I love my best friend now she has a bf and well I've known her for 5 years. we kissed yesterday because she thinks i just like her a lot but its more then that. so later on thatday i asked her if she has any feelings for me despite having a bf. she said it was a 1time thing and that she's sorry she lead me on and that I'm just her best friend. should i just tell her my real feelings and what after i mean do i let her go or no. what should i do.
should i tell her i love her and why?
- Thread starter firefox12
- Start date
Help Support Loneliness, Depression & Relationship Forum:
It sounds to me as if she already has a pretty good idea of your feelings towards her because of your asking if she had any feelings for you, and her then apologising for leading you on, saying that the kiss was a one time thing and saying that you are just her best friend. I am so sorry that you are in such a painful and awkward situation.
When it comes to whether or not to let her go, it depends on how painful it is for you to be around her. For me, I would need a long break from her in order to hopefully stop loving her, but some people would want to see her regardless of whether she loved them back or not. It is an individual decision for what you can cope with and what is best for you.
When it comes to whether or not to let her go, it depends on how painful it is for you to be around her. For me, I would need a long break from her in order to hopefully stop loving her, but some people would want to see her regardless of whether she loved them back or not. It is an individual decision for what you can cope with and what is best for you.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
I'm not sure it's healthy for you to have feelings for someone who see's you only has a 'best friend'.
I was in a similar situation and I cut all contact, I couldn't just be a 'friend'
I was in a similar situation and I cut all contact, I couldn't just be a 'friend'
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
Why and how did you two end up kissing?
By how, I mean were you drunk, excited...etc
By how, I mean were you drunk, excited...etc
firefox12 said:
I wouldn't. She has a boyfriend and still kissed you. If she wanted to be with you, she would be with you. She already knows you are into her, and now she's messing with you. Take it from a girl that has done this to guys multiple times before it came back to bite her.
TheRealCallie
Princess Pink Love
firefox12 said:
It sounds like she's using you. Maybe to see how far she can go with you and perhaps get you to be her little lap dog. I suppose there is a SLIGHT, MINISCULE chance that she could have some feelings for you, but I seriously doubt it.
I wouldn't tell her how you feel and try to get over her. A person who could do that is not someone you would want to be with.
As for letting her go, definitely do so if you can't get over your feelings for her. If you do decide to keep her in your life, I would tell her up front that it was unacceptable for her to do that.
VanillaCreme
Well-known member
Nicolelt said:
Agree. You could tell her, sure. But I don't think it would make much a difference. If she wanted something more, I don't even think you'd have to say anything.
KoosKoos
Member
Yeugh, she essentially cheated on her boyfriend there with you, um, trust me I don't think you want to date that. Just think about it, if she did that with you, who knows what stuff she will do behind your back if you two ended up dating. I'm going to be flat out blunt now, apologies if I anger you:
Best advice I can give is that its time you consider some things there bro, for starters she just used you and toyed with your emotions there by kissing you and leaving you hanging like that which is a major ******* move, do you really want to be friends with a person that does that? Personally I think you should tell her straight what she did is wrong and you're done with her until she apologizes for what she did, or just flat out leave her be and find someone who actually values your feelings.
Secondly just know that if you confess to her its most probably going to end with rejection and its going to be much more awkward than it is now, possibly hurting the current friendship a bit, since she already rejected you by shooting you down after the kiss. So fact is, you're not getting this girl and I'm sorry for that man, but you'll find someone better I promise.
Ultimately, what I think would be the best plan of action is doing what is best for you and not her. If you feel you can move on better by telling her and getting it off your chest, then do it and break contact for a bit to let the wounds heal, if you feel you can move on better without telling her a word then do that instead.
I hope for the best man, good luck
Best advice I can give is that its time you consider some things there bro, for starters she just used you and toyed with your emotions there by kissing you and leaving you hanging like that which is a major ******* move, do you really want to be friends with a person that does that? Personally I think you should tell her straight what she did is wrong and you're done with her until she apologizes for what she did, or just flat out leave her be and find someone who actually values your feelings.
Secondly just know that if you confess to her its most probably going to end with rejection and its going to be much more awkward than it is now, possibly hurting the current friendship a bit, since she already rejected you by shooting you down after the kiss. So fact is, you're not getting this girl and I'm sorry for that man, but you'll find someone better I promise.
Ultimately, what I think would be the best plan of action is doing what is best for you and not her. If you feel you can move on better by telling her and getting it off your chest, then do it and break contact for a bit to let the wounds heal, if you feel you can move on better without telling her a word then do that instead.
I hope for the best man, good luck
looking glass
Well-known member
I was in love with a girl once, it kinda happened accidentally. Anyway, she said that she has no feelings for me and I was pretty lucky that she didn't lead me on or anything.
So I can say from experience that, if you want to get over her, you have to cut all contact with her. Try not to see her, don't visit her facebook profile (if she has one), just try to ignore her. If you are good friends it will be painful for both of you but that is the only safe way for you to get over her.
After that... who knows what will happen. You may become friends again, even good friends, though I don't know. I certainly can talk normally to the girl I was in love with without having any deep feelings for her. I don't see her that often, though.
Although I don't really understand why she kissed you. I'd be certainly wary. I wouldn't necessarily call that cheating, but it's unusual behaviour for someone in a committed relationship who has no feelings for the other party.
It becomes difficult if you want to temporarily cut contact and she doesn't. But then you have to force it, you have to do what's best for you.
So I can say from experience that, if you want to get over her, you have to cut all contact with her. Try not to see her, don't visit her facebook profile (if she has one), just try to ignore her. If you are good friends it will be painful for both of you but that is the only safe way for you to get over her.
After that... who knows what will happen. You may become friends again, even good friends, though I don't know. I certainly can talk normally to the girl I was in love with without having any deep feelings for her. I don't see her that often, though.
Although I don't really understand why she kissed you. I'd be certainly wary. I wouldn't necessarily call that cheating, but it's unusual behaviour for someone in a committed relationship who has no feelings for the other party.
It becomes difficult if you want to temporarily cut contact and she doesn't. But then you have to force it, you have to do what's best for you.
The stuff on here sounds like some pretty tough advice to hear, and tough to make an exact decision on.
I'd listen to all the advice that was given, sounds like people know what they are talking about here.
I definitely agree that you don't need to really do or say anything.
It also seems to me that it is possible that she is just immature and does not necessarily know the impact of what she is doing? How old are you guys?
What you are going to do about it however, I think will have to depend on you: what you know about yourself and what you think is best for you.
I'd give myself some time to try to think it out. Decisions like this are not best made right away, I find for me at least anyway.
I don't think you can make any expectations on the future either, as you never know what it can hold.
I'd listen to all the advice that was given, sounds like people know what they are talking about here.
I definitely agree that you don't need to really do or say anything.
It also seems to me that it is possible that she is just immature and does not necessarily know the impact of what she is doing? How old are you guys?
What you are going to do about it however, I think will have to depend on you: what you know about yourself and what you think is best for you.
I'd give myself some time to try to think it out. Decisions like this are not best made right away, I find for me at least anyway.
I don't think you can make any expectations on the future either, as you never know what it can hold.
