Pheenix
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2010
- Messages
- 625
- Reaction score
- 1
Hey guys. My social life is bettering at a hefty pace, and I have long known that people like me a lot more than I admit to myself and act through. For one thing, I know a girl who has a hefty crush on me that I am not really admitting to myself. I have also come to see that normal social etiquette is actually built up around the fear and shyness that a lot of people have, and that being a bit outside the curve in terms of being forward is okay if you have good intentions. So I have a plan to start becoming really outgoing, to the point of being very vulnerable and definitely not passing off as "cool" through standard definitions. I am 19 years old, so that is the age group the socializing will be going on in.
I wish to ask you about two areas: "warmth" and "fun." I want your opinions on how far you would personally enjoy a potential friend to go with you. I am not asking for what is normal but what would be pleasant, even if special.
"Warmth" - How personal questions I ask people. How obvious I make it that I want to help people. How much I hug or smile to people. How early I start trying to comfort people who are sad.
Example of warmth taken to the extreme: I sit down next to someone I met only some days ago, hug them, and ask them what they are doing, with my body pretty firmly in their personal space.
Example of very low warmth: When I only just met someone, I sit down next to them and await passively for a conversation to pop up.
So how forward would you like your new / potential friends to be with you? How much personal space do you need?
"Fun" - How big projects I invite people to. How much time and energy I expect others to spend having fun with me and more people on a daily basis. How special events I expect to do with people when we are bored.
Example of fun taken to the extreme: I am bored, so I start up a hobby project, like a fundraiser or something, and ask who wants to join.
Example of a very low fun: I am bored, so I invite people to watch TV with me.
So, how ambitious events would you want your friends to invite you to on a daily basis? Do you sit and chill in your room until you plan something major, or would it be cool to go out and do stuff all the time?
Remember, I am asking you what you would prefer in a perfect world, not what you are used to or what is normal.
I wish to ask you about two areas: "warmth" and "fun." I want your opinions on how far you would personally enjoy a potential friend to go with you. I am not asking for what is normal but what would be pleasant, even if special.
"Warmth" - How personal questions I ask people. How obvious I make it that I want to help people. How much I hug or smile to people. How early I start trying to comfort people who are sad.
Example of warmth taken to the extreme: I sit down next to someone I met only some days ago, hug them, and ask them what they are doing, with my body pretty firmly in their personal space.
Example of very low warmth: When I only just met someone, I sit down next to them and await passively for a conversation to pop up.
So how forward would you like your new / potential friends to be with you? How much personal space do you need?
"Fun" - How big projects I invite people to. How much time and energy I expect others to spend having fun with me and more people on a daily basis. How special events I expect to do with people when we are bored.
Example of fun taken to the extreme: I am bored, so I start up a hobby project, like a fundraiser or something, and ask who wants to join.
Example of a very low fun: I am bored, so I invite people to watch TV with me.
So, how ambitious events would you want your friends to invite you to on a daily basis? Do you sit and chill in your room until you plan something major, or would it be cool to go out and do stuff all the time?
Remember, I am asking you what you would prefer in a perfect world, not what you are used to or what is normal.
