Stuckness after late-blooming graduation

[Aube]

I'm writing this with an uncomfortable feeling that's been nagging me in the last few weeks. Something that feels like ''been there, done that'', some apathy, some annoyance. I don't feel I can talk about it with anyone around me.

When people talk I can't relate unless it's some very basic things. People talk about buying a house, getting married, renovating their kitchen, their cars, their dogs, their garden, their trips. I listen, I may ask questions but I don't know anything about any of the above. I live in a very ''limited way'', materially speaking, so I don't have most of what people have or experience most of what others experience.

I've just finished a course of study. It's not worthless but it didn't change anything in my life. The job I have is not badly paid and is a good environment. It's the best thing I can get, the most money I can get from a job now so I'm staying there. If I had had it for the last 10 years and not have studied so long, I might actually be in an excellent position now. I find I have so much debt (nothing unmanageable, though) to pay off I cannot think of moving in better living quarters, so to speak. After I've paid everything I need to, some days I have only a bit of money left to eat until the next paycheck comes around. And round it goes.

That's it, I'm thinking, it doesn't get any better than this. Everything's going well but nothing's happening. All I can do when I have a day off is think of the ways I could capitalize on some very vague business ideas that would basically require no capital as I have none. Thoughts of blogging-for-money, e-books, enter my mind and leave with a trail of desperation. Going for more studies is out of the question. I'm thinking of possible sidelines or small part-time businesses.

All that for THIS. I've been ''around the block'' a few times, we could say and now I'd like to LIVE. I don't want to have any regrets but I do. The only way I can handle things now is by going forward and by trying to make the right decisions. I've never been a materialistic person but now I want to enjoy material possessions I never had, and the experiences that come with it (small trips, more living space, etc.)

I feel stuck and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm a late-bloomer who hasn't bloomed.

 

[Runciter]

I feel stuck and I don't know what to do with myself. I'm a late-bloomer who hasn't bloomed.

Count me in.

I used to have my own business, earn a nice amount of money and thought everything was fine. Then the economy took a nose dive, I lost my business, work I job I don't really like to just about manage to pay my bill and have no prospect of ever owning more than a few luxury items such as my computer and camera equipment.

It's really not so bad as long as you decide to stop trying to conform to the standard social/consumerist mentality. I don't want to own a house, I've seen what happens to people when they can't afford the mortgage, if I get kicked out I just rent another place. I don't want a car, I live in the UK where everything is just a couple of hours away on the train. I don't want the latest iPhone with a £30 per month contract when I can buy a £10 5 year old Nokia on pay as you go, sure I can't get on the internet without it but at least I can drop it on the floor without having a ******* heart attack.

I've stopped trying to live up to the expectations that are drilled into us by the media our whole lives and my life has become less stressful for it. I recommend it to all, consumerism is for sheep and capitalists. I'm neither.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

I know how you feel. But you shouldn't feel that way.

I'll be your age when I graduate, but I'm not too worried about it. I just want to get a good job, and be happy in life.

 

[Aube]

It's really not so bad as long as you decide to stop trying to conform to the standard social/consumerist mentality.

I've stopped trying to live up to the expectations that are drilled into us by the media our whole lives and my life has become less stressful for it. I recommend it to all, consumerism is for sheep and capitalists. I'm neither.

I see what you mean with consumerism however, that's not exactly what I'm talking about here. I'm not so interested about the latest cell phone or getting a car or a house. It's about living in a place that's not cramped and being able to visit places (not even overseas).

Actually, it's not about that either. I feel stuck, that's it. The material aspect is one level of feeling stuck, not the whole issue.

---

I know how you feel. But you shouldn't feel that way.

I know! I should feel happy! (Or should I?)

I just want to get a good job, and be happy in life.

Fair enough. And let's say you graduate and you find out that your job just pays the basics and you don't have much extra to enjoy yourself or do whatever you want to do. Let's say you have an ok job but you feel stuck, generally speaking. Would you be happy anyway?

 

[ladyforsaken]

Fair enough. And let's say you graduate and you find out that your job just pays the basics and you don't have much extra to enjoy yourself or do whatever you want to do. Let's say you have an ok job but you feel stuck, generally speaking. Would you be happy anyway?

Hi Aube.

I have a good "noble" job. But I'm not happy in it. Because the demands by the superiors and the workload is ridiculous at times that I think the stress from it over the years may have triggered some of my illnesses. Ever since my diagnosis, I've been trying to put work on the back seat because it was getting to the point where the doctors were telling me that I was having depression and anxiety.

And to make matters worse, I'm stuck. I can't quit, or I'd have to pay loads of money for breaching the contract. My entire contract was for 9 years, which included my studies. But 5 years on the job - I'm doing my 4th and I feel jaded and suffocated, I just want to get out of it. But I can't.

So yeah, I have a good job, but I'm stuck and am not happy in it. Well partially. The only good times would be when I interact with the youngsters. They're the only good thing about the job.

 

[9006]

I once had a good job too, good pay, lots of friends, quote popular and lots of material possessions.

Now I have none of the above... with the exception of SOME things left over. I only really started to appreciate the things I had when it was too late and now it just seems like another life, another life I'd like to have back. Now I'm just struggling paying a debt off while being unemployed. I can relate to how you feel about these things.

All I can suggest is that while it may seem honeysuckle now, you have to just persist with what you're doing. As long as you're making payments this WILL be paid off eventually, try not let your urges control you. Try and appreciate the little things you do have; your job, your pay and your recent accomplishment of study. For those who have sense and patience, things do tend to get better.