Who Walks Away Most?

[nerdygirl]

Battered women's shelters are just weird places, anyway. After getting my name changed and relocating, I ended up at a shelter. The people there were honestly confused and surprised that I had moved to an entirely different state, where I didn't know anybody. Most women keep working where they've been working, their kids still go to the same school. The only difference is that they're sleeping in a shelter- and apparently, most of them go back home after a few days. I found it absolutely ridiculous, because the administrators spoke as if these other women had it together, and I was all screwed up in the head for uprooting myself.

 

[Kenny]

Battered women's shelters are just weird places, anyway. After getting my name changed and relocating, I ended up at a shelter. The people there were honestly confused and surprised that I had moved to an entirely different state, where I didn't know anybody. Most women keep working where they've been working, their kids still go to the same school. The only difference is that they're sleeping in a shelter- and apparently, most of them go back home after a few days. I found it absolutely ridiculous, because the administrators spoke as if these other women had it together, and I was all screwed up in the head for uprooting myself.

My heart goes out to you. My mother went through that. "The System" (be it social workers or even some volunteer groups) often act as though victims or people in need are mentally defective. It's a crucial blow to your self-esteem, when you can least handle it. Isn't it?

 

[Enchanted Girl]

No, I'm no ones keeper. I am an adult who stated an opinion. You and your snotty remarks andour bully tactics mean nothing to me.

Elgin, you're the only one here who's trying to be a bully. In nearly every thread you post in, nearly every post you make, it's usually you trying to push people to have your opinion. If you can't be civil, I suggest you not post.

You know you are tight, I shouldn't be here. I've only posted about 4 times. One time to a guy putting down jobs for being beneath him when he said he had NO work skill at all and no real ambition for getting any. People bashed me because I work and have figured out that I make or break my own life. You've never seen me post about what a mess my life is because it isn't. That's NOT bragging it's just a fact. Now, I get called a bully just cause I'm sick of seeing the same people bust on Kenny. I also get busted on for using a word someone didn't like when this WHOLE forum could be used as a freaking example of illiteracy. I see other posts where people defend another person and it's fine. ME, it's a crime!
I'm new and a handy target for you to show what a hypocrite you are. YOUR one of the biggest offenders for being a bully, ignorant and one sided. No wonder this site is so slow and filled with spineless, lazy people who only want to whine and ***** about life being unfair and never really figuring out how to LIVE their life.
If this is how you treat new posters with a differing opinion or view, fine. I do have better things to do.

Callie bullied me and then Enchanted came in and defended her by saying she would, "fight me" Now isn't that what adults say all the time? Now enchanted gets all pissy and callie comes rushing in being a ***** and YOU blame me and say I bully. It's more funny than annoying.

Callie and enchanted need to get a room and YOU can camcord it for them.
because you're all a bunch of angry, bitter kids sticking together and making excuses for why you're all so messed up.

You have no clue what it is to be civil. YOUR the biggest hypocrite in here.
You think being a mod is some license to run over people but half the people in here hate you.

I don't need anyone to have the same opinion as me, now you're transferring your faults to me. Everybody sees it but they play your game. I don't play with losers. I'm outta here.

and the results?

LOL, well obviously the "woman" walks away 100% of the time in lesbian couples.

The other subject I was reading on was about how underreported same-sex violence actually as, and how these women are abused and aren't even safe in a "woman only" shelter because the abuser can go in.

---

Yet it's funny that YOU are the only one arguing in this thread, isn't it?

Actually, Enchanted Girl did go spastic first for no reason demanding the thread be closed. She's been following my posts for weeks, doing this, and she keeps doing it. It's quite annoying. She ransacked my book review thread and attacked me for being a victim of abuse myself.

---

I didn't "go spastic" for no reason. I've already said and it's true that I've seen this exact thread made on a forum for adults before and everyone got extremely pissy about it in there. The whole forum was divided. This forum's reaction to it was weird, but I actually conceded to your point and started participating calmly in the discussion after I saw how people were reacting to it here instead.

I also haven't followed your posts for weeks or whatever you said. You forget the first time I responded to one of your threads, it was very sympathetically because you were talking about a personal experience. I take each thread how they are and respond in kind.

And I'm not pissy. Disagreeing with someone as I said in another thread doesn't automatically make me angry. I dropped it because I decided you guys were right and this forum could handle this thread. If I was as pissy and stubborn as you claim I am, then I would have continued to insist when other people joined in that this thread was bad. I didn't and I'm not even saying that now. You guys are the pissy ones.

I am intellectual. I'm sorry you can't handle that but because I'm an intellectual, you must sometimes convince me that you are right about something before I believe you. It doesn't mean I hate you because I don't agree with everything you say automatically. It just means I am my own person who can think for themselves and enjoys intellectual stimulation. If you calm down and stop viewing me as the enemy, then we can actually discuss things, instead of you getting upset all the time.

And I agree that Elgin is a bully. His problem is apparentally with me (I never said I would "fight him" XD LOL, I don't threaten physical violence like that and I'm a bit confused about where I've actually debated Elgin in depth. Is this Kenny's second account? Because he was the one I was arguing with in two other threads), Callie, and SophiaGrace, but he still insulted the entire forum as if it was everyone's fault, making fun of everyone for every little problem they had. I'm sorry, but this forum is made up of more than three people and by insulting every single one of them and all their problems, you are being cruel to people who weren't even involved.

And I would have just dropped this whole thing if you guys had dropped it. I let you guys have your last words about it earlier and therefore conceded to your opinions and then all of a sudden you were bringing it up again for no reason.

 

[SophiaGrace]

You know Enchanted, your first post might've mitigated the fighting that might've occured on this thread. But because you posted that warning, it changed how we responded to it.

By the way, out of curiousity, how did we respond oddly to this thread?

 

[Enchanted Girl]

You know Enchanted, your first post might've mitigated the fighting that might've occured on this thread. But because you posted that warning, it changed how we responded to it.

By the way, out of curiousity, how did we respond oddly to this thread?

No one got angry by the statistics or bitter over it in any way. That's what I've seen the response be from a bunch of people on another forum, but maybe I just post on a forum full of immature people somewhere else. They are supposed to be adults, too, but they never calmly talked about it. I'm used to people fighting online or something, I think.

Next time, maybe I'll just word it (if this ever happens again), that we need to be careful when talking about a certain thing because I've seen other people fight about it and then maybe it will be fine and no one will fight.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Is it bad if I admit I didn't even look in depth at what kenny posted and just went off what I skimmed and the title of the thread?

 

[Limlim]

I just find it funny how we're arguing over the discussion over the potential for people to argue about the topic of this thread, rather than the thread itself!

This place is fun!

 

[evanescencefan91]

Is it bad if I admit I didn't even look in depth at what kenny posted and just went off what I skimmed and the title of the thread?

lol that's alright that happens form time to time, just try to be more careful about that

You know you are tight, I shouldn't be here. I've only posted about 4 times. One time to a guy putting down jobs for being beneath him when he said he had NO work skill at all and no real ambition for getting any. People bashed me because I work and have figured out that I make or break my own life. You've never seen me post about what a mess my life is because it isn't. That's NOT bragging it's just a fact. Now, I get called a bully just cause I'm sick of seeing the same people bust on Kenny. I also get busted on for using a word someone didn't like when this WHOLE forum could be used as a freaking example of illiteracy. I see other posts where people defend another person and it's fine. ME, it's a crime!
I'm new and a handy target for you to show what a hypocrite you are. YOUR one of the biggest offenders for being a bully, ignorant and one sided. No wonder this site is so slow and filled with spineless, lazy people who only want to whine and ***** about life being unfair and never really figuring out how to LIVE their life.
If this is how you treat new posters with a differing opinion or view, fine. I do have better things to do.

Callie bullied me and then Enchanted came in and defended her by saying she would, "fight me" Now isn't that what adults say all the time? Now enchanted gets all pissy and callie comes rushing in being a ***** and YOU blame me and say I bully. It's more funny than annoying.

Callie and enchanted need to get a room and YOU can camcord it for them.
because you're all a bunch of angry, bitter kids sticking together and making excuses for why you're all so messed up.

You have no clue what it is to be civil. YOUR the biggest hypocrite in here.
You think being a mod is some license to run over people but half the people in here hate you.

I don't need anyone to have the same opinion as me, now you're transferring your faults to me. Everybody sees it but they play your game. I don't play with losers. I'm outta here.

dude calm down yo, I'm sorry, that other people bashed you a lot of people post on this forum and it's hard for us to go through and read everyone one of them,we try to make sure there aren't any trolls or spammers about if someone sees that going on they can report them, and we'll take care of it we are not singling you out,
and it doesn't matter whether your life is a mess or not, that's not any importance on this forum.

I didn't bust you on using a word, I just pointed out, that it's not the most adult word in the dictionary and you really don't have to use it if you want people to be more mature. I don't care if it's used correctly in a sentence or not.

really since the name of the site is a alonelylife, it isn't really the first place for people who have their life figured out, people are encouraged to express complaints or discontent with their lives. Bad things happen sometimes, and it helps to share about it. There is nothing wrong with that.

I'm sorry there was an issue with the other members, but if that happens please pm one of the mods and we'll talk to the other member and try to get things resolved, because many people here are alone, they may often feel sad or angry about there lives and sometimes conflicts arise as will happen on any other forum with many members. But holding a grudge or pointing fingers at others doesn't help.

Actually, Enchanted Girl did go spastic first for no reason demanding the thread be closed. She's been following my posts for weeks, doing this, and she keeps doing it. It's quite annoying. She ransacked my book review thread and attacked me for being a victim of abuse myself.

I'm sorry I don't know what happened in the book review thread but i don't think enchanted really went spastic, she expressed concern that this topic could lead to conflict or wind up with each gender arguing against the other.

We talked it over, and we hopped that people could remain civil on the topic, which is true, but it seems other issues have seeped in the thread, so we may end up closing the thread.

If you are having a conflict with another member please contact one of the mods and we'll try to get things figured out

So please everyone calm down and think before you type
if are still feeling angry take a few deep breaths, close your eyes and imagine you are someplace calm and quiet,
a serene forest by a trickling stream with the soft rustle of the leaves in the wind, and the soft chirp of the spring birds, and little kittens romping around the leaves,

aww kitties

 

[VanillaCreme]

This is to both Elgin and Enchanted:

I find it funny how the two main people in this thread who wants to throw fists are you. Enchanted is angry that no one else was angry... None of us had to be. Elgin, for all of your 65 posts, which you believe is only 4 times... you seem to be a very bitter person.

Both of you relax, or I'll put an end to you posting here myself. If you don't like what a thread is about, then don't post in it.

 

[Enchanted Girl]

This is to both Elgin and Enchanted:

I find it funny how the two main people in this thread who wants to throw fists are you. Enchanted is angry that no one else was angry... None of us had to be. Elgin, for all of your 65 posts, which you believe is only 4 times... you seem to be a very bitter person.

Both of you relax, or I'll put an end to you posting here myself. If you don't like what a thread is about, then don't post in it.

I'm not angry about anything. I was worried in the beginning and like I've said repeatedly, I was wrong and I'm glad I am wrong.

It's just when people say that I'm overreacting to things or talk about me, I usually say something back about it. Like here, my name was mentioned. It comes from years of being picked on and letting people say things. Now, I always respond when my name is brought up in any fashion.

Not that I am saying you are picking on me because I don't think you are.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Your name was not mentioned before you posted. You expected this thread to be something it wasn't, and to be honest, I'm glad it didn't turn out how you thought. We're both in the same boat. You have the right to state your own opinion, but next time, be cool about it, and if the thread gets out of control, let the mods deal with it.

 

[Kenny]

.....

 

[nerdygirl]

My heart goes out to you. My mother went through that. "The System" (be it social workers or even some volunteer groups) often act as though victims or people in need are mentally defective. It's a crucial blow to your self-esteem, when you can least handle it. Isn't it?

Yes, the system is really weird, and I've never been overly fond of it.

My situation, though, is a good example of what I was saying. I'm one of those people who believe marriage should be a forever kind of thing. If it gets hard, you work together to make it right. I stayed through a lot of awful things most people wouldn't tolerate because of my feelings on this. After a while, my church stepped in. Because churches advocate staying together, it really means something when they encourage you to file for divorce.

Marriage isn't just a certificate. It's intention, promises. It's a contract. When somebody files paperwork for a divorce, the contract usually has already been broken. That person is just notifying the government. Sometimes, they're asking for a new contract in which they get stuff. Sometimes, they just want a clean break. Whichever way it goes, filing for divorce is not the same as walking away.

 

[fortasse]

Interesting note that I gathered from a few articles on Google: men tend to suffer more emotionally after a divorce than women, even though men tend to do better financially.

So perhaps one reason women divorce more is because they are better at surviving alone after a divorce than men.

Ahem, or, because women get most of the custody time with the kids usually, they do better emotionally than men tend to do.

I'm not sure what the point of your "ahem" was. It makes it seem like you're trying to contradict my point, which I don't know if you were or not.

That being said, I agree that since women tend to receive custody of children, that does give them an emotional buffer than men must live without after a divorce. But we should keep in mind that not all divorced couples have children.

Elgin adults usually refrain from using the word snotty

Absolutely! The correct term that an adult should use is "pretentious". It means the exact same thing, but it sounds more mature...