Kenny
Well-known member
The hallmark of a dishonest person is that he will tend to deal in and focus entirely upon words. Words instead of deeds.
Think back to all of those times in your life when someone deceived you and hurt you. We curse those people and the painful impressions they have left upon our psyches. Every situation we encounter in life is intended to teach us something. Often the situations that hurt the very worst will actually teach us the most.
An exercise: Remember now a painful betrayal or deception that was perpetrated against you. Take yourself back to that place. Close your eyes if you have to. Remember how much you trusted that person, then focus on his betrayal of you, and briefly recall how much that hurt.
This is not a pleasant exercise for most of us.
Now ask yourself "Who was deceiving whom?"
Chances are that you relied completely on that person's words and when you discovered he was lying to you, you felt totally and utterly destroyed.
Think back again, only this time, focus on all of that person's actions leading up to the betrayal. Were there signs? I bet there were. Actually upon closer inspection you will probably find that for some period leading up to the verbal untruth, there were multiple untruths in deeds. Things that were so blatant, but you didn't want to be hurt so you ignored them or allowed that person to explain them away.
The point is this: Don't focus on people's spoken words. Instead focus on their actions. Actions never lie - they aren't capable.
You can move on and grow as a person only once you realize this incredibly painful truth: The biggest liar in that situation was yourself, because you knew all along that person was showing untrustworthy actions. You lied to yourself to cover for that person! Just as much, if not more, than he did.
Once you decide that you will observe and focus upon (only) people's actions and pay very little attention to their words and simultaneously refuse to lie to yourself for those people (abet their lies), can you truly learn how to attract trustworthy people into your life.
Remember, words are the weapon of choice for a liar. They are master wordsmiths. If your attempt to focus on an action, any action, is repeatedly met with a deflection into focusing on words instead, you are likely dealing with one.
Good luck!
Think back to all of those times in your life when someone deceived you and hurt you. We curse those people and the painful impressions they have left upon our psyches. Every situation we encounter in life is intended to teach us something. Often the situations that hurt the very worst will actually teach us the most.
An exercise: Remember now a painful betrayal or deception that was perpetrated against you. Take yourself back to that place. Close your eyes if you have to. Remember how much you trusted that person, then focus on his betrayal of you, and briefly recall how much that hurt.
This is not a pleasant exercise for most of us.
Now ask yourself "Who was deceiving whom?"
Chances are that you relied completely on that person's words and when you discovered he was lying to you, you felt totally and utterly destroyed.
Think back again, only this time, focus on all of that person's actions leading up to the betrayal. Were there signs? I bet there were. Actually upon closer inspection you will probably find that for some period leading up to the verbal untruth, there were multiple untruths in deeds. Things that were so blatant, but you didn't want to be hurt so you ignored them or allowed that person to explain them away.
The point is this: Don't focus on people's spoken words. Instead focus on their actions. Actions never lie - they aren't capable.
You can move on and grow as a person only once you realize this incredibly painful truth: The biggest liar in that situation was yourself, because you knew all along that person was showing untrustworthy actions. You lied to yourself to cover for that person! Just as much, if not more, than he did.
Once you decide that you will observe and focus upon (only) people's actions and pay very little attention to their words and simultaneously refuse to lie to yourself for those people (abet their lies), can you truly learn how to attract trustworthy people into your life.
Remember, words are the weapon of choice for a liar. They are master wordsmiths. If your attempt to focus on an action, any action, is repeatedly met with a deflection into focusing on words instead, you are likely dealing with one.
Good luck!
