Social signals

[In a lonely place]

I'd like to ask members there opinion of a situation recently in which I must have got the wrong idea about signals a woman was giving out.

When a woman smiles A LOT at people, what does it signify?
That she is happy most of you will say probably, but perhaps I haven't explained it properly. When a women smiles (really smiles, wide grin, wide eyes, open expression) yes,often and to many people, it's a very welcoming and alluring, I might say sexy thing. When she is pleasant and friendly to everyone to a man anyway, it is. To a woman? I don't know. I'm not a woman.

Now, when you might talk to such a woman, and she continues to give these welcoming and encouraging signals, and maybe a man finds he has a lot in common with such a woman and she seems to like talking to him, don't you think he might think I might have a very good chance to get to know this woman better?

Ok, so the man asks the woman if she might go out on a date with him. To be told 'I don't date co-workers', don't you think this is a bit of a cop out. Is this just an excuse to say no? Yes a woman has a right to say no to a bloke, but has any guy come across this situation before?

All I'd like to say to women out there is be carefull what signals you send.
Oh, and I know I'm not alone in thinking this way, because I know of at least 3 other blokes who have read the same signals from the same woman.

It may break some bloke's heart. It did this one.

 

[LoneKiller]

If a woman says that she doesn't date co-workers, quite often she is being sincere. Romance in the workplace can lead to disaster. It happens time and time again. For some reason, sex with co-workers messes things up royal.

 

[ajdass1]

Maybe that's just the way she talks with people. I mean, for me, I'm a man and I tend to be very smiley and encouraging with everyone I meet when I'm talking to them (unless they're a jackass). Of course, I completely understand your feelings because it can be very confusing. I think the 'not dating a co-worker' excuse is a valid one, like LK said it can mess things up royally.

You did the right thing asking her out instead of just pining away hopelessly. However I hope you don't become too bitter!

 

[Thomas]]

There's a girl I really like. I'm now finally starting to move on from my breakup 2 years ago.

We are very good friends and have been for 3 years. She touches my arm and my tummy often when we're together, which isn't too often. I think she only does this with me.

I get a strong feeling however that she's also not interested. Perhaps it's because of my shattered confidence from years ago. I agree with you about these signals. I think it can be very common for girls to do this without having an actual interest. And the most annoying part is that they get all uncomfortable and treat you like a "typical guy who wants more than friends" after you've tried.. I think some do it on purpose, and some actually don't know that they're sending these false signals =x

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ive worked with plenty of women...
Plenty of women worked for me. Have to be very
Careful with sexual harrazments in the work place.

I actaually got involved with my sale rep.
That was a major conflicts of interest.
But i knew her before she became my sales rep.
It was still rather odd to navigate through that.lol
We were dealing wirh mulity milion dollars contracts.
We work well as a team and sometimes we fought
Like a couple too.lmao Because i had to make
Her jump through hoops bussiness wise.
The only way for that relationship to continue
Was she got assign to another account.

Signals? ...were playing footies in bussiness
meetings.lmao

 

[SophiaGrace]

Women are confusing.

Men are confusing.


fresia all of y'all!

PEACE OUT! \o/! (not literally)

 

[BlueOwl]

I would understand it as she's that's just how she talks to people and she's friendly with everyone. I've met both men and women who are warm, smile, and give a lot of eye contact while being engaged with whomever they are speaking with. They are likable because of this and I can see how people can get mixed messages.

I've also seen girls flirt with men (all men and only men) just for the attention with no intentions of taking it further.

Either way, I think her no dating co-workers self policy is a common and valid one.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I nevered actaulky dated anyone that worked in
The same company...
I had one of my assistence come after me.
As a male boss...i learned to be very, very friendly
To women in the work place. Its just more productive
And less tense work eviirnment.

What kind of signal did she gave me?
She straight up asked me to go to her place...
I had to decline. I was her boss....

Thats was because i actually hired one of my
Exgf. The chick that took my virginity actaually.
Oh hell no....she wouldn't get her assignment done
Or missed woek once a week.
My boss was rather patient...but ultimately
I had to fire her...Of course my boss makes
Me fo the dirty work of firing people.lmao

 

[In a lonely place]

If a woman says that she doesn't date co-workers, quite often she is being sincere. Romance in the workplace can lead to disaster. It happens time and time again. For some reason, sex with co-workers messes things up royal.

Accepted work relationships could be difficult, (i've never had one so I don't know really), but then again they say a lot of people meet their future partner either through work or through hobbies.
A discreet friendship was all I imagined for a start. There are people at my work who have met and married.

She wants to be friends but I don't think I can be. It'll have to be a strictly business-like relationship.

---

Maybe that's just the way she talks with people. I mean, for me, I'm a man and I tend to be very smiley and encouraging with everyone I meet when I'm talking to them (unless they're a jackass). Of course, I completely understand your feelings because it can be very confusing. I think the 'not dating a co-worker' excuse is a valid one, like LK said it can mess things up royally.

You did the right thing asking her out instead of just pining away hopelessly. However I hope you don't become too bitter!

I hope I don't become bitter aswell, i'ts hard, really hard when she's all smiley and loving her new job and I'm there having helped her out and now I'm kinda regretting it.