matt4
Well-known member
Although I'm way more confident then I used to be. I've worked on it so much the past few years, I've found in some situations that I revert back to being stuck. Situations such as an extremely attractive girl that I'm really interested in (why I try not to develop interests right away now), or just in large meetings.
What gets me down is when I do explain how I feel to people. They simply just pull out lines that are meant to comfort me but not understand me. They don't seem to believe I can be shy or have self-esteem issues.
I guess frustration I'd building up because I can't ask someone out at work who I like but don't talk to much. We spoke lots when she just joined the company. Now as my feelings have developed I struggle to look at her, she thinks I'm rude or awkward because her behaviour has changed towards me.
All of this is the one reason why I believe I'm destroying myself right now. I've turned to dating sites, and have had unprotected sex with a string of women. I drink a little too much. Not many women on dating sites are down for anything other then a fling. I want to have a relationship or friendships.
Another reason why I feel I've gone off course lately is that my one close friend. Is veering off to the political right. Not an issue for most people but we are both politics students...and she's getting close to the far right. I've only had two friends, I depend on and I don't see them often. The thought I might lose her worries me immensely.
I'd love to increase my circle of friends but my shyness no social issues, just forever seem to get in the way. No matter how hard I try.
I'd like to go clubbing and to bars again. Just to have fun but I can't go alone.
Sorry if it's hard to read. I'm using the smallest keyboard ever.
What gets me down is when I do explain how I feel to people. They simply just pull out lines that are meant to comfort me but not understand me. They don't seem to believe I can be shy or have self-esteem issues.
I guess frustration I'd building up because I can't ask someone out at work who I like but don't talk to much. We spoke lots when she just joined the company. Now as my feelings have developed I struggle to look at her, she thinks I'm rude or awkward because her behaviour has changed towards me.
All of this is the one reason why I believe I'm destroying myself right now. I've turned to dating sites, and have had unprotected sex with a string of women. I drink a little too much. Not many women on dating sites are down for anything other then a fling. I want to have a relationship or friendships.
Another reason why I feel I've gone off course lately is that my one close friend. Is veering off to the political right. Not an issue for most people but we are both politics students...and she's getting close to the far right. I've only had two friends, I depend on and I don't see them often. The thought I might lose her worries me immensely.
I'd love to increase my circle of friends but my shyness no social issues, just forever seem to get in the way. No matter how hard I try.
I'd like to go clubbing and to bars again. Just to have fun but I can't go alone.
Sorry if it's hard to read. I'm using the smallest keyboard ever.