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gabriel20 said:
Mouse said: Dad's anniversary falls on this day. Even all the money in the world that he had could not save him from the cancers that did for him in the end.


Quote: Yes I am strong person,but every now and then,I need someone to hold my hand and say everything will be OK.

Hugs!

Thank you, Gabe. :)
 
I think I'm starting to pay for the price of being on break from chemo. honeysuckle.

Mouse said:
Dad's anniversary falls on this day. Even all the money in the world that he had could not save him from the cancers that did for him in the end. :(

:(

Was the same way for my dad too...

...and a lot of times it feels like I am just following in his footsteps.
 
The last time I ate fresh strawberries was at my ex's awhile back. His dad got them for me. The ones I'm having now is not nearly as good as those was... ****. Ah, those were the times.

Also, I have not felt this drained out tired in the past 2 weeks. What's going on? Is it the deficiency, or is it the blood issues or is this something else? Can't blame me for being paranoid for every single thing now.
 
I don't know what to feel. I am genuinely happy for them. So why do I feel hurt is it? Or am I jealous? I don't know. I know the feeling will pass soon. Or am I bad person for feeling such. I know what they have is what I want for myself, but that isn't to be. I am not good enough to be someone's other half, and my life is too repellent for anyone to come close to wanting to be part of it.
 
Oh no. A bruise? Oh no. This isn't happening again...

Why the hell am I so tired? The last time I felt like this drained out and sickly was just before the whole ordeal started. Let this not be history repeating itself. I'm thinking it's probably the fever that's causing the aches and tiredness. But it's one of a kind..... I must not think about it. :\

As much as I keep thinking how much I hate to say this, but I think I need the treatment back now. Even if it will drain me and all the side effects come to attack, but I won't feel like this. Two weeks on break seems to make it deteriorate. Just a few more days now, gotta hang in there. :s
 
She-ra said:
I don't know what to feel. I am genuinely happy for them. So why do I feel hurt is it? Or am I jealous? I don't know. I know the feeling will pass soon. Or am I bad person for feeling such. I know what they have is what I want for myself, but that isn't to be. I am not good enough to be someone's other half, and my life is too repellent for anyone to come close to wanting to be part of it.

Shattered dreams and hopes, It's pain of your feelings you once had or you still have. Broken promises may be and broken heart into tiny little pieces, Yes it will pass soon it always does and No, you are not a bad person, bad person is someone who doesn't feel anything at all. you might not be good enough for that specific someone but you might be best for someone else. Stand firm, girl. You have to be. It's your life, don't let anyone ruin it.

*Big Dragon Hug*
 
PenDragon said:
She-ra said:
I don't know what to feel. I am genuinely happy for them. So why do I feel hurt is it? Or am I jealous? I don't know. I know the feeling will pass soon. Or am I bad person for feeling such. I know what they have is what I want for myself, but that isn't to be. I am not good enough to be someone's other half, and my life is too repellent for anyone to come close to wanting to be part of it.

Shattered dreams and hopes, It's pain of your feelings you once had or you still have. Broken promises may be and broken heart into tiny little pieces, Yes it will pass soon it always does and No, you are not a bad person, bad person is someone who doesn't feel anything at all. you might not be good enough for that specific someone but you might be best for someone else. Stand firm, girl. You have to be. It's your life, don't let anyone ruin it.

*Big Dragon Hug*

Thanks Pen Dragon. Very wise words :)
 
I must live in one the few special places in this country where you can come across a giant heap of horseshit on the sidewalk. I'll never complain about dogs again.
 
I'm feeling a little sheepish about various things and feeling regret at eating:

1 Chicken and Cheese Wrap
1 Large Garlic Chicken Pizza
1 Large portion of Doner Meat
24 Peanut Butter Cups
3 Nutrageous bars
and countless mugs of tea in a single evening.

I'm hoping that I won't do anything that stupid again.

I'm thinking that I am really lucky that someone cared enough to help me through a tough day.

I'm remembering where this journey began and if I did i once, then I can do it again.
 
^Mmm the chicken and cheese wrap sounds good. At one of my fav takeaways they do chicken meat chips and cheese. It is so tasty.

I am feeling so many emotions tonight, and I have another early start in the morning and need the sleep, but I dont think I will get what I want. Maybe I should sift through each emotion and why one by one and see if I an do anything about it.
 
totally excited after translating for two hours the stories of these two refugees, and ashamed that after hearing how this guy spent 16 hours holding on an inflatable boat raft in the middle of the Mediterranean sea I still had the nerve to think about my own problems and didn't give him enough attention and support - I am a horrible person... muststop, muststop, muststop
 
I'm at the point where losing people barely hurts anymore.

Although, there's not much to lose with someone who claims to be in love with me, but will deliberately hurt me in pursuit of opportunities to talk about painful childhoods so that he can "understand" and "love" me.

Is there anything worthwhile left in this species?
 

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