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Darrell_Licht said:
I can't take compliments. They seem to mean nil to me. Especially when I tend to feel alienated most of the time.. But thanks anyway..

Me either. I always think they're after something else. It's a means of a way to get what they really want..
 
You didn't need to wake him up for that... Just put the ******* box on the couch. Your grandson shouldn't mess with it if you told him to stop doing stupid stuff or if he actually listened to anyone.
 
Some people are so fake. Can't I just have some consistent honesty, for once.

Rodent said:
ladyforsaken said:
Rodent said:
A second chronic illness for my record. At least it's not harmful, just annoying.

I hope you're okay, Rodent. :\

Thank you for your concern. But it's not even worth mentioning, really. Just a circulatory disorder...now officially confirmed.

Take care, Rodent.
 
The trick for me that I need to master is to learn to sustain my confidence. Sometimes I will have it, other times I'll be absolutely flattened. Sometimes I can sit back and think logically about how to solve my problems and I will come up with answers that make sense and are tested, shown to have worked for others in the same situation. I KNOW, factually, that people have escaped ruts before that were exactly as deep and slippery as mine.

The problem I have is getting it to stick. I know I need to do this, because no one in any position of prominence or has any measure of success got there by telling themselves they weren't good enough for it. But at the same time, sometimes I feel like there just isn't enough "predator" in me to do it. I feel like a minnow who wants to become a shark, but minnows stay minnows, and sharks stay sharks. I sometimes think of the guys my age who went on to get good jobs and girlfriends and I remember back to before, and idk, we are not the same...they came from some measure of money to start with, and had a certain kind of meanness to them that I did not have. I know this is at the root of some of the limiting beliefs I have about me and success - that you have to be a bully to have it and I was never a bully so I can't have it - because that's what I was conditioned to believe at a young age. It's hard to shake that, even with logical arguments. If only I could find a way to be stronger, but without the meanness.

I don't want to believe that I need to be meaner, that that is the answer. But I have a hard time convincing myself that it's not.
 
You're something. I'm not sure what to think of you, but all I know is that I'm not giving up on you. No matter how much you try to get rid of me.
 
I'm thinking...

Most relationships make me sad and I don't understand why people carry on extra baggage in the first place if they find the person so expendable. Be as masochistic as you want but don't drag the truly devoted down with you, please? Ugh. I just stay away from people until I get the feeling (or it's proven to me) that someone is reliable.

Depressing topic. Moving on. I should be asleep by now but I normally feel like sleeping is a waste of time unless I can't avoid it. So I stay up until I fall asleep, usually after playing with myself.

Anyway, I am depriving myself of sleep, so I might as well try to have positive thoughts and feelings while I'm up, right? No thinking about what was and will eventually be, if I can help it.

I wish my favorite movie were On Demand right now. I need some Thor in my life. I don't have 3D glasses, so I can't watch the version that is available.

Maybe I'll tolerate another episode of Charmed, or squirm through another episode of Monsters Inside Me.
 
Volmornu said:
I just stay away from people until I get the feeling (or it's proven to me) that someone is reliable.

Even when they're proven reliable at the time, there is always the possibility of them changing, or lying about stuff. This is what I have problems with too, myself.

Volmornu said:
Maybe I'll tolerate another episode of Charmed, or squirm through another episode of Monsters Inside Me.

I love Charmed. I haven't met anyone else who does. :0
(Piper was my favourite Charmed sister.)
 
ladyforsaken said:
Volmornu said:
I just stay away from people until I get the feeling (or it's proven to me) that someone is reliable.

Even when they're proven reliable at the time, there is always the possibility of them changing, or lying about stuff. This is what I have problems with too, myself.

Volmornu said:
Maybe I'll tolerate another episode of Charmed, or squirm through another episode of Monsters Inside Me.

I love Charmed. I haven't met anyone else who does. :0
(Piper was my favourite Charmed sister.)

love love love Charmed - I guess I can relate more with Paige, but Phoebe makes me laugh
 
15 gig Dragon Age download: Done. Feeling better that 15 gigs only took me roughly a day and a half. And feeling good that I'll be playing a game that I think I liked.
 
I know it's only 8am.... But I need to go get some mix for the rest of that bottle to fix myself.
I hate my issues. :|
 
Charmed is okay for me sometimes but I can't think of a single character I consistently like, other than Cole.

And I prefer Prue over Paige. I miss her. :(
 
People tell me I look a lot nicer and approachable with my current haircut...well, in comparison to a almost zero-length buzzcut. In reality, it didn't have any impact apart from already known people telling me this exact thing all the time. So what's the good of that?

...I should cut it down again. Even if my parents get all fussy.
 
Sitting on the side of the road with a flat and no spare. I'm glad I just bought a case of beer.
 
Rodent said:
People tell me I look a lot nicer and approachable with my current haircut...well, in comparison to a almost zero-length buzzcut. In reality, it didn't have any impact apart from already known people telling me this exact thing all the time. So what's the good of that?

...I should cut it down again. Even if my parents get all fussy.

Funny you should mention this. I shave my head all the time and people are always telling me how scary and unfriendly I look. Occasionally, I'll let it grow out a bit and change the style and suddenly I'm approachable again. I guess it just goes to show how tied up in appearance we all are.
 

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