Shamans Dream -- from memory

[epileptic]

SHAMANS DREAM
Tribal Beats bouncing off the backdrops of the sky,
while the stars dance with the moon.
The sky is ablaze with every single moment
with ambient air surrounding my soul.
Father time becoming one with mother earth
The Natives look over at me with anticipation.
Looking over.. and over.. and over..
"Wake up my child Nathan and breath the morn!
Let the whispering winds channel inside of you.
You are to know everything that is to be known by man.
Fly away my beautiful butterfly, fly away."
Stuck in a trance and lost in time forever
I walk away from the moonlight
Entering into the sunrise.
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ok, it wasn't EXACTLY like this, but its pretty close. I did this poem maybe 7 or 8 years ago.

 

[epileptic]

so, what did everyone think about my poetry? I'm always ready for a little constructive criticism.

 

[Naval_Fluff]

I like the imagery it sets up. Like, you showed us what it sounded like or looked like instead of just saying it. Right now I can't criticize anything, I liked it all. Good work

 

[SophiaGrace]

well its certainly different from the usual "I-am-in-pain" poem that people usually seem to write for some reason.

It's beautiful with it's melding of nature into the human spirit.

Unique topic, good portrayal.

I have nothing to criticize.

 

[epileptic]

well its certainly different from the usual "I-am-in-pain" poem that people usually seem to write for some reason.

It's beautiful with it's melding of nature into the human spirit.

Unique topic, good portrayal.

I have nothing to criticize.

whenever I did poetry, I had a tendency to stay clear of whining. I tried to pick topics that offer a very abstract emotional reaction. Tobad I lost a whole bunch of my poetry. I had some very unique pieces. Maybe I'll find them again somewhere.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Wow if I were you I'd be a whole lot more upset about losing my poems x]

But that's just me. Probably a good thing you aren't very upset about it.