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Watching "Letting Go" makes me realize that I am not the only one who can't let go of that sort of loss. I don't feel quite as big a lost cause.
 
My yougest duagther, Kelsie. I love her very much.
I'm grateful she had decide for us to move foward with our relationship, reaching out to me
and wanting to stay in contact with me, now that she's old enough to make her own decisions.
She told me she wish that She and I was never saperated, but it wasn't our decisions.
That was the past...Now we're both old enough to make our own decisions and move forward
with our lives and not dwell in the past. She's a "normie" :p

Note to self:.....it's okay for Bluey to Hit up on younger women in her early 20's...just as long as its not my duaghter :p
 
I'm getting worried about Germany's goalies for 2010 World Cup. I dunno, I don't think Neuer is any Jens Lehmann.
 
I am a liar. I lie every day to everybody and tell them I am OK, I say I am coping, I force a smile and do my best to act normal and to not let my true feelings show through my carefully put together mask and I try my best to just get on with life. I am the only one who doesn't believe the lies, or if they can tell they don't let on that they know it's all an act. I lied when I told him that I didn't want or need his help.

I am thinking about suicide.
 
Wilson: "You're a coward House. You find fault in everybody because you're afraid to look at yourself."
House: "Thanks, I was running short on platitudes, you can leave now."
 
well I swore I would never apply to a fast food restruant other than subway unless I was really desperate

and I am really depsreate,
but hey I got a call back from KFC sweet

the KFC in marion

6 miles away
well time to dust off my insane hardcore and environmentalist biker badge and try to get a job killing chickens

yay

I hope it works out
 
Owner might be coming in tomorrow. Jesus Christ why do I have to be working the day the owner might probably will come in. WHY?
fresia.
 
that its 504am and im still in chat and i should really be trying to go to sleep but it doesnt matter anyway because my mind will keep me awake. atleast i dont work tomorrow or have any opening shifts any time soon.
 
cool, well they said they have a position available at the restraunt that's closets to our house i have an exciting ( sarcasm) orientation tomorrow

then I start working tuesday or wendsday hopefully it goes well
 
Well, owner was long gone so he didn't visit today. Good cause I was on dining room today lol.
Lost my not critical scholarship, but it gave a nice chunk of money that would have been very helpful. Not surprised though, I failed a class last semester so, yeah. Sent my mood plummeting though....I can't put this off forever, I need to figure out how I'm going to fix this. I just don't know what I'm going to do. I haven't even looked at my grades from last semester yet. ugh. I just don't know.

good luck evanescence, the restaurant/food business is a real experience, that's for sure.
 
Lonesome Crow said:
cheaptrickfan said:
I'm feeling completely exhausted, utterly demoralized and totally unloved.

Too much sex Eh?:p

Hardly.




And now it seems that I am being punished for something without being told what it is.

How nice.

But I am off to the salon.
 
Idiot summer freaks posing trying to look cool and sexy with all their designer bullshit makes me SICK!!!!!!!!
Baywatch numbnut mothe*fresia**!!!!
must go out into my yard and do a snowdance..

phew!!....and relax..indoors now..nice and shady:cool:
 
I just cried so hard that I thought I was going to throw up.





1. I apologize for the facebook purge, but I went on a rampage just now, slashing and burning. I am wavering between staying here and deleting my account, I just can't get my head on straight because...

2. Just when I thought I was allowed some measure of happiness in my life, it all goes tits up and I am slammed back to ******* earth.

Reality really sucks.

I have not cried like this since the last guy 2 years ago. I guess I really a going to be alone for the rest of my pathetic life.

The ONLY people who love me are my kids and even they are due soon for that teenage disdain for their mom. What will I do then?
 
Sorry to hear about that CTF...
I don't have an answer for you...becuase i sure as hell don't have the answers to my problems.

I went through a simular thing not too long ago. (You know with who and you warn me to be careful).
But ya know...I'd throw my heart at her in a heart beat, even now. It took me 2 years to move on with my
life the first time around...Okay, if I'm moving forward and thinking about moving forward in just less
than 2 months this time around...well, it's progress for me.

I've when journaling about it. Yes sometimes and a lot of times the tears do come and I cant stop
them. It's how I feel. I love her very much and i know this. I'm okay this. I feel sad about the circumstance
and it hurts. So...I don't feel crazy. It's about as normal as I'm going to feel and be a situation is
like this.

I tried talking to people about , but I stopped.
I've heard it a million times the same as before..."that I should stop loving her."
But that's not how I feel and that how i am. And Im not going to pretend that I don't love her
or ly to myself.

I'm also greatful that my daughter Kelsie is coming back into my life.
She loves me and misses me very much. There's love in my life and I'm grateful.
She too was also a part of my life and having her in my life again was also my hopes and dreams.
I'm focusing on this at the moment.

*hugs*

P.S. i still think Ur Smexy and I'm single and avaliable :p
 

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