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Let's try watching this for the third time. Thanks sudden storm! All I wanted to do was watch some TNA!
 
TheSkaFish said:
It's looking more and more that I might have to move out, a lot sooner than I was ready to. In the middle of winter.

If that happens, I think that it's going to be all but certain that from then on, my personality will be permanently angry and unpleasant.

Fan-*******-tastic.



I don't want to go through the rest of my life angry and depressed, but things keep happening which reinforce those traits. I just don't see how it can be any other way.
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Why do you have to move, and why will it make you permanently angry and unpleasant? I don't know your situation, but moving out could be a very good thing for you.

I had to move last January, during one of the hardest winters we've had in awhile. The temp was around -20ºF and colder the entire time, the windchill made it even worse, and it took nearly 3 weeks and many car loads to get everything moved. I've also had to move suddenly before, due to unexpected foreclosure. It does suck. Why let it permanently affect your mood though?
 
Solivagant said:
Why do you have to move, and why will it make you permanently angry and unpleasant? I don't know your situation, but moving out could be a very good thing for you.

I had to move last January. The weather was around -20ºF and colder the entire time, and it took nearly 3 weeks and many car loads to get everything moved. I've also had to move suddenly before, due to unexpected foreclosure. It does suck. Why let it permanently affect your mood though?
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Actually it was that cold here last year. On some days, the temperature here was even less than it is on Mars. I'm not kidding.

But I might have jumped the gun. I get ahead of myself sometimes and am very quick to assume the worst case scenario WILL happen.

It might be good for me to move out, it will be necessary though I don't know exactly when. Still, I wanted to be able to do it when I'm good and ready, when I've sold my car and determined if I will need another, when I've gotten a few things that will help me or that it will be very difficult to get later, when I've researched and weighed all my options, when I know exactly what I will do. I'd like more time to plan it carefully and make an educated choice, versus jumping into almost certain disaster. Most of the good jobs are downtown, and if I moved there I would not need a car, but the catch is I'd have to live with someone because it's too expensive for one person unless you make a lot of money. The other choice is to move in with other friends who had invited me in the past, but I don't know what the situation is like there, and they live on the other side of the country.
 
A bloke is leaving work. I donated £5 to a collection the staff were doing.
He has just put a facebook message thanking everybody. He listed all the people, 13 of them who contributed to his present, not included me.
Probably not his fault, maybe the person who was doing the collection.
Shite whatever happened.
 
TheSkaFish said:
Actually it was that cold here last year. On some days, the temperature here was even less than it is on Mars. I'm not kidding.
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I know. =] We both live in the Midwest, but I'm farther north than you are.

I hate being pushed or rushed into anything. I'm very much like you in that I prefer to consider my options carefully and be sure I'm making an educated decision, but just be careful not to take so long weighing your options that you never make a decision. Sometimes you can take so long weighing your options that your options run out.
 
Solivagant said:
Sometimes you can take so long weighing your options that your options run out.
Click to expand...

Well said. Not just for moving in Mars' like temperatures, but for anything.



If we could see an ounce of his comedic side, these weekly shows would be a hell of a lot better. Why don't they understand that that is the type of honeysuckle we want to see?
 
Solivagant said:
I know. =] We both live in the Midwest, but I'm farther north than you are.

I hate being pushed or rushed into anything. I'm very much like you in that I prefer to consider my options carefully and be sure I'm making an educated decision, but just be careful not to take so long weighing your options that you never make a decision. Sometimes you can take so long weighing your options that your options run out.
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Oh. I thought you said you lived in northern Europe. Like Germany or one of the Scandinavian countries.

I don't like being pushed or rushed into anything either. Every time I have, I have made the wrong decision. I'm very leery of making big choices now, for that reason. But I'm worried it will come to that - that I've waited so long to make a choice that there will only be bad choices left. Basically I need to move out as soon as possible. I'd wanted to stay here until I'd built myself up a little more, physically, intellectually, and financially but it's looking like that's not going to happen. Also, I wanted to stay with my dog, but I don't know if I will be able to. The next best option would be to live close enough that I can still visit him on the weekends. But that would require living with a roommate, and I only want to live with a friend. I don't want to live with a stranger and live in constant fear of my things being stolen. That happened to one of my friends who moved to Chicago.

And then, if it costs less to live with my two friends in the Seattle area than it would cost to live with someone here, I'd pretty much have to do that because I'd need to take the least expensive option. But then I'd have to leave all of my stuff at my parents' house, and potentially never see my dog or grandmother again. And before I could even consider leaving I'd have to already have a job lined up in the Seattle area, that I would need to be able to get to by public transit since I'd have to sell my car anyway.

I don't know. I get very discouraged because there really isn't a good option either way.
 
TheSkaFish said:
Oh. I thought you said you lived in northern Europe. Like Germany or one of the Scandinavian countries.
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No, that's just (part of) my ancestry. Maybe you're thinking of when I said I live in a region that was settled primarily by Scandinavians.

You fear living with the regret of a bad decision, which is understandable. But not every decision has to last forever. Some things you can change, albeit not always immediately. There may not be an option that seems all that good to you (I totally understand not wanting to live with a roommate, especially someone unknown to you), but maybe just try to keep in mind that it doesn't have to be permanent, and look at it as a step forward. Eventually you will have a job that pays you enough to live on your own, and then you can decide where you want to live, on your own terms. Right now your options are dependent on other people too, but it won't always have to be that way.

TheSkaFish said:
And then, if it costs less to live with my two friends in the Seattle area than it would cost to live with someone here, I'd pretty much have to do that because I'd need to take the least expensive option.
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^ You wouldn't have to take the Seattle option just because it's least expensive. You only have to take what you can afford. If you can still afford to live near your family and you'd rather do that than move to Seattle, there's no reason you can't. Even if it doesn't seem affordable, there's probably a way to make it work if it's important to you.
 
Solivagant said:
^ You wouldn't have to take the Seattle option just because it's least expensive. You only have to take what you can afford. If you can still afford to live near your family and you'd rather do that than move to Seattle, there's no reason you can't. Even if it doesn't seem affordable, there's probably a way to make it work if it's important to you.
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It's important, but idk, I don't want to have to live in a bad neighborhood. For one, I just don't want to. I played by the rules for the very reason that I wouldn't have to live in drug and violence infested area. Two, I just don't think I have what it takes to survive there. I wasn't raised to be streetwise. It's not what I know.

It's weird. We're definitely not hood types, but we can't really afford to exist here either, in suburbia. We're caught in limbo.

Solivagant said:
No, that's just (part of) my ancestry. Maybe you're thinking of when I said I live in a region that was settled primarily by Scandinavians.

You fear living with the regret of a bad decision, which is understandable. But not every decision has to last forever. Some things you can change, albeit not always immediately. There may not be an option that seems all that good to you (I totally understand not wanting to live with a roommate, especially someone unknown to you), but maybe just try to keep in mind that it doesn't have to be permanent, and look at it as a step forward. Eventually you will have a job that pays you enough to live on your own, and then you can decide where you want to live, on your own terms. Right now your options are dependent on other people too, but it won't always have to be that way.
Click to expand...

Yeah. Because I've made so many bad decisions already. I can't afford any more, not just in terms of money but also time. That, and I'm just tired of taking leaps and ending up in a pile of crap. What to major in, what my personality should be, views on myself and certain things, certain other bad uses of my time which I wish I could get back, etc.

I would be willing to live with a friend, even happy to. But not a random stranger. When my friend lived with a stranger in the city, he came home one day to find his guitar missing. The roommate claimed not to know what happened, but my friend said that it was pretty clear that the roommate pawned it for weed money. My friend moved home the very same day.

Well, thanks for being understanding anyway. I guess it does help to keep in mind that there may be a way to a better life eventually. I get so caught up in things sometimes, like when something is bad, I automatically project it into the future and don't see how it could ever get better again. But I guess I don't know that it will stay bad forever, and that it is possible things could get better again.
 
Why does it seem like... no matter where in the world you are... too many people are just as ignorant and just as rude as the last place? She could have honestly offered a bit of understanding, and not sent me to a message machine. honeysuckle like this just makes me want to build a little house down a road nobody knows.
 

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