ConsciousZion
Member
- Joined
- Aug 5, 2014
- Messages
- 7
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Hi,
I'm fairly new.. have been reading and posted a couple. But first time introducing myself. Here's a brief story. I have been oblivious to this self-esteem stuff up until last year when a therapist told me I had depression. I couldn't bear to understand how but then I was in denial too. My relationship with daughter was the reason I went to therapy. It was difficult for me to set boundaries. And when she wouldn't stop stealing, lying, verbally and emotionally abusing, I knew I needed help. She was eighteen and most of those were her choices but I also knew she was a product of my mothering. She ended up moving out.
I began to dig up my past, something I buried long ago. I found myself frantic about all the things I hid that surfaced when I was a child and the abuse I endured. It resulted in me living mechanically and letting life pass by while I allowed everything and seemed it all just happens. In other words, I felt helpless and invisible with some chance of life happening from time to time. Since last year though, I have made tremendous changes. I have set limits on people who are abusive towards me. Told my mother not to call me when she's drinking and that I will not see her that way either. Have established limits at home. I've learned how to communicate, listen, think, and act for my life. In short I've taken responsibility for myself.
Lately, I've had some really good progress on lifting low-self esteem but some days it's like I'm not sure what to do. It's been very challenging to say the least. I still struggle to make friends. But at least now I'm trying to make friends with me too.
I'm fairly new.. have been reading and posted a couple. But first time introducing myself. Here's a brief story. I have been oblivious to this self-esteem stuff up until last year when a therapist told me I had depression. I couldn't bear to understand how but then I was in denial too. My relationship with daughter was the reason I went to therapy. It was difficult for me to set boundaries. And when she wouldn't stop stealing, lying, verbally and emotionally abusing, I knew I needed help. She was eighteen and most of those were her choices but I also knew she was a product of my mothering. She ended up moving out.
I began to dig up my past, something I buried long ago. I found myself frantic about all the things I hid that surfaced when I was a child and the abuse I endured. It resulted in me living mechanically and letting life pass by while I allowed everything and seemed it all just happens. In other words, I felt helpless and invisible with some chance of life happening from time to time. Since last year though, I have made tremendous changes. I have set limits on people who are abusive towards me. Told my mother not to call me when she's drinking and that I will not see her that way either. Have established limits at home. I've learned how to communicate, listen, think, and act for my life. In short I've taken responsibility for myself.
Lately, I've had some really good progress on lifting low-self esteem but some days it's like I'm not sure what to do. It's been very challenging to say the least. I still struggle to make friends. But at least now I'm trying to make friends with me too.
