You had every chance to give your explanation before the thread was closed, before others intervened. You chose to explain in the ways of wishing others negativity and pain and suffering.

No no no, you are wrong. YOU are no better than your friend. Period. I know I am not like you, because I don't wish others to suffer what I have. You wanna say we're no better, seriously, go back and read your ******* thread and every single response there.

DisturbedHell said:
And to that guy who mentioned a wig..

Do you know once i wore a wig on a date and the wig slipped off how embarrassing was it? I never heard from the date again.

So one mistake happens and it's the end of the world?

Then you do things to improve that, find ways to secure your wig on so it doesn't slip off. You learn from mistakes, you do something about them. You give up so easily, and you blame it on others?

And yeah, the guy you dated and never heard from him again, is a ******. So ditch him. Wouldn't you rather know early he's a ********* rather than later and be hurt even more? I'd say count yourself lucky knowing you didn't go on more dates with such a shallow gardenia.

DisturbedHell said:
sometimes you can be a nice person in life but people take advantage of you or discriminate base on looks.. apparently you do not know how it feels.

so much for all the hypo critic words..

if wigs could solve all.... after mentioning to another date i wore a wig, i never heard from the guy again.

Again, shallow guy, ditch him. Or would you have rather gone out with ******** who would only care for your looks and not care about you for who you are? Maybe so. I wouldn't be surprised.

DisturbedHell said:
and to lady forsaken who says she has cancer... i have PCOS i do not know if i can conceive or not in future...

happy to hear that? Yes i have lost all my humanity...

I'm sorry to hear that you have PCOS. I really feel sorry for you. It's something that I could never imagine going through because I'd like to have my own kids someday.

But. Why do you ask if I'd be happy to hear that? You played that game first. In fact, I made it pretty clear that I would never wish anyone to go through pain or suffering just because I did. Why do you ask if I'd be happy to hear that you PCOS? I am nothing like you. I don't find satisfaction or joy from people who have been plagued by illnesses or are suffering in life.

Seriously, if you're gonna ask if I'm happy to hear about your misfortune once again, you're gonna regret asking me because I will then really give you a whole chunk of my mind because you CLEARLY do NOT respect the things I've said and my opinion about this. I DO NOT FIND SATISFACTION in other people's suffering, even in yours. Have I made myself clear, or do you want me to explain further so you can understand what kind of a person I am?

DisturbedHell said:
You have no idea how much my stupid friend hurt me..

she was flicking her thick long wavy hair and said "oh come on its only your hair not as if you have been raped, grow up.. then oh i am going to rebond my hair this saturday... "

why the hell did nobody criticise her but me? ha...

We don't need to criticise people like that, but if you go back to that thread and look at the posts replied by other members, they acknowledged that her behaviour was NOT GOOD. YOU CHOSE not to see their responses about your friend, so before you blabber off about how people disregarded your story about your friend, I suggest you go read the responses again.

DisturbedHell said:
but she had so much more than me and she is saying it in such a sarcastic manner.. this is why i became so sick wrong or right.. if she was nicer i would not have been so mad.. if she had said "try seeing a doctor while getting a wig to cover up" i would have been more pacified..

but instead she said "oh come on its only your hair not as if you have been raped, grow up"

Why the hell did she ever bring up rape in the 1st place? if your claim rape is psychological and intimate while hair is superficial?
you are comparing diff things

apparently there are idiots out there who do not see facts and choose to flame me..

You know. Why do you even talk to her? Why? You put this upon yourself, knowing what she's like but still hanging out with her and then saying that because of that you lost faith in humanity? She doesn't represent all of the human race. You see, we are nothing like her. We did try to help you. But you shoot at us and others before you even acknowledged our positive responses towards your situation.

DisturbedHell said:
and to eve who was framed - have you ever showed respect to me?

you are just as superficial like others. you see what your eyes what to see but not the true message..

forget it

No, you listen here, DisturbedHell. YOU WANT people to respect YOU? You show it first. Life or people don't owe you anything. Whether you get respect back or not, really depends a lot on how you treat others first. This is my experience in life so far. And I'm not much older than you, hey. But I've had my fair share of idiots out there. But there are also good, respectable people, if you know how to treat them right first.

You get what you give.

And by the way, Eve's not superficial AT ALL. You are. All those things YOU'RE flaming people for. You might as well say them to yourself.
 
My reply was referencing your previous thread where you did repeatedly wish that. This thread was a direct link from the previous, wondering why your other thread was closed. That is why it was closed. While your tone is slightly different in this post, you are still only accusing the members here who were trying to do what they could to help, of being awful to you. You call out several people specifically. People did criticize what your friend said to you. And just because people do not understand what you are going through is no reason to wish your suffering on them so they will understand. Or when someone suggests the obvious of a wig, why lash out at them, they are only trying to help. Its true they may not ever be able to comprehend what you are going through. But people can only offer what they know, and maybe what they know doesn't work for you. In this thread you make it out that everyone from the previous was mean or hateful to you, and that is simply not true there were more supportive and compassionate replies in that thread than negative. But you fail to acknowledge any of them. You just keep repeating the same thing over and over, accusing everyone of attacking you.
 
put all the blame on me if you want.. lock up this thread if you want.. nothing in this world will give me what i want..
yes i am at fault... everyone in this forum can hate me if your want.. wish me dead or more negative things if you want.
i do not care...
i admit i was at fault in saying those nasty things...
sorry then i shall cease to post..
i admit i was at fault but if your wish to see me as the worst criminal in this world fine then...

good bye


to be honest i do agree i am not in the right frame of mind..
your have no ideal what i went through in the past.
i admit it was not humane of me to write all these stuff..
but it was not easy for me to..
you take things the positive way..
my life is diff from yours...
i am very shocked from the way i am behaving too. in the past i was thinking like you until so much bad things happened..
 
DisturbedHell.

I'll only say this once. If you want people to give you compassion and to understand and respond to you in a positive way, just remember, you need to do the same as well. They people who responded to you including myself, our first replies to you were nothing but of encouraging comments and comfort to try and make you feel better. No one was out to get at you or to make you feel badly.

I'm sorry that I've been harsh in my replies after the first one in that thread. But if you really really want someone to experience your pain and tell you that hey, I went through it too and know what you mean... here it is.

DisturbedHell, I went through what you went through as well. I felt the pain, the rejection, the suffering, the insensitivity. Even my family members don't know how to show me support and they're supposed to be the closest people to me. I suffered what you suffered. I know your pain. To what degree, of course, can't really compare cos we're 2 different people.

But if it makes you feel better, yes, I have suffered what you're suffering. But what I would really ask of you now, is to please, try to let go of the negative thoughts, that is the one thing, that is stopping you from improving your life. No good can come out of thinking negative thoughts about yourself, or other people. People will always be people, a lot of idiots out there. But don't disregard, the good ones, because they too, have their stories.. and their own pain in their own ways. If you want them to listen to yours, you need to also listen to theirs.

We're not here to insult you or wish you badly or make you feel outcasted any more than you already do feel. We wanted to make you feel comforted.. but this is a forum of a lot of vulnerable and lonely people who have had multiple sufferings one way or another.. people are bound to get hurt by the things you said.. just as you were hurt by the things they said to you.

Just.. just try. Let go of the negatives. And open yourself up to some positives. It'll help. Trust me.

I wish you luck and all the best. I hope life takes you through better experiences so you can at least get rid of the negative ones. Take care.
 
Garbageman said:
My reply was referencing your previous thread where you did repeatedly wish that. This thread was a direct link from the previous, wondering why your other thread was closed. That is why it was closed. While your tone is slightly different in this post, you are still only accusing the members here who were trying to do what they could to help, of being awful to you. You call out several people specifically. People did criticize what your friend said to you. And just because people do not understand what you are going through is no reason to wish your suffering on them so they will understand. Or when someone suggests the obvious of a wig, why lash out at them, they are only trying to help. Its true they may not ever be able to comprehend what you are going through. But people can only offer what they know, and maybe what they know doesn't work for you. In this thread you make it out that everyone from the previous was mean or hateful to you, and that is simply not true there were more supportive and compassionate replies in that thread than negative. But you fail to acknowledge any of them. You just keep repeating the same thing over and over, accusing everyone of attacking you.

this is the reason why am i wishing bad things upon them since you brought up the topic of the wig not i am wishing harm upon others. ( Please read carefully )

personally i feel it insulting his tone of wearing a wig like one poster said aboiut his ex gf who had hair but shaved off her hair.. that was a blow to me.. i do not know is he trying to be sarcastic or help.. but i took it as sarcastic because to him hair is superficial but to me it is not.

since you brought the topic of wigs up, i was trying to address it..
you may take things in your stride but not me.. i am sorry..


Garbageman said:
My reply was referencing your previous thread where you did repeatedly wish that. This thread was a direct link from the previous, wondering why your other thread was closed. That is why it was closed. While your tone is slightly different in this post, you are still only accusing the members here who were trying to do what they could to help, of being awful to you. You call out several people specifically. People did criticize what your friend said to you. And just because people do not understand what you are going through is no reason to wish your suffering on them so they will understand. Or when someone suggests the obvious of a wig, why lash out at them, they are only trying to help. Its true they may not ever be able to comprehend what you are going through. But people can only offer what they know, and maybe what they know doesn't work for you. In this thread you make it out that everyone from the previous was mean or hateful to you, and that is simply not true there were more supportive and compassionate replies in that thread than negative. But you fail to acknowledge any of them. You just keep repeating the same thing over and over, accusing everyone of attacking you.

this is the reason why am i wishing bad things upon them since you brought up the topic of the wig not i am wishing harm upon others. ( Please read carefully )

personally i feel it insulting his tone of wearing a wig like one poster said aboiut his ex gf who had hair but shaved off her hair.. that was a blow to me.. i do not know is he trying to be sarcastic or help.. but i took it as sarcastic because to him hair is superficial but to me it is not.

since you brought the topic of wigs up, i was trying to address it..
you may take things in your stride but not me.. i am sorry..


why the hell do i want to wish harm upon others if you want to understand because they made it sound as if i am making a mountain out of a molehill. when they are so much better off than me making me sound as if i am complaining.. no pun intended...

if they were like me i understand...

but they are so much better of than me...

its just like a person with flu telling a cancer patient, it is just cancer the least you can breathe, i cannot even breathe because i have flu and i am going to a food fair tonight.. i cannot smell the food

this is how i felt.. so it is no surprise for my reaction...

shall stop writing now..

if you think i am bad... worst people are out there...

bye
 
i simply hope for more woman to lose their hair so they can understand what i feel instead

This is one of many comments you made in previous thread.
This says more women and not just ones who suggest wigs.

And even for the ones who suggest wigs, that is still no reason to wish that upon them. Just because people make suggestions you don't want or like to hear is no reason to wish your suffering on them.

Maybe you should go back and carefully reread your thread. Not just everyone else's posts but your own as well.

I don't hate you or wish any ill will towards you, I hope you can find a way to get through the hell you are living in. But you are so upset with your situation you are not seeing or thinking clearly, and as a result you are hurting people who are only trying to help you in the only ways they know how.
 
Garbageman said:
i simply hope for more woman to lose their hair so they can understand what i feel instead

This is one of many comments you made in previous thread.
This says more women and not just ones who suggest wigs.

And even for the ones who suggest wigs, that is still no reason to wish that upon them. Just because people make suggestions you don't want or like to hear is no reason to wish your suffering on them.

Maybe you should go back and carefully reread your thread. Not just everyone else's posts but your own as well.

I don't hate you or wish any ill will towards you, I hope you can find a way to get through the hell you are living in. But you are so upset with your situation you are not seeing or thinking clearly, and as a result you are hurting people who are only trying to help you in the only ways they know how.

why do you keep digging back to the old thread.. focus on the current one what i am currently writing and understand since the old one was closed...

i don't know if wearing wigs was a solution i would not be here...

and i did say i felt that they were belittling my pain this is why i was so defensive..

there is a reason for what i am writing.. i hope nobody here will get into my situation if one day your ever feel like me you will not be condemining me already.. maybe this sounds better? and maybe you will come to me and say sorry for what your wrote.. does this sounds better now?
 
Clearly you are ignoring my positive response to you, DisturbedHell because you don't want it. All right then. Suit yourself. :)

DisturbedHell said:
its just like a person with flu telling a cancer patient, it is just cancer the least you can breathe, i cannot even breathe because i have flu and i am going to a food fair tonight.. i cannot smell the food

But my dear, your flu will recover and you will live a long good life ahead. That person with cancer, that might be his/her last day and he may have lost his senses from the treatments and not be able to taste, smell, or even see colours of his surroundings. You have flu and you think it's worst than having cancer? Are you ******* kidding me?

I can't even tell you.. how disappointing it is to even read what I quoted above. If you can't even be grateful that you have flu rather than cancer.. my my.. it's going to be difficult to have a happy life ahead of you.

You wanna talk about people being insensitive. You are one hell of an insensitive person, a humongous one, let me tell you this. You don't know the first thing of what cancer patients go through. Clearly, you want people to feel what you felt when your friend compared hair loss to rape. I guess you have succeeded now. How could you.

So good luck. I really mean it.

And yeah, you're going to ignore any other positive thing said to you because you only wanna pick on the negative. Again, gonna be difficult to be happy.

I can't say.. what I'm even feeling right now. Hah.. such is life.

DisturbedHell said:
there is a reason for what i am writing.. i hope nobody here will get into my situation if one day your ever feel like me you will not be condemining me already.. maybe this sounds better? and maybe you will come to me and say sorry for what your wrote.. does this sounds better now?

I am not sorry for what I wrote. I don't regret saying what I said, but I was sorry that I was harsh in saying them.

But I am so so glad, that me and so many other people on this forum, are nothing like you.
 
ladyforsaken said:
Clearly you are ignoring my positive response to you, DisturbedHell because you don't want it. All right then. Suit yourself. :)

DisturbedHell said:
its just like a person with flu telling a cancer patient, it is just cancer the least you can breathe, i cannot even breathe because i have flu and i am going to a food fair tonight.. i cannot smell the food

But my dear, your flu will recover and you will live a long good life ahead. That person with cancer, that might be his/her last day and he may have lost his senses from the treatments and not be able to taste, smell, or even see colours of his surroundings. You have flu and you think it's worst than having cancer? Are you ******* kidding me?

I can't even tell you.. how disappointing it is to even read what I quoted above. If you can't even be grateful that you have flu rather than cancer.. my my.. it's going to be difficult to have a happy life ahead of you.

You wanna talk about people being insensitive. You are one hell of an insensitive person, a humongous one, let me tell you this. You don't know the first thing of what cancer patients go through. Clearly, you want people to feel what you felt when your friend compared hair loss to rape. I guess you have succeeded now. How could you.

So good luck. I really mean it.

And yeah, you're going to ignore any other positive thing said to you because you only wanna pick on the negative. Again, gonna be difficult to be happy.

I can't say.. what I'm even feeling right now. Hah.. such is life.

lady forsaken...
this is what i say you have misunderstood me..
when you have all misunderstand me you condemn me of picking on the negative...

my friend is the one with the flu and is complaining about it as for the other party i would not say who it was.

i do not want to put myself in such a dangerous situation to get my message across to ignorant people..

this is seriously it
 
DisturbedHell said:
this is seriously it

Then we are done here.

DisturbedHell, I understand that you are hurting but your hostility is not helping. I have to wonder if we are getting more of the story about your troubles on the other forum.
 
I know this thread is closed, but I'd just like to add something.
I have PCOS. I also have a wonderful 8 year old daughter. I was told I'd never be able to have children. I took only ONE round of fertility drugs before I became pregnant.
So, it IS possible to have children even if you have PCOS. :D
 
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