I'm still hesitant to take any kind of self-improvement seriously and stick with things, because I feel like I either won't be able to improve due to a lack of genetics/talent or being outside the critical learning period. Or even if I do improve, it won't make any difference and women I like will still see me and think "loser", no matter how good I get at something, how much of a personality I try to cultivate, how "together" I get myself, how ambitious I am, how much I work out, how much money I have, none of it. Because I'm afraid I'm just someone that things don't want to work out for.
If I can't get anywhere and it doesn't matter what I do, then I might as well not bother trying to improve. I'd just be tiring myself out.
I'm still very angry and still feel very powerless, and I don't feel confident because of this feeling of lacking power, due to feeling that I lack talent or dumb luck. I'm afraid that no matter what I do or how hard I try I'll always be insufficient.
