Stepchildren..

[IgnoredOne]

A thought that has been musing to me - how do people feel about stepchildren with partners not their own? Does it change if they have children of their own, versus not having any children of their own?

I have this image that while people attempt to be genial to be socially acceptable, biologically there would be an innate motivation to find stepchildren uncomfortable as they would be in nature, competitors for attention and affection without having one's personal genetic contribution.

If this theory holds true, then individuals will also have more affection for nieces and nephews as they have partial genetic connection, while having avid dislike of children they have no genetic connection whatsoever, as in nature it actually often leads to infanticide under the idea that the partner becomes somehow more fertile again after the removal of original children that would cause distraction/devotion.

Admittedly, evolutionary biology is only partially applicable to humans, but I am curious if there are any feelings to such an effect?

 

[Parabolani]

In my experience 'step' relationships are never good and if they are it's only because the step partner is making a huge effort to secure the relationship.

 

[Stars]

My mom is dating and I certainly don't expect whatever boyfriend she has to "love" me lololol...cause I certainly don't love them.
I'll respect them, but it's just not the same.

I don't expect myself to love the kids of other people in a relationship.

It might be different though if I were to adopt as a single mother...in a sense, I'd feel that the child is "mine" as opposed to being involved with a dad that has kids and his exes etc.

Also with that, single parents constantly date and break up as much as anyone else...partners come and go all the time...and usually when they go; they go. I've never heard of any step parent coming back and keeping regular contact with a child that wasn't his/hers.
So it sounds like many people just "love" the child if the relationship is there. Whereas if it's your own biological child...even if you break up with your ex - there's more likelihood that you'll keep in touch.

I'd totally not expect my mom's exes to keep in touch with me...even though they may have thought they "love" me.

And I'm talking in general so if people are going to get pissed off about my opinion...so be it.

 

[Tiina63]

If I did have a relationship with someone with children (I doubt I will because of a bad time in the past, but if I did), I don't think I could ever feel as much for them as I would have done for any biological children of my own. They would not be 'mine' in the deepest sense of the word, and even if I grew to love them and cherish them, I would not feel the same towards them as I would have done to my own.

 

[floffyschneeman]

I think the reason why people might feel not that accepting of step children is that they are the children of your partner and his/her ex. Some people can love other children as their own, just like you can build with a friend a bond like being sisters/brothers so I do thinks it's not always that a child is not biologically yours but that he/she is the offspring of your partner and someone else's